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Yet another “how to fix baseball” article

Oct 22, 2010, 12:35 PM EDT

It’s a fact: if you have a media outlet, you are required by law to write a silly “how to fix/save baseball” post at least once a year. If you don’t, you risk losing funding and stuff. The latest: from Business Insider.

I’m not going to dignify it with a blockquote, because every idea in it is either stale, unworkable, or simply bad to begin with. And, as is typical of the genre, of their eight suggestions, a good five of them seem to be driven by a mindset that basically says “gosh, there’s just too much baseball and I’d like to see less of it.”

For once I’d like to see a “how to fix baseball” article that begins with the identification of an actual serious problem with baseball other than the author’s apparent distaste for it.

  1. Jack Marshall - Oct 22, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    Curse you, Craig, for making me read that crap.

  2. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Oct 22, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    Must…resist…reading stupiditiy….

  3. The Dangerous Mabry - Oct 22, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    Relegation. Hilarious. Because the Newark Bears are somehow going to bring a lot more to the table than the Royals.

    • JBerardi - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:35 PM

      Wouldn’t that suggestion basically destroy the farm system as we know it? I mean, the Royals already HAVE an AAA team. How’s that gonna work? More importantly, what owner would ever even consider allowing this? All that crap about repealing the 14th amendment was more grounded in reality than this idea.

    • rabiague1986 - Oct 22, 2010 at 9:27 PM

      The Newark Bears don’t draw anyone now and don’t even play in regulation AA stadium. I can walk into the stadium so many nights with no ticket and sit in the first row behind home plate.

  4. andrewkw - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    All stupid ideas but having just the world series is better then having an extra round of playoffs.

  5. zidanevalor - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    The only real problem with baseball I see is that there are some nine inning games that last longer than four hours. That being said, I don’t have any good ideas on how to fix it because things like “the pitcher must pitch every 15 seconds” are usually dumb or unimplementable.

  6. BC - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    What a pile of garbage that article is. Why not just suggest making the ball cube-shaped? Or better yet, how about a pentagonal icositetrahedron?

  7. Jonny 5 - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    Thanks for that link. I had fun breaking that guy’s balls.

  8. The Rabbit - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    “Business Insider” is representative of a genre of publications that also claim they know how to “fix” the economy, “fix” health care, recommend your retirement portfolio, etc. They are equally knowledgeable on those subjects as they are regarding baseball.

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 22, 2010 at 3:03 PM

      One of the other morons from that site on Football

      ” Helmets are supposed to protect players. But instead, they’re used as weapons.

      If NFL teams practiced without helmets, players might not learn how to do that.

      The NFL could go further and just take helmets away on Sundays; hits would immediately get softer. A bonus: more marketable players with more recognizable faces.

      • The Rabbit - Oct 22, 2010 at 4:47 PM

        I hope that article was tongue-in-cheek because it’s absurd.

        One of the duties of my management career was to read the financial publications regarding investments, taxes, etc. (I actually have an extensive background in this boring stuff.) Most of the so-called “journalists” were clueless. It looked as though all the research had been done at a bar.
        Most of what is published includes “facts” is to either support someone’s political agenda or to promote their own or someone else’s business interest. An example: The articles asserting Madoff’s genius.

        There are a few really, really good impartial writers among the publications, but unfortunately, the general public has no way to discern them.

        Followup to last night- Definitely some culture shock moving from Jersey to the Ozarks. I’m surrounded by the Mark Twain National Forest and a number of State Forests and 150 miles from anywhere. Not much to do but great places to hide the bodies.

  9. JBerardi - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    Also, did anyone else notice that the author prefacing the whole thing with this statement:

    “But don’t worry, a couple friends of mine and I were at a bar last night and we figured everything out.”

    Huh? Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? Because it sounds like he’s admitting he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about and that this article is a huge waste of everybody’s time. What the hell kind of a statement is that?

    • Jonny 5 - Oct 22, 2010 at 2:52 PM

      I think he’s implying that He, even while drinking, is smart enough to know how to MAKE people watch the game.
      Who else is sick and tired of hearing about ratings with baseball?? I personally could give two shits less about ratings. I wasn’t even aware football season started yet. Because, for me it hasn’t until baseball season is over for my team.

    • hep3 - Oct 22, 2010 at 4:35 PM

      Well, remember what Cliff and Norm on Cheers used to say. Drinking kills brain cells and because it kills the slowest and weakest brain cells first, you get smarter when you drink. However, this guy lost way too many brain cells before he got to the bar.

  10. aarcraft - Oct 22, 2010 at 3:10 PM

    I wish people would realize that just because the NFL is MORE popular, doesn’t mean baseball is dying. They can both be popular. It is not a zero sum game.

    • rabiague1986 - Oct 22, 2010 at 9:32 PM

      Very true but the United States and Canada need to do a better job of developing their amateur players instead of handing fields to soccer moms to play bastardized soccer. Personally for me Baseball is the only sport I watch and could care less about other sports. Just no appeal, I watch the Carribean series during the super bowl and will until the day I die.

  11. yankees1996 - Oct 22, 2010 at 4:19 PM

    Did you see the guys picture, what a rube! If he is a good deputy editor then he should stick to that because him and his freinds are idiots when it comes to baseball. Oh, another thing Mr. Carlson who in the hell ask for your opinion anyway, big jerk!

  12. ta192 - Oct 22, 2010 at 4:30 PM

    I didn’t think the article was all that bad, but the “NFL in 2020” bit was a real hoot…special kudos to the “no helmet” NFL while outside the stadium in neighborhoods everywhere, people are being ticketed for riding their bicycles without helmets…

  13. cktai - Oct 22, 2010 at 5:54 PM

    What world cup has a round-robin system?

  14. rabiague1986 - Oct 22, 2010 at 9:42 PM

    This article is complete garbage. Relegations would be awesome but the minor league stadium are far too small and don’t think could be expanded large enough to accommodate major league crowds. I agree with no inter league play but I also think they should merge both leagues. Also playoff games should have no off days this is ridiculous we should be in the middle of the World Series right now.

  15. Ryan Lansing - Oct 22, 2010 at 10:29 PM

    This article is like an electrician telling a plumber “You know what that faucet needs? Wires and switches and stuff.”

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