Jan 24, 2011, 6:23 AM EDT
So hey, you catch the game last night? This giant dude in spandex pants totally threw a ball made of dead pork skin at another dude in shiny pants and then he ran super fast across a bunch of painted lines while more shiny-pant-wearing dudes chased him and leapt for his glistening spandex buttocks until he eventually crossed this other line which is apparently magical and makes the crowd stand up, bump chests, and clink bud-lights with each other. PIGGERS ARE NUMBER ONE! PIGGERS ARE GONNA GO ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR!*
At least that’s what I took from yesterday. Maybe I’m just not getting it. Oh well.
- I continue to not believe that someone not only took Vernon Wells and his contract, but that someone actually sent valuable players back to Toronto for him. It’s always possible that Wells wins the Triple Crown this year and carries the Angels to a world title, but really: is there any trade that, at the time it happened, looked worse than this one?
- Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon are now Rays. Pfun Pfact: Jeff Francoeur will make more money in 2011 than Manny will. Chew on that one for a while.
- There is on and off talk about Vlad Guerrero going to Baltimore. I’m not sure where else he would go, really.
- The Blue Jays have close to zero in salary obligations for 2012. Pujols! Pujols! Pujols! (sorry, just trying to rile up Cardinals fans).
- Sparky Anderson’s number is going to be retired by the Tigers. Better late than never.
- This says it all about the Jays-Angels trade.
- Nolan Ryan predicts 90 wins for the Rangers. 50 of them will come against the Angels, I gather.
- Pro Tip: when a casino tells you to leave, you had better leave.
- Some great personal musings by our own Drew Silva.
- Papelbon is apparently on the block. Before Friday I would have said that his contract made him untradeable, but we now know that no contract is untradeable.
Kind of a short list, but the rest of the weekend news involved some tepid Armando Galarraga trade rumors and some random arbitration-avoiding signings. Not the kind of stuff that excites a man. Oh well. Pitchers and catchers report in three weeks. We can tough it out until then, right?
*This, of course, comes from the greatest cartoon ever written about working at home.
- Zack Wheeler goes six scoreless innings in MLB debut 8
- The San Jose lawsuit against Major League Baseball should be thrown out of court 38
- San Jose sues Major League Baseball, challenging its monopoly power 26
- Original Biogenesis source: “the people running Major League Baseball are the biggest scumbags on Earth” 41
- Brian Cashman calls out Yankees hitting coach Kevin Long 52
- MLB hands down the suspensions for Tuesday night’s Dodgers-Diamondbacks melee (111)
- Neil deGrasse Tyson explains why beanball wars are stupid (104)
- Democrats beat the Republicans 22-0 in the Congressional Baseball Game (98)
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights (97)
- And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights (88)
- Heat rally to beat Spurs in Game 6
- PBT: After blowing lead, can Spurs rebound in Game 7?
- PST: On-fire Altidore lifts USA over Honduras in WCQ
- CSN: Patriots' Hernandez questioned in murder investigation
- CSN: Celtics-Clippers KG, Rivers trade talks dead
- HBT: Mets' Wheeler goes six scoreless in MLB debut
- Lolo Jones' attempt at humor backfires