Nov 8, 2010, 8:20 AM EST
I had an excuse for missing baseball news this weekend: I got a new phone that is perhaps the scariest bit of technology I have ever encountered. I’m still traumatized, frankly, and all I’ve done is figure out how to change the ring tone. You guys who spent all weekend watching football have way less of an excuse. That’s just a sad sport, frankly, and if you can’t get everything you need from Florio, Rosenthal and the rest, God help you. You don’t need to actually watch it.
OK, sorry. That was hostile. I’m just a bit phone-shocked. I’ll be better as the morning wears on. The weekend wrap:
- Fightin’ K-Rod moved in with gamblin’ Charlie Samuels after he got slapped with that restraining order. I smell a sitcom!
- Sticking with the Mets, the kabuki theater they are going through in order to satisfy the rabid portions of their fan base that they’re really considering Wally Backman for the job when they totally don’t plan on hiring him is something to behold.
- Bad news: an elbow injury has likely ended Jamie Moyer’s career. Good news: He can get some simple surgery to fix it now, but if he had suffered this injury during the early part of his career they would have shot him to ease his suffering. See, because medical science has advanced so much in the past . . . oh, just forget it. I’m just sad that this may be my last chance to make a Jamie Moyer is old joke.
- The Nats have a three year we’re-not-really-going-sign-him-but-we-want-people-to-think-we-tried offer on the table to Adam Dunn.
- Terry Collins could be the front runner to be the Mets’ manager. I have this feeling that no less than a half dozen dudes will be the front runner to be the Mets’ manager over the next week to ten days.
- Jayson Werth wants Matt Holliday money. Matt Holliday prints his own money? Cool!
- Hisashi Iwakuma is apparently a hot property, but only among AL West teams.
- The Astros don’t want Lance Berkman back. But he’s changed, baby! He can make it work this time, he swears! Don’t do him like that, baby!
- Derek Jeter and the Giants? Nah, but you know, even though I’m 100% certain Jeter goes back to the Yankees, a Giants uniform is the one non-Yankees uniform I can imagine him looking the least out-of-place in. Just aesthetically speaking. It’s the one uni that looks good and classic enough so that it wouldn’t diminish his historical stature, while at the same time not breaking some rivalry or cultural taboo like the Red Sox or Dodgers would. OK, maybe the Tigers, but I’d prefer it if Alan Trammell remained the most famous Tiger shortstop of all time, thank you.
- I know a half dozen good people who have been laid off and can’t seem to find work, but former #1 pick/violent flameout Matt Bush is on a 40-man roster. And I’m supposed to believe in God? Pffft.
- Jhonny Peralta and the Tigers are nearing a two-year deal. I wonder if he’s about to embark on the “Sean Casey tour of the rust belt” career path. And no, I don’t see him passing up Trammell on the famous Tiger shortstop list.
- Edgar Renteria wants to come back in 2011. The one guy who could have gotten around the old “all things end badly or else they’d never end” maxim is gonna blow it. Oh well. And hey: another Tiger shortstop.
- Oh, the official free agency period began at midnight on Saturday. With the time change they’ve had an extra hour and everything, and still no one has signed with a new team. Slackers.
Hey, I think I figured out how to make my phone make fart noises! Progress.
- Ian Kinsler hopes Rangers go 0-162, calls GM a “sleazeball” (132)
- Albert Pujols was insulted when someone asked him if he can put up Mike Trout numbers (101)
- The politics of “The Cardinal Way” (67)
- Robinson Cano wants the Mariners to bring in Kendrys Morales and Ervin Santana (64)
- Reporter calls Ian Kinsler as self-absorbed as A-Rod (60)