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Wanna get paid to watch baseball all season?

Feb 24, 2011, 9:00 AM EDT

ozymandias

You may have seen these ads floating around: Major League Baseball is starting a thing — and I think we can only safely call it a “thing” at the moment — in which some lucky sod is going to get paid to immerse themselves in baseball this season.

MLB is calling it a “dream job,” but I’m still calling it a “thing” because I think its more than a mere job. For one thing, they’re characterizing the search as a “casting call,” and the actual end product is going to be a “web series.” And, unlike most jobs, MLB is going to put the chosen one up in an apartment — at least I think it’s an apartment — in New York, which will be mission control. There certainly seem to be some reality TV elements to it.

The details as I’ve groked them:

  • The winner of the casting call will move to New York to star in a baseball web series and “be a part of a live interactive experience for baseball fans that will include watching every MLB game over the course of the entire baseball season.”  The idea, I’m told, is that there will be a wall of monitors in the apartment so you can watch all the games going on at once.
  • The chosen one will blog and interact with fans on the web via video and social media.  The series will be on MLB.com and Twitter and stuff.
  • What are they looking for? Someone who knows everything about baseball. Someone with an entertaining personality who can write and be funny and comfortable on screen.  I’d assume they also would prefer someone without a ton of familial obligations, seeing as though you’re going to be in a New York apartment watching games every night for seven straight months. Or maybe they don’t mind but, really, you should care about that. “Where’s daddy?”  “Well, junior, he’s in that MLB-funded crash pad, glued to a wall of TVs like Adrian Veidt.”  Not cool.

But for the “say goodbye to your kids for seven months” part — and the fact that I’m just too damn old to appeal to any demographic you can name — it sounds like a job tailor-made for me. Except I’m already paid to do all that stuff so I’m not going to apply. I have to provide my own video monitors, though. Maybe I need to send some memos around about that. Raw deal if you ask me.

Anyway I’m guessing a lot of you fit that job description. I’m also guessing most of you — based on the amount of time you spend here during working hours — aren’t too married to your current jobs and/or don’t have lives.  Go for it, dudes!

Apply here. If an HBT reader gets the gig, I’m going to insist that you let me crash at your Hella-Baseball-TV-Apartment a couple of weekends next summer. It would make for great web video.

  1. hep3 - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:25 AM

    Do you think I could play golf in the mornings, then take a nap and then watch games? Hmmm, sounds like a great gig.

  2. ThatGuy - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:27 AM

    Are you attempting to have your minions invade MLB? Take control from the inside, not a bad plan for baseball domination…

  3. sbsmyth - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:35 AM

    I’m 24 and I have a background in broadcasting and no kids. I’m ready!

  4. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    I’m too lazy for this job. Really.

    • spindervish - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:47 AM

      Ditto. I really think this is the kind of thing that could drive me to hate baseball.

      • Old Gator - Feb 24, 2011 at 11:12 AM

        If I had to sit just staring at a wall of TVs with nothing on them but baseball games – half of which would actually be designatedhitterball games, to boot – I’d start feeling like Alex DeLarge after a while. And at my age, any concerted effort to decondition me from grabbing tits would be sort of gratuitous anyway.

    • samiratou - Feb 24, 2011 at 11:15 AM

      Me, too. And I love baseball, and I have a short attention span, so a wall of screens with different baseball games is appealing. For about a week. Then I’d probably not want to see another baseball game ever as long as I live.

  5. mplsjoe - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    Kudos on the Watchmen pic & reference. Best comic ever.

    • randomdigits - Feb 24, 2011 at 10:01 AM

      Watchmen was good, don’t get me wrong, but I would have gone with Reverend Jim Ignatowski. Is it Delewarians or Delewarites?

  6. Jonny 5 - Feb 24, 2011 at 9:44 AM

    I’d go nuts, And I’d have to say it would probably be around mid season when I lose it.

    • Brian Murphy - Feb 25, 2011 at 12:43 PM

      I think that’s the point behind the whole series. A premise of “how cool would it be to watch a guy watching baseball for seven months” isn’t attractive to the typical reality-show hound.
      But a premise of “how long can a guy watch baseball before turning into Howard Hughes at the Martin Nosseck Projection Theatre” is destined to be a multi-season smash hit.

  7. trevorb06 - Feb 24, 2011 at 10:32 AM

    I love baseball and everything, but I’m the type of person where if you take something I want to do and make it something I (i)have(/i) to do (ie. making it work) then I no longer want to do it. I could see me liking this for 3 weeks but after about 4 or 5 times of me not being able to go outside and have fun due to ‘work’ I’d get sick of it and grow to resent it.

    In other news, I now want to see if I can get a job as an oil boy for bikini models in the Bahamas to test this theory.

  8. Matthew Flint - Feb 24, 2011 at 10:46 AM

    I’m thirty, have five kids (four of which are female). I would do this without getting paid. Can I bring my son though, I’d feel bad leaving a man behind.

  9. cur68 - Feb 24, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    I’m working on my masters and in the process of getting a divorce. Reading this crap and dreaming about the start of baseball season is all I got at the moment (because writing the thesis is running a close 2nd to my soon to be ex in terms of helli-sucking). Reasons for;
    – Ball games don’t start till in the afternoon, so I could get a round of golf in
    – I usually watch 5 things at once when I have time for TV, so multiple ball games do not bug me one bit
    – Bantering baseball makes me laugh (not much else is doing that these days).
    -Since I don’t actually have to be in the same room with anyone I don’t have to get creeped out with people
    Reasons against;
    -Promised frail and aging supervisor we’d publish this stuff this summer
    -15 year old daughter would be stuck here with crazy lady
    -May not be able to bring my dog (a border collie; hates cities and crowds, too.)
    -Hospital would be calling non-friggin-stop for me to come in bc we got ANOTHER damn crisis and I’m too much a wuss to say; ‘sorry Gomes is up to bat, Carpenter’s pitching and I gotta see how hard this guys head is’.

    sigh. I’m out

  10. Utley's Hair - Feb 24, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    Wait…would the “winner” have to listen to Hawk Harrelson? Or Wheels? “Cause I believe the Constituion says something or other about cruel and unusual punishment (I seem to remember it being against).

  11. ta192 - Feb 24, 2011 at 3:20 PM

    “And That Happened” or whatever it’s called…
    Sounds like a baseball blog to me…

  12. Chris Fiorentino - Feb 24, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    As a Phillies fan, this would ruin my fun following the greatest rotation in the history of baseball make their mark on the 2011 season. I mean, seriously. Why would i want to pay attention to a Royals/Indians game in the middle of the summer when Cliff Lee could be pitching? Or Doc? Cole? The Wizard of Oswalt? Puh-leeze. Keep your money and stupid apartment in the armpit of America, MLB. I’ll be in Philly eating a cheesesteak watching Comcast Sportsnet.

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