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Miguel Cabrera’s mugshot is … interesting

Feb 17, 2011, 9:39 AM EDT

Pop quiz, hotshot!  You pull your car over to the side of the road as the engine smokes.  You’re loaded and drinking from a bottle of scotch and you don’t bother to stop when the police officer shows up.  You know that you’re less than 12 hours from being the lead story on every sportscast in the country and your teammates and fans giving quotes about how much you let them down.  Oh, and the shirt you were wearing was either too gross or barfed on or whatever for the police to continue letting you wear it, so you have on jailhouse scrubs.

Question:  how happy are you?  Answer:

Wow! Pretty happy!  Or just blindingly drunk.

Another possibility, and this is actually serious:  There’s a trend out there among defense lawyers to tell their high profile clients to do their best to smile for mugshots for PR purposes. Really. Remember Tom DeLay?  It seems nuts, but lawyers know that the mugshot will be spread everywhere, and no one want their client to have their Nick Nolte or James Brown moment if it can be helped.

I bet Cabrera called his lawyer on the way in to the jail and was told to do his best to look presentable.  Sadly, the whole jailhouse scrubs thing kills the effect.

  1. dashtreyhorn - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    You got it wrong, Craig. He’s not wearing jailhouse scrubs. If the camera would pan down another few inches, you’d see that it was emblazoned with a tiger as part of Ed Hardy’s Hideous Clothing for Athletes line.

  2. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:56 AM

    He’s going to hit 75 HRs this year.

  3. kev86 - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:58 AM

    My main in concern is should I pick him no. 3 overall in my fantasy draft or go for someone else.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:59 AM

      Hi draft position number should be higher than his blood alcohol content, so no, not 3. From the look of that picture, you’ll have to let him slip to at least 4 or 5.

    • notjoemorgan - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:07 AM

      When Mickey Mantle got pulled over years ago, times were different, so I’m sure the cop said, “Aw, look. It’s Mickey! Let’s give him a ride home. It’ll be a great story to tell the boys at the precinct.” You didn’t hear about the drinking, but he was still a monstrous hitter.

      Even if Cabrera is drinking, he is a 27 year old monster who will only get better for the next couple of years. Take him number three.

  4. BC - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    Glen Campbell had the best mugshot ever:

    • mcsnide - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:54 AM

      He and Nick Nolte must share a mugshot hair stylist.

  5. rickytan80 - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:55 AM

    If you actually believe that Miguel Cabrera called his agent and was told to smile than you are an idiot. The dude was drunk and just didn’t give a shit.

    • mcsnide - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:02 AM

      +1 for your infallible mind-reading ability coupled with a willingness to insult people without said ability.

  6. largebill - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    On a side note, this shows why pre-season predictions in magazines that go to print four months before opening day are crap. Last week Tigers looked different than they do this morning. At least he is drinking the good stuff. 18 year old Buchanan’s goes for north of $70 a bottle. Though I imagine this particular bottle will have some residual costs.

    • mercyflush - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:13 AM

      how do we know they are jailhouse scrubs? They could be OR scrubs. what if he’s moonlighting as a nurse’s aid? Sipping scotch on his way to surgery?

      • Panda Claus - Feb 17, 2011 at 11:26 AM

        On the way to surgery? Heck, he may have just performed surgery on himself and was just self-anesthetizing.

      • Utley's Hair - Feb 17, 2011 at 12:28 PM

        That’s it!!! He had just performed a self-root canal and was flushing/cleaning the area with alcohol, while it also dulled the pain.

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