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The Yankees sign Luis Vizcaino

Dec 20, 2010, 6:22 AM EDT

Luis Vizcaino

Gotta hand it to the Yankees: they really know how to counter a move.  The Phillies get Cliff Lee? Bam! New York gets Mark Prior.  The Brewers snag Zack Greinke? Bam! New Yorks signs Luis Vizcaino.

OK, that’s not fair. I know those moves aren’t in response to anything and would have happened anyway.  I do think their timing is kind of amusing, though, because it makes me imagine an alternative reality in which the Yankees are barely able to stay afloat, live off of scrap-heap signings and bank everything on lighting-in-a-bottle performances. In this mini-fantasy, Brian Cashman  transforms from his current self preaching patience about the team’s offseason plans into a 20-year older version of himself, more disheveled, pleading with Yankees fans to have patience because it takes a lot of time to build a winning team.

Yeah, I have lame fantasies.

Anyway, Vizcaino used to be with the Yankees and is late of Cleveland, where he hasn’t pitched in the majors since June 2009. His top end is probably garbage-time middle-reliever, the sort of which rarely if ever get their own posts here at HBT.

But hey, if it gives me an opportunity to imagine the Yankees as a struggling mid-market team in the middle of its third five-year plan in the past decade it’s totally worth it.

  1. jfk69 - Dec 20, 2010 at 6:48 AM

    Cashman..
    You can sign me up. I think I fit the bill.
    Haven’t pitched competively in 20 years.
    Possess tremendous upside at a relativily cheap cost
    Will pitch batting practice and garbage time without a peep
    Have a bona fide out pitch. Albeit it is the epus pitch.
    Can throw the folly floater better than Steve Hamilton ever could.
    Good locker room and team guy.
    Don’t gamble or take peds. I do take advil on a regular basis.
    Will sign for less than 7 years
    H

    • BC - Dec 20, 2010 at 9:20 AM

      Oh Lord, Steve Hamilton? Wow. Next thing you know someone will post a Rip Sewell tribute.

  2. Jason @ IIATMS - Dec 20, 2010 at 7:56 AM

    It reminds me of the signings of Smoltz, Penny, etc. by the RedSox a few years ago. Sign the maligned, oft-injured, infirmed and the aged and see which one’s doctor is better than the others.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Dec 20, 2010 at 8:42 AM

      And then get a no-talent hack like Pearlmann to write about how good the signings are, and how they’ll perform better than the high paid players?

  3. proudlycanadian - Dec 20, 2010 at 8:52 AM

    I am shocked by this latest signing. They let Kerry Wood sign with the Cubs for a pittance and replaced him with Vizcaino. The rest of the AL East is quivering!

    • Alex K - Dec 20, 2010 at 9:19 AM

      I don’t think they “let” Wood sign anywhere. He really wanted to live in Chicago (he lives there in the offseason, and his wife is from there).

    • Kevin S. - Dec 20, 2010 at 9:20 AM

      They didn’t “let” Wood do anything – he rejected much higher offers to return to Chicago.

  4. BC - Dec 20, 2010 at 9:18 AM

    I’m overweight, out of shape, can maybe crack 70 on the gun, and have a decent knuckleball. Sign me, Brian, sign me!

  5. jfk69 - Dec 20, 2010 at 9:58 AM

    Cashman
    Here is a video of what you can expect when I pitch. They crawl back to dugout on all fours.
    Please make your decision soon as I have been contacted by Sandy Alderson as a possible starter.
    Willing to leave money on the table to pitch for the Yankees.

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