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J.D. Drew, alligator hunting expert/crazy person

Feb 22, 2011, 5:16 PM EST

alligator

Peter Abraham of the Boston Globe has an amusing anecdote from Red Sox camp in Florida, where NESN announcer Don Orsillo spotted an alligator in the pond behind the condo he’s living in and wondered whether it could be hunted.

J.D. Drew was eventually brought in as the expert, because he’s from Florida and, as Abraham writes, is familiar with hunting gators:

According to J.D., you can hunt alligators with a bow and arrow or a gun. Or you can use his method. Drew said he was in a boat with his son once when they hooked an alligator with a fishing lure. He had his son hold the pole and took position to try and leap on the alligator. “I figured I could get him myself,” he said. “He was about five or six feet.”

“With your bare hands?” I asked.

J.D. gave me his best “no, you stupid city boy” look. “I had a knife,” he said.

But the line snapped and the gator got away. J.D. missed his chance. So next time you read about J.D. missing a game with a bad hamstring and consider complaining, consider that this is a guy who was willing to jump out of a perfectly good boat and attack a man-sized alligator with a knife.

My dad once asked me to hold the hood of his car up while he changed the oil and I had to think twice about it, so it’s worth noting that Drew’s kid seems pretty badass too.

  1. xmatt0926x - Feb 22, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    Great. He can try and kill gators with just a knife but he can’t seem to handle standing on a baseball field for more than a few games without getting yet another “nagging” injury that holds him to about 100 games. Isn’t that nice.

    • bigharold - Feb 22, 2011 at 5:30 PM

      The guys only making 14 mil a year what do want blood?

    • Ari Collins - Feb 22, 2011 at 5:34 PM

      Actually, he averages 140 games played most seasons, with only one season of less than 137 in the last 5. I’m not saying 137 games is a full season, but it’s far better than his first 7 seasons when he only twice played in 110 games. And I think most people still remember all those half seasons he used to have, as opposed to the 85% seasons he plays in these days.

      • xmatt0926x - Feb 22, 2011 at 11:03 PM

        In the future Ari, please don’t ruin my venting on players I hate with facts. It destroys the whole effect. The guy just irks me and I hope that gator bites him right in the ass.

      • Utley's Hair - Feb 22, 2011 at 11:12 PM

        Meh…just chuck a few 9 volts at a picture of him—it’s good therapy.

  2. Glenn - Feb 22, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    What most of us don’t know is how many times JD was going to go alligator hunting but came up lame that day. Just wondering – if players get their contracts voided for getting injured skiing or playing basketball, I would think that jumping on gators would be a deal breaker several magnitudes larger.

    • jwbiii - Feb 23, 2011 at 5:20 AM

      One-time uber-prospect Ben McDonald had a no gator rasslin’ clause in his contract. Unfortunately, he found a more normal way to wreck his shoulder.

  3. scatterbrian - Feb 22, 2011 at 5:47 PM

    Anyone heard from Old Gator lately?

    • Old Gator - Feb 22, 2011 at 5:51 PM

      Just got back from the dentist. Lures taste like shit. And they hurt. But at least now I know who that idiot was.

      • scatterbrian - Feb 22, 2011 at 6:08 PM

        I assume the lure looked like a horsemeat and Velveeta sammy?

      • Old Gator - Feb 22, 2011 at 6:54 PM

        I thought it was a medianoche. But what of that. Anyone who lives in Macondo – even a professional athlete, for Buddha’s sake – should know that what really attracts ‘gators is marshmallows. Really. That’s how I used to fetch my annual baby gator every fall. Go out along the back roads in southwest Macondo, find a swarm of hatchlings along a canal bank, toss the marshmallows into the water to ride the current, and wait for big mama to show herself and go off after the ‘mallows. Then throw a few busted up mallows into the water near the bank to attract the little ‘uns, net one with my long handled swimming pool net, release the one from last year that had grown to about three feet long, and take the baby home to the aquarium for a pet. Always had one around when I was a kid.

        Now of course I’m older, and I have Friendo instead. Pygmy rattlers make better companions for grownups.

      • cur68 - Feb 22, 2011 at 8:29 PM

        and J.D. Drew & Son tastes like chicken, right?

      • Utley's Hair - Feb 22, 2011 at 11:14 PM

        Mmmm…chicken cheesesteak….

  4. pmcenroe - Feb 22, 2011 at 6:58 PM

    Has any ever seen JD Drew and Mike Greenwell in the same place at the same time? hmmm

  5. PanchoHerreraFanClub - Feb 22, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    It’s a good thing that JD didn’t kill the gator. Some White Sox dude might think it was a dog and wish that JD would get injured. As if you had to wish for such a thing to have it come true.

  6. apbaguy - Feb 22, 2011 at 8:00 PM

    JD must have seen Crocodile Dundee as a kid, but missed the part where it was revealed that Dundee hadn’t really killed a croc with his bare hands. Of course, I say this with full recollection of growing up near Tampa, and all those times I used to stand about 20 yards away from a croc and tried to hit it with a rock. They are surprisingly fast when annoyed.

    • projectshadow316 - Feb 22, 2011 at 8:10 PM

      He didn’t try to kill the gator with his bare hands, either. He said he had a knife. Also, did anyone else try to imitate Dundee when he said “I had a knife”? Could potentially be a lucrative career/suicide mission after baseball for the guy. He just earned a few more respect points from me.

      • Utley's Hair - Feb 22, 2011 at 11:07 PM

        That’s nawt a knife. THIS is a knife.

        But Drew hasn’t garnered any additional respect from me. If anything, he jumped a few levels on the freakometer.

    • Old Gator - Feb 22, 2011 at 11:26 PM

      If it was Tampa, it was a gator, not a croc, bubba. They don’t range that far north. On the west coast of Florida they barely travel north of Marco Island – they eat fish, not bourgeoisie. One of ‘em ranged up into Biscayne Bay a few years ago and got up the inland waterway as far as Aventura, but that one apparently turned around and headed back south again. Gators, on the other hand, are everywhere. In canals. Ponds. Rivers. Swimming pools. You name it.

      And the meat makes a great substitute for veal. Tastes the same, a tenth of the cholesterol. Makes a great schnitzel.

      • Old Gator - Feb 23, 2011 at 12:58 PM

        Okay, since that last post seems to have met with an uncharacteristically lopsided show of approbation, here’s the recipe:

        Soak 1 lb. of gator meat in a container of papaya nectar for three days or so – in the fridge. Drain completely, cover with milk and soak in the fridge for another day. Drain, rinse. Wrap the gator meat in moist cheesecloth and pound with a veal hammer till the pieces are flat and soft. Drench the gator meat in wholemeal flour, dip in beaten egg (or Eggbeaters or some similar low cholesterol egg substitute) and coat liberally with the seasoned breadcrumb mix of your choice, preferably one to which you have added finely chopped fresh parsley.

        Fry the gator meat in extra virgin olive oil until well browned on both sides. Drain on paper towel. Serve with a sunnyside up egg covered with crossed anchovy fillets, spaetzle and shredded sweet red cabbage. Ohboy.

  7. Jonny 5 - Feb 23, 2011 at 8:36 AM

    J.D. Drew : Wanting to be a tough guy in front of son. “Hey boy, I’m gonna rassle me that there Gator you hooked and knife it, Like Crocodile Dundee…
    Son : Who’s Crocodile Dundee daddy?
    J.D. Drew : Ahhh, nevermind that son, I’m just going to save your fishin’ pole by gittin’ that there Gator.
    Son : Be careful Daddy remember you could barely get on base last season.
    J.D. Drew: Dang it Boy!! I told ya not to bring that up, this is quality time!
    Son : Sorry Dad
    J.D. “time to get to rasslin’ that Gator Boy! Yeeehaawww!! Hey boy, Look over there, a titty bird..” As his son turns he cuts the fishing string with the knife… “Awwwwww, shucks that lucky gator done snapped the line boy.”
    Son: Dad, what’s a titty bird?

    • cur68 - Feb 23, 2011 at 10:56 AM

      To Son of J.D. Drew; a tittiy bird is a kind of boobie.

  8. Glenn - Feb 23, 2011 at 10:07 PM

    Just curious, if the gator had the line caught in his mouth and losing a lure was the only thing at stake and you are a multimillionaire with a knife, why don’t you just cut the line?

    • cur68 - Feb 23, 2011 at 10:56 PM

      Because you are J.D. effin Drew and no gator gets a lure you had since you wuz a sprat. Besides, Old Gator looked at ‘im funny.

  9. macjacmccoy - Feb 24, 2011 at 3:54 AM

    Every time I hear or see this bums name it makes me want to throw a battery. Its wierd, there most be something in the water.

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