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News flash: Jeffrey Loria says something stupid

Mar 17, 2011, 8:25 AM EDT

Jeffrey Loria

Maybe it really is a news flash and not just an ironic one. Loria usually does stupid thins as opposed to saying them publicly. I’ll leave that analysis to someone who can stomach thinking about Jeff Loria for more than the time it takes me to do this post and then go cleanse my psyche with non-Loria thoughts.

Anyway, here’s Jeffy, unhappy with how the Marlins are doing:

“I’m not happy,’ he said in the clubhouse during the seventh inning of Florida’s 6-3 loss to Tampa Bay. Asked about his team’s play so far, Loria quickly vented his frustration.

“Uninspired baseball … Inconsistent and not acceptable. Very few guys have focused on what they’re here for. Very few … I know it’s only spring training, but it’s time to take a look in the mirror. We’re better than this. It’s time to show it. We need to be playing as a team and we need to hit.”

It’s spring freakin’ training. And while one can identify bad habits and bad signs in any given player over the course of the spring, I have yet to see any study whatsoever that shows a link between a team’s overall performance in spring training and how they do in the regular season.

And really, that’s what Loria’s on about here: the losses. Because nowhere in his quotes does he identify actual problems with the team other than the losses. He dismisses injuries — which is one of the few things that are relevant about spring training — and talks about “effort” and “inspiration” and other intangible hokum about which he knows very little. It’s the kind of thing you hear guys discussing in sports bars and on talk radio. Any serious baseball person knows that Loria is speaking in empty platitudes here. The Marlins haven’t won in spring training while he’s been down there. That’s all he knows. Boo-freakin’-hoo, Jeff, it’s irrelevant.

But there is something awesome about the story: the accompanying photo of Loria holding a stopwatch or a cell phone or something while “checking the pitch speed on Jhan Marinez.” As if he knows something about baseball other than how to make money in it and destroy franchises.  It’s like a fantasy camp for billionaire art collectors who fancy themselves scouts or GMs or something.  Cute!

  1. oldnumero7 - Mar 17, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    You forgot to say that Loria is really good at ruining franchises. No, wait, there it is. Carry on.

  2. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Mar 17, 2011 at 10:22 AM

    That guy is good for team morale.

  3. trevorb06 - Mar 17, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    I once worked for a company where the owners didn’t really care much about the company and they didn’t invest the necessary resources to keep the company going properly. I wasn’t too inspired to go into work and chug along, either. I guess I feel for the players here. It’s hard to work and play for a team that you know can do so much better if the owner would actually invest some of the revenue the team makes back into the company/team instead of investing it in his pocket.

    • ta192 - Mar 17, 2011 at 4:19 PM

      Imagine we all did…

  4. Old Gator - Mar 17, 2011 at 11:56 AM

    Craig, I cited Scrooge McLoria’s rant in the Javier Vasquez post below last night. It’s a goody though I am sorry you cut out the bit about “flipping the switch.”

    Anyway, here I am in Colorado Springs, sniffing thin air and heading up to the Garden of the Gods for a little exercise. Then I have to deliver a paper on libidinal sublimity in the lyrics of Robert Hunter. And Derek Jeter thinks batting third for the Borg is the best job in the world. Hah!

  5. deathmonkey41 - Mar 17, 2011 at 2:02 PM

    Just a tip- if you’re going to calling someone out for being stupid or saying stupid things, make sure you check the spelling in your article first. Two errors in the first sentence is a way to lose street cred!

    • spindervish - Mar 17, 2011 at 2:37 PM

      It’s well established that big-time bloggers like Craig have little use for minor details like proofreading. Speaking of proofreading, you might want to consider it yourself the next time you’re calling out someone else’s spelling or grammar.

  6. BC - Mar 17, 2011 at 3:47 PM

    He looks like he was in a bar brawl or was mugged in that picture.

  7. budha425 - Mar 17, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    As a die hard Marlins fan (and yes there are at least a couple of us out there), i am enraged by what this d-bag has done to this franchise. Cowboy Wayne may have dismantled great teams but at least he spent some coin in trying to win some games first. I go to bed every night praying i wake up to find out Scrooge sold the team, or was visited by 3 ghosts who show him the error of his ways. Until then i guess I’ll have to reminisce about what once was and try not to think about what should be.

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