Feb 17, 2011, 9:39 AM EST
Pop quiz, hotshot! You pull your car over to the side of the road as the engine smokes. You’re loaded and drinking from a bottle of scotch and you don’t bother to stop when the police officer shows up. You know that you’re less than 12 hours from being the lead story on every sportscast in the country and your teammates and fans giving quotes about how much you let them down. Oh, and the shirt you were wearing was either too gross or barfed on or whatever for the police to continue letting you wear it, so you have on jailhouse scrubs.
Question: how happy are you? Answer:
Wow! Pretty happy! Or just blindingly drunk.
Another possibility, and this is actually serious: There’s a trend out there among defense lawyers to tell their high profile clients to do their best to smile for mugshots for PR purposes. Really. Remember Tom DeLay? It seems nuts, but lawyers know that the mugshot will be spread everywhere, and no one want their client to have their Nick Nolte or James Brown moment if it can be helped.
I bet Cabrera called his lawyer on the way in to the jail and was told to do his best to look presentable. Sadly, the whole jailhouse scrubs thing kills the effect.
- Blue Jays sign Dayan Viciedo to a minor league deal 8
- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 11
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 32
- Francisco Rodriguez re-signs with the Brewers 9
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended 299
- Pirates open to massive extension for Andrew McCutchen 18
- Report: Josh Hamilton had a relapse this offseason that “involved at least cocaine” 86
- Yankees don’t plan on having to pay A-Rod’s $30 million in home run milestone bonuses 51
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (299)
- San Francisco — and all of California — will consider a smokeless tobacco ban that includes MLB parks (131)
- Report: The Yankees were “fuming” at how A-Rod handled his early arrival to spring training (114)
- Cuban prospect Yoan Moncada reportedly signs with the Red Sox for $31.5 million, plus $31.5 million in penalties (106)
- Brian Sabean says that California taxes are a hindrance to the Giants signing free agents (102)