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Guess which Yankees infielder is the new GQ cover boy

Mar 15, 2011, 8:20 AM EDT

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v New York Yankees Getty Images

I knew it! The guy is on his best behavior for a while, making us think that he’s all about dedicating himself to baseball in an effort to justify that out-sized contract, but really it’s all about the spotlight for him. Him and his actress girlfriend and the cover of fashion magazines, with the subheadline “the swinging years.”

Just so typical. I mean, that Alex Rodriguez is so full of — wait, what?  You mean it’s not A-Rod on the cover of GQ? It’s Jeter? And he’s talking about how he’s gone out of the way to keep his private life private as opposed to getting is splashed all over the tabloids? Oh, well. This is embarrassing …

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I didn’t go out and have fun. But there’s been a lot of players that come to New York and get caught up in the lifestyle, and before you know it, they’re sent away to another team because it affected their performance. My number one priority was on the field. I’ve had fun. It’s not like I’ve never gone out; I’ve done a lot of things. But I’ve always kept sight of my number one priority.”

Sigh. Even in a big glossy magazine feature he comes off as a boy scout. And that’s pretty hard to do.  I’m convinced at this point that if you put subconscious-reading electrodes directly on his cerebrum and fed him a steady diet of seared scallops in a truth serum-infused reduction for months on end and you’d still get nothing better than “I just try to be prepared out there,” references to “Mr. Steinbrenner” and rebop about how playing for the Yankees is a great honor.  Really, his professionalism and polish are practically sickening at this point. At least for those of us who require a steady dose of human frailty to make us feel better about the fact that we more or less topped out during our junior year of high school.

But I hold out hope. I’ve always maintained that if we ever get a really juicy Derek Jeter story, it won’t come via a Derek Jeter interview. It will come via interviews with Derek Jeter’s doormen, personal assistants, maids, butlers, valets, neighbors, and pharmacists over the past 15 years.  And if anyone has the email address of any of those people, by all means, please submit it to be via the “Send Tip/Feedback” button in the upper right-hand corner of this page.

  1. garryfish - Mar 15, 2011 at 8:30 AM

    Leave Jeter alone, he is one of the good guys in baseball. He has his priority straight.

  2. yankeesfanlen - Mar 15, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    Okay, Beep-beep, we’re on to you-one false move and it’s KC for YOU!
    Time Warp time- Is he a mix of Billy Martin and Joe D. or what? Simon and Garfunkel, cue up the songbook.

    • henryd3rd - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:22 AM

      No way should Jeter be placed in the same category as Billy Martin. With all due respect to the dead; Martin was a bullying necrotic alcoholic who lived out most of his adult life in a bottle. His death was the result of his driving while under the influence on an icy roadway after leaving a bar.

      Jeter’s only indiscretion was dating Mariah Cary and having her seated in the front row at Yankee Stadium in full camera view. Damn! Talk about being indiscreet. What was he thinking? Come on man?

      • yankeesfanlen - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:00 AM

        I’ll admit that the Billy Martin reference was rapid and reflexive, because Jeter is not of the same catagory of personality. It was, however, a reaction to Jeter’s statement that he wants to play his personal life close to the vest (the opposite of Billy) so that it cannot in any way affect his performance, or be perceived as diminishing the Yankee brand.
        But Jeter is being totally archaic in bringing this to anyone’s attention because it is 50+ year old news that the Yankee organization operates this way, and he’s afraid that if he even gives the appearance of stepping out of line, the current front office would take exception.
        Moving to the Joe D. reference, Joe was aloof to the point of being overly arrogrant, more so than ARod (leave HIM alone) has ever been.
        So we dissolve to my conclusion that Jeter has been an important piece of the Yankees for a career-lengthof time, but he is somewhat paranoid and robotic about it.

  3. proudlycanadian - Mar 15, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    Jeter is no longer a boy. He is rather long in the tooth to be a cover boy.

    • dirtyharry1971 - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:22 AM

      look at proudly, he still thinks the jays matter, LOL. Only a matter of time until they join the expos

      • cur68 - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:56 AM

        Why harry; that was damn near witty; way to go. Keep up the good work. As for the Jays; donna you worry about dem jays, they play pretty good pre-season ball and most folks see them improving on things. As for Jeets, well after all this time of him being a boyscout (or oldmanscout as proudlycanadian, my beaver loving parter in frost, would put it) maybe the reason we don’t see any other side of him is because there is no other side? He might really be a relatively decent person with a penchant for busty women (now come on, show of thumbs, that’s all of us, too, right? I mean, as for me; GUILTY), baseball, big houses and being respectful of his boss and teammates? I’d certainly like to think so, and I’ve been grasping at all kinds of innuendo trying to find a reason to hate on Jeets and just can’t manage it.

  4. henryd3rd - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    This is a sad commentary on our society. Certain celebrities are prisoners within their own small world because the paparazzi are just waiting to pounce on anything negative and when nothing negative materializes they are willing to pay someone, i.e. doormen, maids, chauffeurs and etc for any tantalizing tidbits.

    Considering all that Derek Jeter has accomplished as well as the soap opera that is associated with playing short stop in NYC for the Yankees and never has their been a hint of a scandal is an major accomplishment in its self.

    • paperlions - Mar 15, 2011 at 11:24 AM

      Is it a major accomplishment if almost every Yankee also manages to avoid scandal. Really, what percentage of Yankees over the last 15 years have had “scandals” surrounding them? Almost none of them, including many very famous and great players. Those that manage to run afoul of the law/tabloids are in the great minority.
      This is another example of Jeter getting extra credit for doing what nearly every other athlete does.

      • bigharold - Mar 15, 2011 at 3:46 PM

        You mean except for A-Rod, Clemens, Randy Velardi, Mike Stanton, Chuck Knoblock, Pettitte and Giambi getting outted for PEDS? Or, perhaps you aren’t talking about A-Rod getting his picture in the paper with a stripper in his hotel in Toronto? Or, maybe you are not talking about run of the mill things like DUIs, like the ones gotten by; Gene Michaels and leaving the scene of an accident, or Mark Newman or Steve Swindle. not to mention Jim Leyritz ? Get the point? I’m sure there are others I can’t remember.

        As a Yankee fan I don’t enjoy rerunning their personal blooper reels of the Yankees but it is important to note that Jeter has in fact done a pretty good job of behaving like a grown up. A job that was certainly made harder because not only the fame and fortune that he achieved as a young man but because of the blisteringly high intensity media environment that he has lived for most of his adult life. I’m sure had I been in his position I would have found my way into the papers a time or two for the wrong reasons.

        All things considered I think he does deserve the credit he gets for keeping his personal life personal. He might well be the biggest jerk on two feet within the confines of his home but he has demonstrated the good taste to keep that side of him, good or bad, out of the public view. So now can we just LEAVE JETER ALONE?

  5. dirtyharry1971 - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    I got a better title for this, Guess who still can’t write a half way decent column about baseball? I mean who gives a rats a$$? Write something interesting but we know thats never gonna happen, instead we get crap like this that you would find in the star mag.. Maybe next Craig can tell us who Jeter is dating, lol.

    • Detroit Michael - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:39 AM

      Based on the headline alone, you could have chosen not to click on the story then.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:42 AM

      So how pathetic does that make you that you feel it necessary to read my stuff everyday simply to tell us all how worthless it is? At least I’m getting paid to spew this allegedly awful content. You’re consuming it gratis, by choice.

      Are you a masochist, or do your parents simply not teach you when to get out of the rain?

      • henryd3rd - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:55 AM

        You both look stupid! It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt!

      • dirtyharry1971 - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:21 AM

        How do you know i dont get paid to do what i do? You dont, case closed

      • dirtyharry1971 - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:35 AM

        they really pay you to rip off stories from other sources and than copy and paste it here and pretend that you actually did something? Let me guess you got hired by a family member? LOL

      • Craig Calcaterra - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:39 AM

        Nice! It took you less than an hour and only two attempts to devise an even arguably snappy comeback! You’ll get the “most improved troll” award yet!

      • Utley's Hair - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:47 AM

        Wow…if you ARE in fact paid to do this, then you are publicly ripping what you are paid for. For your sake, then, maybe your “employer” should take that burden away from you.

        And you are so PO’d with your job that you feel the need to 1.) reply to yourself within 15 minutes if Craig doesn’t reply to you in time, and 2.) in the middle of the night, post the same opinion on a post from a week ago. Nice.

      • cur68 - Mar 15, 2011 at 11:04 AM

        dityharry; sigh. You were doing to so well there…oh well. Its all a work in progress isn’t it? For me, I look at this logically; of all the various bloggers MSNBC has, Craig’s is about the most commented on I’ve ever seen, a feat he accomplishes without relying solely on gossip, and if he does have a gossipy piece, he pretty much paints it as such in the headline so if you aren’t interested you can look at something else. I invite you to do so harry, since his work bugs you so much. A person as obviously filled with bile as you are needs to maybe head on over to the Teddy Ruxpin page and chill a bit before coming around the civilized folks. As for Craig, he’s funny, insightful and doesn’t let his crazy Atlanta bias get in the way of pointing out that the Jays are actually a pretty good team.

  6. jasonc2300 - Mar 15, 2011 at 9:40 AM

    Ooh, a sarcasm detector–oh, that’s a REALLY useful invention!

  7. bigharold - Mar 15, 2011 at 10:33 AM

    Hasn’t all this been covered? Wasn’t the punch line a Visa commercial about 10 years ago.

    I think any player, even Jeter, should be given a hard time for the stupid things that he does not the private life he insist on keeping private. If he was ricocheting through his life and career like some Terrell Owens/Charlie Sheen cartoon figure it really wouldn’t matter how well he plays. But, since he comports himself like a grown up that is still, after all these years, note worthy.

    As is oft stated around here; LEAVE JETER ALONE!

  8. lbehrendt - Mar 15, 2011 at 1:12 PM

    Craig, am I your only reader who gets that this piece is funny, spot-on and the way a flattering piece about Jeter SHOULD sound when written with tongue firmly in cheek? Or maybe I’m your only reader who’s missing the point, it’s been that kind of week.

    • Craig Calcaterra - Mar 15, 2011 at 1:24 PM

      Nah. I’m pretty sure you nailed it.

    • bigharold - Mar 15, 2011 at 3:52 PM

      “ I your only reader who gets that this piece is funny,..”

      No you’re not the only one. The point is it’s not really funny, even if you tried to look at it that way. The blow back seems to be because Craig really isn’t that funny after all.

      • lbehrendt - Mar 15, 2011 at 4:08 PM

        Seared scallops are funny. Unless Jeter keeps kosher.

  9. tribester - Mar 15, 2011 at 1:17 PM

    I must admit I was hoping for Cano or Tex, just to shake things up.

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