Jan 24, 2011, 6:23 AM EDT
So hey, you catch the game last night? This giant dude in spandex pants totally threw a ball made of dead pork skin at another dude in shiny pants and then he ran super fast across a bunch of painted lines while more shiny-pant-wearing dudes chased him and leapt for his glistening spandex buttocks until he eventually crossed this other line which is apparently magical and makes the crowd stand up, bump chests, and clink bud-lights with each other. PIGGERS ARE NUMBER ONE! PIGGERS ARE GONNA GO ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR!*
At least that’s what I took from yesterday. Maybe I’m just not getting it. Oh well.
- I continue to not believe that someone not only took Vernon Wells and his contract, but that someone actually sent valuable players back to Toronto for him. It’s always possible that Wells wins the Triple Crown this year and carries the Angels to a world title, but really: is there any trade that, at the time it happened, looked worse than this one?
- Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon are now Rays. Pfun Pfact: Jeff Francoeur will make more money in 2011 than Manny will. Chew on that one for a while.
- There is on and off talk about Vlad Guerrero going to Baltimore. I’m not sure where else he would go, really.
- The Blue Jays have close to zero in salary obligations for 2012. Pujols! Pujols! Pujols! (sorry, just trying to rile up Cardinals fans).
- Sparky Anderson’s number is going to be retired by the Tigers. Better late than never.
- This says it all about the Jays-Angels trade.
- Nolan Ryan predicts 90 wins for the Rangers. 50 of them will come against the Angels, I gather.
- Pro Tip: when a casino tells you to leave, you had better leave.
- Some great personal musings by our own Drew Silva.
- Papelbon is apparently on the block. Before Friday I would have said that his contract made him untradeable, but we now know that no contract is untradeable.
Kind of a short list, but the rest of the weekend news involved some tepid Armando Galarraga trade rumors and some random arbitration-avoiding signings. Not the kind of stuff that excites a man. Oh well. Pitchers and catchers report in three weeks. We can tough it out until then, right?
*This, of course, comes from the greatest cartoon ever written about working at home.
- Dodgers announce Vin Scully will return for 2015 season 4
- Jon Lester scratched Wednesday amid trade speculation 7
- Rays are “talking and willing” to trade ace lefty David Price; Cardinals and Dodgers interested 27
- Phillies wanted Joc Pederson, Corey Seager, and Julio Urias from Dodgers for Cole Hamels 58
- Matt Cain is going to pay a visit to Dr. Andrews 4
- The Nationals and Orioles dispute over TV money is about to explode 78
- The Red Sox are expected to deal Jon Lester and the Pirates are a “dark horse” 36
- And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights 49
- Expert’s Corner: How to troll fans of all 30 teams (201)
- “Caucasians” t-shirts are hot sellers on Canadian Indian reservations (189)
- Verducci: baseball should think about an “illegal defense” rule to combat shifts (165)
- Must-click link: sexual depravity — and possibly rape — in the minor leagues (101)
- Ray Rice is awful, but let’s not pretend baseball has a great record on domestic violence (91)