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Minions: stand down

Jan 5, 2011, 3:36 PM EDT

Nixon China

Jeff Pearlman wrote something reasonable and reflective over at his personal blog in the wake of this morning’s nonsense. Go read it.

Jeff: you have no need to apologize to me, though I do appreciate the gesture. You believe what you believe and I believe what I believe and the last thing I think anyone should do is to hold back if they feel passionate about something. I don’t think you crossed any lines in what you wrote.

That said, I agree with a lot of the sentiment of Pearlman’s post.  I get into a lot of little scrapes like this because that’s just how I’m wired. I think Jeff does too, because that’s how he’s wired.  It happens. And it’s just sports, so it’s worth taking a moment for perspective once in a while.

I think Jeff and I still disagree pretty vehemently about a lot of issues, but it’s nice when people can disagree and be polite about it.  I don’t always succeed at that, and I’m not happy with myself when I don’t live up to the standards to which I aspire.  I think Jeff probably feels the same way.

(psst! Minions: please leave a number where you can be reached if I need you, OK?)

*And no, I have no idea if I’m Nixon or Mao in that pic. I just wanted a picture of a couple of people who could be civil with one another when necessary despite the worst parts of their nature and stuff. Please don’t read anything into it.

  1. Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    Hey, waddya know? Lord Calcaterra of Minionsota is an old softy!!!!

  2. jkcalhoun - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    If I must, I will resign my minionhood in order to view Pearlman’s post less generously than Craig has here. Pearlman claims to strive for intellectual discourse instead of what he calls “screaming”, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

    But I will nevertheless respect our moratorium on minion missions of merciless mockery.

  3. IdahoMariner - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    aw, maaaaaannnnnnnn.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:00 PM

      And I just ordered my outfit!

  4. sdelmonte - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    Here’s my number: 41. (If my softball teams ever gets its act together and gets uniforms, that is.)

  5. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:48 PM

    You are so Chairman Mao. Mao had minions, Nixon did not.

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:50 PM

      No…Nixon had lackeys and burglars.

      • jkcalhoun - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:19 PM

        Those were Plumbers.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:24 PM

        Mario and Luigi?

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:25 PM

        Oh, THAT’S right!!!! Thank God for Forrest Gump, though, because otherwise they never would have gotten the electricity restored over there.

  6. Joe Tetreault - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    You may reach me at 867-5309. Jenny says hello.

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:53 PM

      Damn you and my slow-ass interwebs connection!!!!

      • Joe Tetreault - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:05 PM

        You may damn me, but leave AT&T out of it.

    • Jonny 5 - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:41 PM

      HA!!! that took me 4 minutes to get. I still had mustard in my pants when that song came out so I have an excuse…

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:48 PM

        Admit it…you spent those four minutes cleaning mustard out of your pants, didn’t you?

  7. Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Alright…I’ll do it. Craig, my number is 867-5309.

  8. spudchukar - Jan 5, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    I’m pretty sure Haldemann, Ehrlichman, Hunt, and Liddy fall into the minion category. But good reminder on the ol’ social discourse meme. Never hurts to aspire to higher ground in the blogosphere, not that we are nearing the summit of Everest or anything.

    • Old Gator - Jan 5, 2011 at 9:54 PM

      Ron Ziegler? Or is his minionhood inoperative?

  9. Jonny 5 - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    Can I still be in charge of the torture chamber? I was really looking forward to that. I already have a call into “the machine” Pat Burrell, he’s going to be my top punisher. Hey, he already has the uniform…

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:58 PM

      Watching Pat the Bat can be quite torturous at times, can’t it?

      • Jonny 5 - Jan 5, 2011 at 7:13 PM

        Yes, and as “the machine” he’s even worse..

  10. thinman61 - Jan 5, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    Just flash the bat signal here on HBT, and the Minion Army will be on the march.

  11. motherscratcher23 - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    I don’t know, dude. It’s a nice gesture and all but…

    Are you really buying that Jeff Pearlman first heard about you a few days ago?

    Maybe he heard about you from that new kid at ESPN that I just caught wind off. Rob Neyer. Have you heard of that guy yet? Shows promise.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:13 PM

      Actually, considering that we’ve been Facebook friends for over a year — he having friended me, not vice-versa — and given that he has emailed me on multiple occasions (and as early as 2007) to complain about things I’ve written about him — I’m guessing he has heard of me before.

      But I’ll let it slide.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:25 PM


      • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:47 PM

        As I said, Lord Calcaterra of Minionsota is an old softy. Unless he’s secretly plotting to unleash the Mookster and Oil Can upon Pearlman.

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:54 PM

        But where is the hard EVIDENCE of this alleged prior acquaintance?

      • dondbaseball - Jan 5, 2011 at 6:25 PM

        Letting it slide means you won’t mention it but considering you did, it must bother you a bit. As noted, we all love your passion, humor and links to the news on baseball but at times you go heavy handed with ridicule and derision of various writers and scribes. As evident by your mea culpa above, you have very good skills that you ignore when presenting your case instead choosing the aforementioned ridicule and that then leads to the “minions” persona as most people like adding their wit to the fray. You have wonderful insights at times and I just wish I could see more that as while I don’t agree with you on 50% of what you say, you do make me think about my position on those subjects and in this case Bagwell. I am more curious about his purporte Andro usage and his comments on it before I can determine my stance on his candidacy. Any thoughts on what the one commenter relayed about that?

      • motherscratcher23 - Jan 5, 2011 at 8:02 PM

        To be fair dond, I was the one who pointed it out and asked about Pearlman’s curious claim.

  12. Chipmaker - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    So, when is Pearlman going to dig and dig and dig on Bagwell? What might he come up with? One unsubstantiated laugh-off comment from a contemporary player? Yeah, that’s the pillar to stand upon when discarding “innocent until proven guilty”.

  13. uyf1950 - Jan 5, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    I have to say that at a very quick glance of the picture of Jeff on that piece he reminds me of the baby commercial for etrade where the baby is sitting at a computer and upchucks and then he go wow.

  14. Jason @ IIATMS - Jan 5, 2011 at 6:02 PM

    Remember, it takes 10 minions to make a minyan

    • phukyouk - Jan 5, 2011 at 6:33 PM

      WIN! I was going to say that but figured none reading this would get it.

      • Jason @ IIATMS - Jan 5, 2011 at 9:17 PM

        In the immortal words of Warren G and Nate Dogg: Tribe members*, mount up.

        *or Regulators. one or the other

  15. crankyfrankie - Jan 5, 2011 at 6:03 PM

    I am glad I held off on the official minion tattoo.

    • ta192 - Jan 5, 2011 at 10:53 PM

      You would have REALLY been cranky if you’d rushed right and gotten yours, wouldn’t you?

  16. Kanonen80 - Jan 6, 2011 at 12:47 PM

    Is it okay if I hang on to the sharks I ordered for the Shark Tank? Because I don’t think they are returnable…

  17. dirtyharry1971 - Jan 9, 2011 at 3:11 AM

    Well Pearlman is TOTALLY USELESS as a writer, i mean this guy is just angry cause he got beat up too many times at the bus stop, anyone with a ounce of common sense can see that and why SI continues to pay this guy just blows my mind and makes me see what a joke SI really is. On the other hand Craig is also a little angry boy who obviously hates the Yankees and really doesnt bring anything to the table but at least i dont think anyone is paying him the bucks Pearlman is getting!! I think they both should have a duel and im hoping the lesser of two evils wins here so im going for you Craig

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