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HBT Weekend Wrapup

Nov 22, 2010, 6:23 AM EDT

Turducken

I love Thanksgiving week. It brings back so many memories. Grandma’s turkey. Weird uncle Pete’s turducken. That time I learned about the Braves signing Andres Galarraga while I was sitting in the Charlotte, North Carolina airport waiting for a connecting flight . . .

  • It strikes me that the Derek Jeter saga is putting lie to that notion that baseball is truly cracking down on teams and agents using the press to negotiate this winter.
  • Jim Leyritz is acquitted of manslaughter charges. No joke here. Just don’t mess up the second chance you’ve been given, Jim.
  • Domonic Brown is learning that just because you’re sent to play winter ball doesn’t mean you actually get to play winter ball.
  • Oliver Perez is stinking up the Mexican League. This is probably a good thing. If he was pitching well down there the Mets would be tempted to start fresh with him next spring to see if he could snag a job. Now it’s way easier to simply release the guy.
  • The Marlins and Nats are both courting Javier Vazquez. It’d be nice if he stayed on the east coast this year, because if he gets to pitch in Citi Field it will allow some Yankees fans additional chances to boo him.
  • The bidding for Cliff Lee is expected to start at $120 million. I got this image of that “Saturday Night Live” sketch from the mid 80s when Christopher Guest was the auctioneer and he threatened to suffocate hamsters and shoot himself if the bidding didn’t go higher. I may be one of six people who remember that sketch.

Short week, kids. You can do this. Just pretend that today is Wednesday.

  1. Utley's Hair - Nov 22, 2010 at 11:08 AM

    I’m thankful this year that we won’t have to hear John Madden’s incessant ramblings about turduckens on Thanksgiving—even if it DID come with the price of hearing Cris Collinsworth saying, well, just about anything at all.

  2. Old Gator - Nov 22, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    That turkey in the photo looks like Mr. Creosote. And don’t thkimp on the pah-ey.

    Incidentally, Ut, we’re having a turducken to celebrate Aboriginal Extermination Day ourselves! It’s a cuisine as rich with symbolism as the history of genocide that our self-indulgence seeks to efface. Each bird-within-a-bird represents the progressively smaller and more cramped reservation into which our native tribes were bullied. The carving represents the progressive theft of native properties and resources. The mulled wine represents the rampant alcoholism and drug abuse that replaced the cultures and traditions we destroyed. And the stuffing as a sort of demotic gesture toward what we did to these people to thank them in general for helping our otherwise clueless ancestors get a foothold here in the first place.

    Okay, time to start boiling the cranberries.

    • Utley's Hair - Nov 22, 2010 at 1:04 PM

      Wow…you really boil the crap out of those cranberries, dontcha?

      • Old Gator - Nov 22, 2010 at 1:37 PM

        You have to. Stray signals from the Trailer Park Network interfere with the microwave.

  3. Charles Gates - Nov 22, 2010 at 12:24 PM

    A Monday is always a Monday, unless it’s a Munday, which mine is.
    Tomorrow is Wednesday, and the day following is Friday for this shortened holiday workweek. Followed by Thanksgiving, which always comes on a Thursday.
    See? Simple.

  4. mekons5 - Nov 22, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    OK, the last thing I expected this morning was to go to a sports blog and see someone quoting the Nails. Since I, like you, spend my days staring at a computer screen in my basement for a living, this is likely to be the high point of my week. Unless the Braves go back and rape the Marlins again or something, that is.

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