Mar 21, 2011, 5:30 AM EDT
Doug Masters: What’s the hold-up?
Tower: We are having trouble finding a jeep suitable for your, um, purposes.
Doug Masters: Bullsh**, you’ve got a whole country full of them! You just lost a refinery! Looks like they’ll be importing oil this year, Chappy!
At least that’s what I made of the news from Libya this weekend. I had the sound down, though. Really, though, would that have made any less sense than what’s really happening?
- Grady Sizemore has been ruled out for Opening Day. Really, though, the day after the trade deadline is his Opening Day this year, ain’t it?
- Quote of the weekend from D.J. Short: “I, for one, look forward to reading Jon Heyman’s reaction when Castillo signs a contract before David Eckstein.” Well, Castillo signed before Eckstein. And Heyman hates it. Seems that Castillo “exudes mopey-ness.” That kind of trenchant analysis is why SI pays him the big bucks.
- I was 14 years-old the last time a baseball season began without Tim Wakefield on someone’s roster, be it in the minors or the majors. I presume that the streak will continue, but not for too much longer.
- I like slam dunks that take me to the hoop, my favorite play is the alley oop. I like the pick-and-roll, I like the give-and-go, but when they said “ball Zack?” he should have just said no!
- Mookie Wilson reclaims the number 1 jersey for the Mets. Mookie Calcaterra did not appreciate me pointing out that her nicknamesake was in the news again.
- Brian Wilson strained his oblique. Brian Wilson is oblique. I sense irony.
- Curt Schilling referred to his 2004 Red Sox teammate Manny Ramirez as a “cheater.” Which, while not particularly polite, is true. There are a lot of things that one could call Schilling that aren’t polite but which are true too.
- Am I the only one who wasn’t aware that the White Sox’ closer’s job was actually up for grabs? I assumed it was Matt Thornton‘s job the day Bobby Jenks split. The things you learn reading HardballTalk!
- With the release of Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez all but gone, that leaves Carlos Beltran as the last guy for Mets fans to kick around. Except the kicking of Beltran never made any kind of sense whatsoever. Anyway, he’s playing again.
- Pat Neshek was waived by the Twins and picked up by the Padres. Hard to think of a better place for a pitcher to have a fresh start than in Petco Park.
- Ryan Zimmerman resumes baseball activities. I too resumed baseball activities yesterday, having bought my son and daughter their first baseball gloves, a ball, bat and tee. We left the tee and bat aside for the time being and just focused on trying to play catch. The first 15 minutes were spent with both of them trying to explain to me how silly it was for right-handed people to wear the glove on their left hand. The next ten minutes were spent with the ball bouncing off the heels of their gloves and into their chins, faces and shoulders. Then it was decided that it was great fun for daddy to simply throw the ball up in the air as high as he could and catch it, which was met with a round of applause each time. Then they walked over near the bushes and started digging up worms, holding them on the ends of sticks and chasing the other one with them. Baseball activities may have been resumed a bit too early.
And on we go into the last full week with no baseball that counts until November.
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 11
- Tony Cingrani hits Bryce Harper in the back with a pitch, then complains he was too slow getting to first base 99
- Video: Josh Hamilton hits his first home run of the season 15
- Rockies starter Chad Bettis loses his no-hitter in the eighth inning 2
- Stephen Strasburg exits start in the second inning with an apparent injury 5
- More than half of polled baseball fans prefer having the pitcher hit 73
- The Marlins aren’t happy with the Dan Jennings hire 47
- Andrew McCutchen is doing just fine now, thank you 20
- Tony Cingrani hits Bryce Harper in the back with a pitch, then complains he was too slow getting to first base (100)
- The Big Unit: Wide Angle Watcher (90)
- And That Happened: Wednesday’s scores and highlights (89)
- Chipper Jones will fight you if you insult his “girl” (84)
- Alex Rodriguez is the all-time AL RBI champion. Sorta. (76)