Comments on: I’ll take “Things that may impact Andy Pettitte’s decision” for $100, Alex

By: Utley's Hair

Utley's Hair — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 19:18:19 +0000

Mystery team? Nope. Mystery meat, maybe.

By: BC

BC — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 18:15:33 +0000

Maybe there’s a mystery team involved.

By: Panda Claus

Panda Claus — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:45:17 +0000

Sean Connery, you have the board.
Alex, I’ll take The Rapist for $100.

By: Utley's Hair

Utley's Hair — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 16:05:34 +0000

Ring ring…

Andy Pettitte: “Hello?”
Ruben Amaro Jr.: “Hi, Andy. It’s Ruben—no, not the sandwich, the GM of the Phillies.”
AP: “Hi, Rube. What can I do for you?”
RAJ: “Not what you can do for me, but what I can do for you. Look out your window. We have Cliffy now. And all this can be yours, too. All you have to do is sign on the line, and switch your blue pinstripes for red.”

By: Utley's Hair

Utley's Hair — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:57:36 +0000

Mmmm…15,000 pounds of beef fat…laaahhhlllll…D’OH!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: rmalmstrom

rmalmstrom — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:54:20 +0000

The title made me think of SNL. “Give me Ape Tit for $200.”

By: BC

BC — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:49:53 +0000

Not all sportswriters. Just this one. I still wish Bonilla had ripped him in half that one time.

By: jkcalhoun

jkcalhoun — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:48:00 +0000

Merely a flesh wound.

By: sdelmonte

sdelmonte — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:38:47 +0000

Why must we persist in insulting the noble Chipwich by comparing it with sportswriters?

By: churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged

churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:37:42 +0000

“ruptured storage tank”, isn’t that what kept Beltre out of commission a few years ago?

By: BC

BC — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:36:50 +0000

Klapisch is a chipwich.

By: Panda Claus

Panda Claus — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:28:58 +0000

Would a beef-fat-filled waterway smell all that differently than bacon fat? If not, then there’s the answer. How many men can seriously turn away from bacon?

By: Jonny 5

Jonny 5 — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:21:39 +0000

I have a theory. And it’s just as good as above.

He was soooo looking forward to pitching with Cliff Lee (cash said it was a done deal, don’t worry Andy), that he is now in discussions with the Phillies to pitch for them in 2011. I say he signs for unlimited Gino’s steaks for 1 year, with a team option for 2012 for the same deal, but to upgrade to provolone cheese for 2012. The buy out? 1 year of All you can eat Bassett’s ice cream to help him get over it.

By: Ralph

Ralph — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:21:22 +0000

Damn. HTML fail. Let's try this one more time.

By: Ralph

Ralph — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:18:33 +0000

Are we sure that the 15,000 gallons of beef fat isn't just Roger Clemens? We've all seen what Roger looks like lately.

By: jkcalhoun

jkcalhoun — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:08:24 +0000

Roger melts at courtroom temperature.

By: jkcalhoun

jkcalhoun — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:07:10 +0000

I’ve heard of phantom injuries for the purpose of making roster moves before, but “ruptured storage tank” is in a class by itself.

By: yankeesfanlen

yankeesfanlen — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 14:06:41 +0000

Can anyone tell the difference between being next to beef-fat and being next to Roger Clemens?