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Twins to give away souvenir glorifying blatant cheating awful underhanded play*

Mar 8, 2011, 10:29 AM EDT

Hrbek Gant

I think approximately 500 people sent me links to the pic of this Kent Hrbek-Ron Gant bobblehead when it started making the rounds a couple of weeks ago.  I held off writing about it because it’s not good to blog angry, but now the Twins have officially announced it as a promotion, so what the heck:

The giveaway comes on the first day of what is being billed as “1991 World Series Champs Reunion Weekend,” marking the title-winning team’s 20th anniversary.

Hrbek, the former Twins first baseman, and Atlanta’s Gant got tangled up in a play during the World Series that led to the base runner being called out as he rounded first and was retreating back to the base. Unsettled all these years is whether Hrbek unfairly overpowered Gant on the play.

Unsettled? Unsettled?!! Close study of the footage of that play reveals that not only did Hrbek physically remove Gant from the bag in order to tag him out, but that he used close-melee weapons to do so. He then proceeded to punch him, kick him, sleep with is wife and then burn down Gant’s mother’s house.  Don’t try to Google that stuff though. The Twins Industrial Complex has had it scrubbed from most websites because that’s just how they roll.

Really, though, this is the worst part of it all:

Braves director of public relations Beth Marshall said in an e-mail to the Star Tribune that “we begrudgingly gave our approval [to the design] because, although it wasn’t a great moment in Braves history, it was for the Twins!”

You see? Their reach is nearly unlimited. They have successfully planted a mole within the Braves power structure working to bring it down from the inside.  Like most right-thinking people I’m normally against half-crazed purges of suspected traitors within respectable organizations, but in this case I will make an exception. Whatever is behind this conspiracy makes the Illuminati look like women’s auxiliary of the local Lions Club and its malevolence must be stopped.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to track down that picture I saw one time of Jack Morris doctoring Game 7 baseballs with Dapper Dan Pomade and I need to finish the elaborate diagram I’ve been working on that explains how Lonnie Smith owed Kirby Puckett millions in gambling debts, thereby leading to a certain base running “gaffe.”


*I consulted Gleeman on the headline. He preferred “blatant cheating fantastic underhanded play.*

  1. The Common Man/ - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Craig, I’m tired of your constant whining on this. Hrbek did nothing wrong. The video and photo evidence clearly shows that Ron Gant picked the wrong moment to spontaneously levitate, and Hrbie made a heads up play to keep the tag on in spite of his shock.

  2. Matthew Flint - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Craig, I literally just laughed out loud the entire time I read this. The fact that you’re serious makes it too funny.

  3. phukyouk - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:38 AM

    Deep breaths craig… deep breaths….

  4. pauleee - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:40 AM

    Craig, I think you need to get in touch with Chris Fiorentino. It’s just not healthy to hold on to these things for so long. He can show you how to let the past be the past. 😉

  5. heyblueyoustink - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:49 AM

    Excellent work Craig…….don’t listen to the naysayers…..take up the cause……get yourself a flux capaciter, a Delorian, 88MPH later head back to the scene of the crime and intervene……now that would be taking action sir!

    • browngoat25 - Mar 8, 2011 at 12:11 PM

      heyblueyoustink, you fail to realize that a Twins fan (i’m guessing Gleeman) already did this. Gant was actually ruled safe, the Braves won in 5 games and Morris never pitched Game 7. Evil Twins fans have the Space/Time continuum so fouled up that even Dr. Who couldn’t fix it.

  6. bigharold - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    Criag, .. this sad attempt at revisionist history will not stand. History is written by the winners, … not the Braves.

    Man I wish The Yankee had the opportunity to execute this play against the Braves in 96.

    • phukyouk - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:57 AM

      not in 96… but in 2004 Arod tried this and it did not work out well…

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:04 AM

      Those horrible Yankees executed play after play in two World Series against my beloved Bravos, back in the 90’s. The worst sports moments of my life. Isn’t that enough? God, I hate the Yankees!!! ARRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

  7. Jonny 5 - Mar 8, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    You seem like the “Federal” reserve over executive order 11110.

  8. ThatGuy - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Whats funny is you can not find this video anywhere online… Maybe craigs conspiracy theory is onto something…(or more likely it is just MLBs stupid policies)

  9. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:05 AM

    Best post of 2011.

  10. BC - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:28 AM

    They should make one of A-Rod slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo’s glove….

    • phukyouk - Mar 8, 2011 at 5:00 PM

      Said that already……

  11. ThatGuy - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    The real question is do both heads bobble?

    • dluxxx - Mar 8, 2011 at 3:53 PM

      It would be brilliant if they could make Hrbeck’s head only nod and Gant’s head only shake. I’d buy that.

  12. Jack Marshall - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Bravo Craig. Next we’ll see the Yankees marketing bobbleheads of Jeffrey Maier cheating the Orioles, and Ed Armbrister blocking Carlton Fisk. It’s tasteless, and it’s wrong. Thanks for flagging it.

  13. yankeesfanlen - Mar 8, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    Doesn’t Keith Hernandez and the grassy knoll fit into this as well as O Brother Where Art Thou?

    • frankvzappa - Mar 8, 2011 at 4:16 PM

      i dont want Fop, goddamnit, im a Dapper Dan man!

  14. marshmallowsnake - Mar 8, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    It is OK…I still complain about Aaron Boone taking Wakefield deep in 2003….that was enough for me to leave a full beer at the bar and go home hotter then hell! (and I still complain after the two titles in 04 and 07!)

  15. diehardtwinsfan - Mar 8, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    Not to throw a monkey wrench into this, but the FBI got involved when classy Braves fans were threatening Hrbeck’s (and his family) life… Given his play wasn’t exactly good after that moment…

    • Utley's Hair - Mar 8, 2011 at 1:46 PM

      I find that hard to believe, since Braves fans just don’t care enough.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Mar 8, 2011 at 4:29 PM

        I ate the horse you rode in on with Velveeta and a crappy sub roll.

  16. Brian Murphy - Mar 8, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    Yeah, you see what happens when you blog angry? You turn out magnificent posts. It’s not anger, it’s passion.

    I think I am in the 100-125 range among the 500 who sent this link to HBT.

  17. clydeserra - Mar 8, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Bobby Thompson and the polo grounds fence?

  18. Beau - Mar 8, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    I just wish it was Hrbek’s glove and Gant’s leg that bobbled.

  19. vikesfansteve - Mar 8, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    Well the league made it up to the Braves when pitches that were a minimum of 4 inches outside were called strikes against the Indians in the clincher. Don’t believe me watch the replay. I guess it’s doctored though. Maybe by the Twins to hide their cheating in 91.

    Can Hrbek help it that Gant jumped into his arms to be held. Can’t put baby in a corner.

  20. josephlindstrom - Mar 8, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    I used to agree with Craig’s assessment of this play, but I recently got a 1991 retrospective DVD, and I’ve watched the play a lot. I really think it was the right call. It seems clear to me that Gant’s momentum knocked Hrbek back off the bag, and that the only reason Hrbek appeared to be “holding” him is because Gant was falling. If you watch that play and imagine that there is no other person standing at first base, it seems pretty easy to think that Ron Gant would have hopped/tripped just past the base all by himself. That Hrbek happened to be standing there when he did so seems pretty above board.

    So, unsettled? Yes, I believe it is still unsettled.

    Additionally, this why we teach third grade baseball players how to slide. Not sure how Ron Gant forgot.

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