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Giving Thanks: The National League East

Nov 25, 2010, 12:00 PM EDT

ABC#00841

Admit it: you’d rather read this stuff than watch the Lions or the Cowboys today, right? I mean, they’re awful.

Anyway: that for which teams and their fans should give thanks on this most gluttonous of days:

Philadelphia Phillies: Finding the Blue Jays and the Astros when they were in a transition period. Really, if things didn’t break just right in those cases, the Phillies could be entering this winter with Cliff Lee leaving via free agency and a rotation full of Blantons and Kendricks and stuff.  Ick.

Atlanta Braves: Jeff Loria’s seeming aversion to competitive baseball. If the Marlins cared, they could have done a few relatively minor things over the past couple of years to have put them in a better position to have finished ahead of the Braves. But they didn’t. If the Marlins cared, the Braves wouldn’t have their new manager or their new second baseman, each of whom they acquired basically painlessly. But they didn’t. Thanks Feesh!

Florida Marlins: This is a stretch, because really, there’s nothing great about being a Marlins fan at the moment, but let’s try this: thanks to Jeff Loria for bringing back Edwin Rodriguez to manage on a one year contract next year. Yes, it will almost certainly lead to an unceremonious and likely unfair firing of Rodriguez next winter, but it will likely be to bring in Loria man-crush Ozzie Guillen, who wants desperately to manage in Florida.  I’m not sure that will make the baseball any better because Loria will still be a skinflint, but Guillen is great fun, ain’t he?

New York Mets: Alderson. Alderson. Alderson. Alderson. Alderson.  There is finally an adult in charge.

Washington Nationals: The anticipation. Remember all that fun you had waiting for Stephen Strasburg to make the team? Now you can do it again with Bryce Harper! And once he’s up and established, you can wait for Strasburg to come back! And if Harper figures out a way to injure himself, the process can start all over again. Really, we’re one bad slip on a wet sidewalk away from the Nats being in the process of waiting for superstars until both superstars are old enough to be thinking about how to get the hell out of Washington.

  1. yankeesfanlen - Nov 25, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    There’s that beagle again!

    • Glenn - Nov 25, 2010 at 9:08 PM

      See, it’s a mid-1960’s beagle. Totally domesticated and cooking in the kitchen.

  2. lessick - Nov 25, 2010 at 1:16 PM

    I’ll admit it–I’m reading and this beats Lions or Cowboys. Now all I need is a trade or a free agent signing to save this turkey of a sports day.

  3. Old Gator - Nov 25, 2010 at 2:24 PM

    I’ve cued up my digitally remastered dead director’s cut DVDs of King Kong, Son of Kong and Mighty Joe Young. Giant apes are smarter than linebackers, and if they’re animated by O’Brien and Harryhausen, have a wider range of facial expressions too. My beloved wife is out of commission two days after dental surgery and her Native American Extermination Day dinner will consist of yogurt, Bird’s Custard, apple sauce and maybe a protein smoothie or two. My son was up all night emailing his girlfriend in Massachusetts back and forth so he’s going to sleep through the whole thing. When he does wake up we’re going to watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest together and I might let him drink his first beer. My older son is probably throwing a Thanksgiving cricket to his tarantula, and my eldest is already celebrating having his stepdaughter leave for college with a crab dinner in Baltimore. My daughter is in London, where she’s chief guide for the Titanic centennial exhibit at the O2 Dome, and she’s probably going to have a tandoori Thanksgiving because she’s so sick of Dover sole by now. I know the English don’t have four years of aboriginal genocide to celebrate, but maybe they can gesture towards the extermination of the Neanderthals by their Cro-Magnon forebears or something.

    I just got done peeling three dozen chestnuts for the stuffing which is about as much fun as having hemorrhoids cauterized.

    Once more with feeling: and don’t thkimp on the pah-ey.

    • fquaye149 - Nov 25, 2010 at 5:26 PM

      Old Gator, I’m glad you realize there are only 3 real monsters: Dracula, Blackula, and Son of Kong

      • Old Gator - Nov 25, 2010 at 9:41 PM

        Huh? Son of Kong was a poosykat. Sweet little thang with his bandaged finger. No. Godzilla (Gojira if overdubbing hurts your eyes) is still the once and future King of the Monsters. Never forget what Ogata told Serizawa: you have your fear, which might become reality, and you have Godzilla, which is reality.

  4. Jonny 5 - Nov 25, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    I would like to give thanks to HBT and it’s Hosts. It’s been a good year for baseball, and made better through this blog. Good Job guys, and thanks a bunch. Here’s to another season of strong competition most of the time, and sometimes not so much… Go Phills!!

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