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Melky Cabrera: batting fifth in a playoff game. Mercy.

Oct 8, 2010, 5:34 PM EDT

People wonder why I’m emotionally checked-out from the Braves. Why I’m sleeping on their chances. Why I’m totally content to play the “happy to be here” card and to spend more time thinking about what, if any team I’ll pick up as a temporary rooting interest in the next round of the playoffs after the Braves bow out.

Here’s a good reason: Melky Cabrera is batting fifth in the Braves’ lineup tonight.  Fifth! As in, the guy behind the cleanup hitter. The place you usually want to put a guy with a little pop, seeing as though there’s a good chance that the team’s two best hitters — third and cleanup — could reasonably be expected to be on base. Melky.

Depending on how you measure it, Melky Cabrera is probably the worst player in the league. At least among those who received any significant playing time. He’s five-tools bad: he doesn’t hit for average. He doesn’t hit for power. He isn’t fast. He doesn’t have a good glove. He doesn’t have a good arm.

Did Eric Hinske die and no one’s telling us? Is Nate McLouth battling a case of shingles? Is there anything sadder than the fact that both of those are questions that Braves fans legitimately deserve answers to as they wish for something approaching a quality lineup? Melky. Really. Fifth.

As I was trying to think of a way to end this post, I vented about Melky to Gleeman.  His response: “If Matt Cain throws a no-hitter tonight, I would rank it slightly behind James Shields’ start.”  And he’s right. Melky.

Know what I’m going to think about all winter? About what the 2010 Braves could have accomplished had they had even a single average outfielder beyond Jason Heyward.

Melky!

  1. Trevor B - Oct 8, 2010 at 5:51 PM

    Craig, I’m sorry.

  2. Mr. Heyward - Oct 8, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    Craig, you clearly don’t drink enough. Remember Homer said that it creates and solves all the worlds problems.

  3. FrankZappa - Oct 8, 2010 at 6:06 PM

    even two more good outfielders wouldn’t save these bums from getting swept…some of the easiest money i have ever made out here in vegas

  4. Schlom - Oct 8, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    And you people complained about the Padre lineup.

  5. Cheap Seat Chronicles - Oct 8, 2010 at 6:48 PM

    As a Twins fan, I’m in the same boat right now.
    I came in full of confidence and swagger and now I’m working on a systematic plan to choose my next rooting interest for the rest of the playoffs (currently leaning toward the Phillies b/c Utley is just so damned dreamy).
    Although it’s possible I’m cursed and rooting for the Yankees would torpedo their chances of repeating?!

  6. Bad Boy - Oct 8, 2010 at 7:23 PM

    Bobby Cox can sometimes be a mystery to me. Many of his moves over a season are highly questionable in my mind, not just this year, but year over year.
    I would tell him a better way to go, but then I remember that he has over 2500 more major league managerial victories than I. (And you too Craig!)

  7. SouthofHeaven - Oct 8, 2010 at 10:05 PM

    The Yankees fan who dug the Melk-man last year would like to see him make you eat your words, but the realist in me kinda doubts it.

  8. DGL - Oct 9, 2010 at 1:27 PM

    Let’s see: McLouth .190/.298/.322, 69 OPS+; Melky .255/.317/.354, 83 OPS+.
    Not that Melky’s line is what you want to put fifth, but I think he’s actually less horrible than Nate.

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