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Stop me if you’ve heard this one: the Twins are close to signing Carl Pavano

Jan 19, 2011, 11:07 AM EST

Carl Pavano

Apparently the Twins and Pavano have almost reached a deal.

Twins and Pavano are very close to a new deal, working on final details. Bill Smith said today, “I think we’re in the home stretch here.”

This is not a repeat from last month. Or last week. Though I have very little faith that it won’t be repeated multiple times in the future.

For those of you tired of reading stories about this, I have obtained exclusive video of Bill Smith’s comments about the Pavano negotiations. The part of Smith is played by Red Leader.

  1. billybeaneismyhero - Jan 19, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    Oh my god. Will he just shoot at the damn target! I can’t take it anymore!

  2. Utley's Hair - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    this seems vaguely familiar…

  3. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    Carl will never be a top FA ever again. Let him take his time and enjoy this.

    • Utley's Hair - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM

      His mustache and the “almost there” clip made me think of what I picture a really bad 70s porno as being like.

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:17 PM

        And you can’t tell me he isn’t saying something in that picture that a corsair wouldn’t say.

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:23 PM

        Something akin to shivering timbers and wood legs?

    • billybeaneismyhero - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:41 PM

      That statement implies that he’s a big free agent now. Don’t big free agents typically have multiple suitors and receive contracts of at least three years? Just saying…

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:54 PM

        He is a big free agent now, in that he’s currently the best pitcher available after having two great back-to-back seasons.

  4. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 19, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    And he probably called the batter he just struck out a “scurvy dog.”

    • yankeesfanlen - Jan 19, 2011 at 1:18 PM

      Am I missing “Talk Like A Pirate” day or something?

      • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Jan 19, 2011 at 1:22 PM

        Haha – refer to his picture.

      • Utley's Hair - Jan 19, 2011 at 2:23 PM

        Yoho, yoho…or is this the wrong post for that?

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