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The Yankees are not in the best shape of their lives

Feb 17, 2011, 8:23 AM EST

New York Yankees' Colon throws in the bullpen at the team's spring training camp at George M. Steinbrenner Field in Tampa

Headlines you don’t expect to see in the Wall Street Journal: “Is this the fattest Yankees team ever?” But I gotta admit, the WSJ’s antiquated “Mr.” this and “Mr.” that is particularly comical when it’s basically an article calling everyone fatties:

Everywhere you look on this Yankee team, there is a player tipping the scale with some serious heft. Baseball players are tall people, more so than fans might realize—but most of these giants aren’t exactly boasting six-pack abs.

Going by the listed weights, the Yankees have 18 players in camp listed at 225 pounds or more, just under one-third of the total group in camp. Five players are listed at 250 pounds or more. On the pitching staff, new arrivals Freddy Garcia (250) and Bartolo Colon (245) join the mammoth Mr. Sabathia (290) and the voluminous Phil Hughes (240).

I like to point out the weight stories all winter and early spring because I think they’re fun, but really, I don’t care.  Like Kruk said “Lady, I’m not an athlete. I’m a baseball player.”

I will note for the record, however, that “The Voluminous Phil Hughes” would make an excellent name for a rock band.

  1. Jason @ IIATMS - Feb 17, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    How on Earth is Hughes five pounds less than Colon and Freddy Garcia is 5 pounds MORE?!?!

    #scalefail

    • bigharold - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:11 PM

      Easy because he’s 5 inches taller than Colon and in general mucle weighs more than fat.

  2. Jeremiah Graves - Feb 17, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    Maybe they’ve got the same guys who were in charge of the money during the Madoff scam doing all of the weigh-ins this year?!

    • Jeremiah Graves - Feb 17, 2011 at 8:35 AM

      Note: Before anyone jumps to call me a n00b and tell me that was the Mets involved in the Madoff thing, I know. I’m well-aware, New York is New York as far as I’m concerned. Either way it’s overhyped and crammed down everyone’s throats all year. Meh.

      (awaits the vitriol)

  3. Jonny 5 - Feb 17, 2011 at 8:48 AM

    If Bartolo is 245 then he’s 5′ 5″.

    • phukyouk - Feb 17, 2011 at 8:56 AM

      they left out a line.. Colon is 245… In his left leg.

  4. professorperry - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    There’s a pork bellies joke here somewhere …

  5. garryfish - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    They are lean, mean, baseball machines!!

  6. Panda Claus - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    I’ll take Famous Heavyweights for $100 Alex.

    Pop ‘N Fresh Boys (Pillsbury style)?

    Joba the Hut Gang?

    Somehow the Michelin Men doesn’t sound quite right.

    Biggest Losers? That one’s too easy and possibly a bit premature.

    • WhenMattStairsIsKing - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:43 PM

      Bartolo’s Colon. There ya go.

  7. yankeesfanlen - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    THE FAT TOAD is growing more and more into his name.

  8. jasonc2300 - Feb 17, 2011 at 9:31 AM

    “Mammoth Mr. Sabathia” has to be CC’s permanent nickname.

  9. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Feb 17, 2011 at 2:44 PM

    In my fatigue, I briefly read that as “the voluptuous Phil Hughes”, which would have worked out so much better for that article.

  10. aronmantoo - Feb 17, 2011 at 5:40 PM

    I think the weight thing might be the least of their problems

  11. cur68 - Feb 17, 2011 at 10:11 PM

    I’m gonna put a plug in for the “Mammoth Sabbathias” as a band name. They play digeridoo music.

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