Oct 8, 2010, 12:05 PM EDT
You guys are familiar with my Charlie Manuel-as-throwback fixation. I truly believe that he was sent here from, say, the late 40s, by some benevolent scientists in order to save us from ourselves. Sort of a reverse “Quantum Leap.”
I’m certain he has vast stashes of fresh beer made by breweries that haven’t existed in decades. I think he wrote the text for all the Burma-Shave signs back in the day. I would bet my life that he calls the couch “the davenport” and the refrigerator the “ice box.” He is a human time capsule, carrying wisdom and folkways in that head of his that Western Civilization has lost.
So I’m totally not surprised that his barber saw both Don Larsen’s perfect game and Roy Halladay’s no-hitter in person, the latter of which he took in after playing the ponies (“I caught a couple of winners”). In fact, I bet that the barber is actually Cholly’s sidekick, sent here by the scientists too. His mission: if anyone gets wise to Manuel’s game, he fixes to give ‘em the old dipsy doodle, see?
- Ian Kinsler hopes Rangers go 0-162, calls GM a “sleazeball” (132)
- Albert Pujols was insulted when someone asked him if he can put up Mike Trout numbers (103)
- Manny Machado calls $519K salary for 2014 “disappointing” (86)
- Is Barry Bonds really getting a “fair hearing?” (82)
- Ryan Braun calls himself an “artist,” doesn’t care what fans on the road will shout at him (75)