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Baseball player reports to camp in the fourth best shape of his life

Feb 17, 2011, 4:34 PM EST

Spring training

I suppose a satire like this was inevitable.  I’m just sad that I didn’t think of it first:

Seattle Mariners veteran catcher Miguel Olivo reported to training camp this week feeling as though he is already physically ready for the 2011 season.

“I’m in the fourth best shape of my life,” said a sort of noticeably trim Olivo. “Last year I was only in the 11th best shape of my life, so I really put time in the gym this offseason. I wanted to get into the top 5 shapes of my life.”

Olivo entered his offseason workout regimen hoping to get into the best shape of his life, but soon realized that wasn’t realistic.

Now I await the ones about guys who didn’t have “great bullpen sessions” and guys who “looked real bad in the cage today.”

  1. phukyouk - Feb 17, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    how does one determine 4th best?

  2. jsarge99 - Feb 17, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    This was the 17th best joke I’ve heard all day.

  3. spudchukar - Feb 17, 2011 at 6:58 PM

    I have a new hero. I will follow the progress of Miguel Olivo with new found interest. Boy, does this ever come at exactly the right moment with all horror I have been forced to swallow over the past couple of days.

  4. apbaguy - Feb 17, 2011 at 7:54 PM

    Very funny. No follow on about how Olivo is valued for keeping the clubhouse loose?

  5. cur68 - Feb 17, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Mike Cameron and Jose Olivo as a Vegas lounge act comedy team. You’ll laugh till you barf.

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