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Miguel Cabrera’s arrest was ugly

Feb 17, 2011, 11:00 AM EDT

Miguel Cabrera mugshot

If you’re goin’ down, go down with dignity.  Miguel Cabrera was either uwilling or simply unable to do that when he was arrested last night.

According to the TC Palm, Cabrera made reference to another person — who was not on the scene — saying “I’m going (expletive) kill him.”  Then he played the “do you know who I am?” card which is never good.   But it got worse:

A deputy reported Cabrera was put in handcuffs after not following orders. Cabrera also “kept running out in the road with his hands up.”

A deputy asked Cabrera to get his a patrol vehicle, and he said, “(Expletive) you.”

Miguel Cabrera pushed off a vehicle into a deputy, who “delivered 3-4 knee spikes” into Cabrera’s left thigh.

The police report described Cabrera as “belligerent, cocky, combative and argumentative.”  He was charged with resisting an officer without violence.

Notably, Cabrera refused the breath test.  The legal advice surrounding that is more complicated than many believe, and the “never ever take a breathalyser test ” advice you often hear casually passed around isn’t always the right move.

But to the extent not taking a breath test is the smart play, it’s only because by doing so the police have to establish that you were intoxicated by other means.  When you drink from an open bottle, run into traffic, slur your speech and cuss out the cops, well, the game is pretty much up my friend.

  1. bigxrob - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    he went from combative in the street to happy go lucky in the mug shot? Nice work by him.

    • Utley's Hair - Feb 17, 2011 at 1:01 PM

      The uppers he washed down with the Scotch kicked in.

      • Rosenthals Speling Instrukter - Feb 17, 2011 at 4:28 PM

        Maybe “Knee spikes” is police vernacular for uppers.

  2. yankeesfanlen - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:06 AM

    Guess he also forgot that he wasn’t in Birmingham MI.

  3. Jeremiah Graves - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    Maybe he did this to ensure that there would be no distractions surrounding Albert “My Contract Squabble Just Got Relegated to the Back Pages” Pujols this spring…what a swell fella!

  4. stmccull - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:19 AM

    A bit off-topic, but now I’m curious. Can you say more about the “refuse a breathalyzer” strategy? Like, when it would be a good idea to take one if you think you’re pretty drunk?

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:23 AM

      Are you drunk driving right now? If so, I’m impressed that you managed to post this at the same time, but still, keep your eyes on the road fella!

    • ngearhart1981 - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:26 AM

      All I know is that in Missouri, refusing a breathalyzer can lose you your driver’s license for a year automatically.

      • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:35 AM

        CT is in the same boat, although I think it’s an automatic 90 day (6 mo?) suspension for refusal.

      • clydeserra - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:37 PM

        in CA you can refuse the curbside test, but must submit to blood/urine/breath test that is provided at the police station or hospital. Refusal is a suspension of your license.

      • aaronmoreno - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:55 PM

        In Cali, refusal to take an alcohol test will result in a one year suspension of your license. You can elect to take a blood instead of breath test, however. If you refuse a test a second time, lifetime suspension. They don’t mess around.

  5. stmccull - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    Drunk, and texting, and it’s not even noon yet. It’s gonna be a heck of a day!

  6. ngearhart1981 - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:25 AM

    “Cabrera also “kept running out in the road with his hands up.””
    Ricky: “Oh, my god! Help me! I don’t wanna die! Oh, stop, drop and roll!”
    Rescue Worker: “You’re not on fire, Ricky Bobby!”
    Ricky: “I’m on fire!”
    Rescue Worker: “You’re not on fire!”

  7. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:31 AM

    Thanks for the fantasy team name ideas and pic Miguel. Much, much appreciated.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:38 AM

      Someone needs to adopt the I Love Cocaine meme and photoshop I love Alcohol on that sweet mugshot.

      http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-i-fucking-love-cocaine-bear

    • thegoche - Feb 17, 2011 at 12:37 PM

      Sadly “belligerent, cocky, combative and argumentative” doesn’t fit on ESPN.

      But I think the picture and team name “Do You Know Who I Am?” is a pretty solid combination for my team, which features as a the keeper cornerstone, one M. Cabrera.

      Last year I was “Registered Pradophiles” but I’m not sure I’ll get him again/want to mix it up a bit. (/felt uncomfortable enough last season with at play on the word pedophile that I didn’t want to keep it)

  8. mplsjoe - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:33 AM

    In Minnesota, you should always take the test. Refusing the test is itself a crime, and it’s usually a worse crime than the DWI (gross misdemeanor vs. misdemeanor). Plus you’re automatically guilty. Great system.

    • ngearhart1981 - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:38 AM

      In Soviet Russia, breathalyzer takes you!

  9. ThatGuy - Feb 17, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    This is not true, Minnesota has a implied consent law. This means you are required to submit to chemical testing, but you can refuse to take the breathalyzer and go for the blood or urine route. Genearlly thats a pain so if your sober, take the breathalyzer. But if your borderline the extra hour to bring ya in and get the blood could help.

    • mplsjoe - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:09 PM

      You cannot refuse to take a breathalyzer if the cop tells you to take one. That’s a test refusal. If the cop offers a blood or urine test, s/he must also an alternative test (breath or blood/urine). Then you get to pick. But if the only choice offered is breath, you have to take the breath.

  10. amr5026 - Feb 17, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    In PA, if you refuse to take a breathalyser, its an auto-suspension of your license for a year. If you are unable to, because of physical reasons, that is one thing. However, flat out refusing to do so is an automatic one year suspension of your license. No questions asked. I wouldn’t say refusing to take a breathalyser is a good course of action at all…

  11. wheatenwade - Feb 17, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    To quote Dean Wormer: “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” (or maybe it is when you are raking in $20 million per year like Miggy)

  12. redheadedbastard - Feb 17, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    Maybe all of the running in the streets and putting his hands up in the air was his way of signaling to the cops he was in the best shape of his life.

    • iftheshoefits2 - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:27 PM

      Annnnnd, we have a winner. Well done, good man. Now if we could only determine if Cabrera loves pie or cake……

  13. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:29 PM

    Poor guy is just trying to do his best Charlie Sheen impression. You forgot the hooker in the closet, Miggy.

  14. cur68 - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    Whatever the hell is up with Miggy, I vote him for Best Performance in a Mug Shot of a Pro Athlete, 2011. He just looks so damn…HAPPY. Cheers me right to my little cotton socks, so he does. I wonder if the camera operator made him look at the little birdie and suggested he smile big? In which case kudos to the camera person; truly a talent that ought to be recognized. I tip my hat to you and pledge you my vote for Mug Shooter of A Pro Athlete, 2011. Keep up the good work. Lemme know when you move on to politicians.

  15. bobwsc - Feb 17, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    why is he wearing doctor’s scrubs and not prison-intake-orange?

    • cur68 - Feb 17, 2011 at 7:24 PM

      At a guess I’d say he puked on his aligator

  16. aronmantoo - Feb 17, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    Some guys just never get it

  17. kingbs - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:23 PM

    A consideration, in British Columbia, a provincial judge who had an accident grabbed a bottle of scotch from his trunk and started drinking. He then successfully argued that the alcohol in his system was from the drink he took “to calm himself down”. The prosecutor couldn’t prove that he was drunk when the accident occurred and he only got charged with impeding an investigation.

    I’m not sure how Florida law works but that could be an approach?

  18. ta192 - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:38 PM

    Hmmmmm, one year suspension…with the kind of money this guy makes he could hire a live in chauffeur for a year and be way ahead of the game…

  19. dirtyharry1971 - Feb 18, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Now if only someone would arrest Craig and save us from these lousy articles he writes! Please god!!

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