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Your Opening Day couch potato planning guide

Jan 6, 2011, 2:01 PM EDT

old TV

ESPN has announced its Opening Day triple header: Detroit in the Bronx to face the Yankees early, San Diego at St. Louis later and the Giants in L.A. to play the Dodgers to round out the evening.  That Giants-Dodgers series wasn’t supposed to kick off until the next day, but the league moved it up to March 31st.

I’m guessing there’s college basketball going down that day too, but if you watch the tournament instead of Opening Day, you and I probably can’t be friends anymore.

UPDATE:  OK, a bunch of you have told me that there are no games on 3/31 as it’s a couple of days before Final Four weekend.  I still don’t think we can be friends if you watch that instead of weekend baseball games, though, OK?

  1. spudchukar - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    What is basketball?

    • Michael - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:13 PM

      It’s something they use to fill empty dates at hockey arenas.

    • Richard In Big D - Jan 6, 2011 at 4:44 PM

      It’s baseball, but with a couple of wrenches (a “K” and a “T”) thrown into the gearbox.

  2. yankeesfanlen - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    Verlander will still have his head in a grapefruit, first CC win before April, 7-4. Suzyn complaining about the temperature.
    The world is new!

  3. jkcalhoun - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:20 PM

    Can’t get here soon enough.

  4. Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    No worries, minions. Lord Calcaterra of Minionsota will not be defriending you—Jeff Pearlman, you’re on your own. The Final Four is Saturday, April 2. The Elite Eight is therefore, the preceding Saturday and . So, no Big Dance contests to conflict with Opening Day, either Thursday or Friday.

    • jkcalhoun - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:26 PM

      What is this Big Dance of which you speak? Perhaps a Box Social, as told by famed baseball fiction author W.P. Kinsella?

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:32 PM

        A bunch of guys in shorts and tank(ish) tops running up and down a wooden court, and trying to get large balls into hoops 10 feet up in the air.

      • jkcalhoun - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:45 PM

        And this is known as a Dance in some culture? Whoever they are, they need to get out more.

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:50 PM

        “And this is known as a Dance in some culture?”

        As is slamming into each other in mosh pits, so…?

        Besides, only one of the 65 teams involved end up dancing at the end, so it’s a bit of a misnomer.

      • jkcalhoun - Jan 6, 2011 at 4:02 PM

        What a wondrous custom that must be, there on the island of the Big Dance. I say that as a member of an enlightened culture, the Baseball Culture, in which we have learned to avoid denigrating the customs of — what shall we call it? — another culture. Excessively.

    • Jonny 5 - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:30 PM

      Going to see Eagles battle the Cheesy poofs this sunday UT?

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:35 PM

        Well, Cartman, I’ll probably be on the road during the game, but I’ll be surfing the dial looking for radio coverage. No worries, though—I was driving for FredEx’s 4th-and-26 a few years back. What about you?

      • Jonny 5 - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:07 PM

        I’ll be there. And after freezing my tail off to watch the Vikes whoop up on them it should be better. I’ll be dressed like a eskimo this time.

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:36 PM

        And to think…if they had actually shown up for the game against the Norsemen, they would have off this weekend, and not playing their third game in 12 days.

      • Jonny 5 - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:48 PM

        I know…….. I swear Andy threw that game on purpose. For some reason…… How do you not call any running plays and expect to win with people squashing your QB on blitzes every play?

  5. twinsfn343 - Jan 6, 2011 at 2:23 PM

    why doesnt mlb tweak the schedule so that the defending champs get to play opening day at home in primetime every year? i think the whole ring ceremony and pennant unveiling would be a cool tradition to start.

    • Michael - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:30 PM

      That would involve changing games/sites for up to 4 teams, and often other events are scheduled for a ballpark’s unused dates months or years in advance.

      • twinsfn343 - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:52 PM

        you’re saying mlb can’t wait 2 more weeks before releasing the schedule or just swap a home and home series with whatever team the WS champions are playing? The Giants and Dodgers play 6 home and home series and its not possible to swap 2 of them? The Spring Training schedule was only released a month ago, and some teams dont even game times set for the regular season still.

  6. Old Gator - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:14 PM

    Popcorn or absinthe? Hmmmm….

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:44 PM

      Definitely absinthe. I’ll take a shot in your honor as well.

  7. sportsdrenched - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    Finally a crowd that won’t look at me funny when learning that I like to listen/watch Exihbition Baseball over the NCAA Tournament. In Fact, I will watch/listen to College Baseball over College Hoops.

    College Hoops is a crutch some of use to get from football season to baseball season.

    • Jonny 5 - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:35 PM

      Use beer, It’s more satisfying.

      • sportsdrenched - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:41 PM

        Beer is like gravity, it’s always around.

        You make it sound like you quit drinking beer when the season starts. Which we know is a lie!

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:45 PM

        I got some beers! LET’S DRINK ‘EM!

      • Jonny 5 - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:46 PM

        Well, you’re right. It’s all I can say… last weekend I watched 8 men out again, and pretended it was really a game going on. And the beer did make it easier… This saturday? Pride of the Yankees I guess…

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:47 PM

        Absinthe…beer…pie…you’re nothin’ but a lush.

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 3:46 PM

      I generally roll up in the fetal position and rock myself back and forth—taking short breaks for drinking—until baseball is back. Although the Flyers may give me a chance to just drink. It’s a damn shame that there’s nothing after college hoops for these kids—they could use some sort of professional league or something.

      • sportsdrenched - Jan 6, 2011 at 4:15 PM

        MLB Gameday Audio is good all year. If I’m really hard up I’ll pick a random game to listen to from the previous season. I don’t know what happens or the score, so it’s like a new game. Yeah that’s sad I know.

  8. yankeesfanlen - Jan 6, 2011 at 4:12 PM

    Just to keep the flow topical, Craig, I hope you supported Ted Williams when he was panhandling in front of Lowe’s. After all, there must have been a lot of renovations needed for that fabulous HBT set.

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 4:30 PM

      All the improvements that set needs is more Tiffany and less pasty, follicularly challenged guys.

  9. Utley's Hair - Jan 6, 2011 at 4:26 PM

    “UPDATE: OK, a bunch of you have told me that there are no games on 3/31 as it’s a couple of days before Final Four weekend. I still don’t think we can be friends if you watch that instead of weekend baseball games, though, OK?”

    Wow…so much hate from a guy who delayed posting due to watching college football games over the last few months.

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