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Our long national Melkmare has come to an end

Oct 19, 2010, 12:30 PM EDT

I haven’t seen anything official on this yet, but’s Fantasy 411 outfit is reporting that the Braves have released Melky Cabrera. This causes me to ask several questions:

  • Do we measure the time it will take for the Pirates to sign Melky in seconds, milliseconds or nanoseconds?
  • Do the Yankees declare victory in the Javy Vazquez trade because theirs is the last tomato can standing?
  • Will the Braves have someone standing behind Melky as he cleans out his locker in the likely event that he drops something?

I could probably go all day with these things, but I’ll stop now and pour one out on the ground for my departed homey, Melky Cabrera. One milkshake, that is. I think he would have wanted it that way.


  1. nps6724 - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:33 PM

    Ask and ye shall receive 6 months later.

  2. Chris Fiorentino - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:34 PM

    Nah, I’ll take Melky Cabrera 2010 over Javy Vazquez 2010 every day of the week. It’s not the Melkman’s fault the Braves played him too much. He’s an OK 5th outfielder and that’s about it.

  3. BC - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:35 PM

    I don’t know who sucked worse for them this year, Melky or McLouth.

  4. Chris Fiorentino - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:35 PM

    Besides, he spawned the greatest John Sterling home run call of them all…”THE MELKMAN DELIVERS!!!!” I love me some Sterling.

    • nps6724 - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:36 PM

      You like that more than “An Aaaaaa-BOMB for Aaaaaa-ROD!”?

      • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:38 PM

        Yeah, I do like A-Bomb…from A-Rod too. They are all so good, except the Text Message from Texiera one…that one is too clunky. I like Jeter’s “El Capitan”.

      • nps6724 - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:39 PM

        Wow, what a douche he sounds like.

      • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:41 PM

        Robbie Cano…dont ya know…

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:55 PM

      Who’s the guy announcing last night who sounds just like James Woods? I can’t even listen to him without picturing James woods speaking. Kinda funny.

      • gerryb323 - Oct 19, 2010 at 2:38 PM

        Hahaha….that’s Ron Darling I think. He does sound so much like James Woods. It’s pretty astonishing.

    • sdelmonte - Oct 19, 2010 at 1:07 PM

      The worst has got to be “happy Thames are here again.” The lyric is “Happy Days,” you dunderhead!

      When I’m feeling bad about my Mets, I stop and remember: we have Gary Cohen and Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez and Howie Rose. They have John Sterling.

  5. kander013 - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    John Sterling is the biggest d-bag calling games on the radio.

  6. Chris Fiorentino - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:50 PM

    Sterling is a d-bag…agreed. He’s also funny…but you don’t laugh with him…you laugh AT him. Come on…as much as I hate the Yankers, I loved this call for Jason Giambi, “The Giambino” or Tino Martinez “The Bam-Tino” These are all bringing up terrible memories of the late 90’s early 2000’s. I do hate his “Theeeeeeeeeeeee Yankers win” That’s Bush League.

  7. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    I drank Melman’s milkshake. I drank it up!

    • ditto65 - Oct 19, 2010 at 5:09 PM

      Drainage. DRAAAAAAINAGE!!!

  8. kander013 - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    Laughing with him or at him, he’s trying to be above his role. Call it as you see it. Same thing for Michael Kay and Joe Buck. Ernie Johnson is getting there, but he’s so confused by not having Sir Charles next time him or on a golf course, he doesn’t know what to do. But if i were Buck or Johnson and had to sit next to Tim McCarver or Ron Darling, I’d probably poke my own eyes out.

    • Chris Fiorentino - Oct 19, 2010 at 1:09 PM

      Believe me, I would NEVER Listen to a game called by John Sterling. I’m talking about the highlights…Mike and the Dog used to play his calls every day and they were flat-out hilarious. But he also gets alot of stuff wrong, or he’s slow to know whether balls are leaving the park. His typical hilarious Home Run call…

      “Theeeeeee pitch…there’s a drive to right field….that ball is high….that ball is far….that ball is…..gooooooooone. Home Run Alex Rodriguez. An A-Bomb…from A-Rod. Alexander the great!!”

  9. BC - Oct 19, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    The Grandy man can….

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