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The clubhouse leader for ballpark concession of 2011

Dec 17, 2010, 1:47 PM EDT

Image (1) cookout.jpg for post 6410

A friend of mine once observed that there is no greater source of power in the universe than a bored Midwesterner. It leads to things like this, coming to you at the Akron Aeros ballpark next season:

In 2011, the Akron Aeros will be serving the “Three Dog Night” during each and every home game. It’s a hot dog stuffed inside a brat stuffed inside a kielbasa, placed on a hoagie roll and then slathered with sauerkraut and spicy stadium mustard.

The Aeros play exactly 116 miles from my house. ┬áIf you can’t reach me at any time next summer, you should probably assume that I’m up there ordering Three Dog Nights four at a time.

  1. jasoncollette - Dec 17, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    Joy to the World, that’s quite the item.

  2. BC - Dec 17, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    Akron is an 8-hour drive from my home just north of Hartford. I’ll meet you in line, Craig.

  3. yankeesfanlen - Dec 17, 2010 at 1:53 PM

    You’ll have plenty of gas for the way home, might be the next big idea for a GM hybrid.

  4. lampdwellr - Dec 17, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    “I have a polish sausage wrapped around my heart.”

  5. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Dec 17, 2010 at 2:07 PM

    Wrap that thing in bacon, coat with batter, deep fry, dip in mayo-based sauce, call it a life.

    • Bochy's Head/Timmy's Bong - Dec 17, 2010 at 3:24 PM

      If I drank Coke, little mucus-covered droplets of it would now be coating my keyboard. IOW, thanks for the laugh.

  6. Jonny 5 - Dec 17, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    I’m starving!!! Why must I be tortured with culinary excellence while I’m starving??!!!! Ugg

  7. skipperxc - Dec 17, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    Who is this friend of yours, Craig? As a bored Midwesterner, I’d love to be able to use him as a citation.

  8. Craig Calcaterra - Dec 17, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    The guy at the top of this org chart.

  9. Brian - Dec 17, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    what? no phallic references? it’s no turducken.

  10. Dug - Dec 17, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    I am in Houston, TX (by force) the center of the universe for fried food and overweight people. I will drive, Craig, meet you at the game and BUY. With apologies to my mother, who was truly the worlds finest cook and chef, and who would have taken a bullet before allowing me to eat that culinary delight described above.

  11. Richard In Big D - Dec 17, 2010 at 3:33 PM

    Craig, you know where I am, and even though Dug is a little further than me, and even though this seems like the kind of thing I’d love to have in my gullett, I don’t think it’s really worth the drive. I will, however, gladly send you a pre-paid FedEx box, some zip-locs and dry ice, if you would be so kind as to purchase, package and drop some off at the nearest Kinko’s.

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