Doug Masters: What’s the hold-up?
Tower: We are having trouble finding a jeep suitable for your, um, purposes.
Doug Masters: Bullsh**, you’ve got a whole country full of them! You just lost a refinery! Looks like they’ll be importing oil this year, Chappy!
At least that’s what I made of the news from Libya this weekend. I had the sound down, though. Really, though, would that have made any less sense than what’s really happening?
- Grady Sizemore has been ruled out for Opening Day. Really, though, the day after the trade deadline is his Opening Day this year, ain’t it?
- Quote of the weekend from D.J. Short: “I, for one, look forward to reading Jon Heyman’s reaction when Castillo signs a contract before David Eckstein.” Well, Castillo signed before Eckstein. And Heyman hates it. Seems that Castillo “exudes mopey-ness.” That kind of trenchant analysis is why SI pays him the big bucks.
- I was 14 years-old the last time a baseball season began without Tim Wakefield on someone’s roster, be it in the minors or the majors. I presume that the streak will continue, but not for too much longer.
- I like slam dunks that take me to the hoop, my favorite play is the alley oop. I like the pick-and-roll, I like the give-and-go, but when they said “ball Zack?” he should have just said no!
- Mookie Wilson reclaims the number 1 jersey for the Mets. Mookie Calcaterra did not appreciate me pointing out that her nicknamesake was in the news again.
- Brian Wilson strained his oblique. Brian Wilson is oblique. I sense irony.
- Curt Schilling referred to his 2004 Red Sox teammate Manny Ramirez as a “cheater.” Which, while not particularly polite, is true. There are a lot of things that one could call Schilling that aren’t polite but which are true too.
- Am I the only one who wasn’t aware that the White Sox’ closer’s job was actually up for grabs? I assumed it was Matt Thornton‘s job the day Bobby Jenks split. The things you learn reading HardballTalk!
- With the release of Luis Castillo and Oliver Perez all but gone, that leaves Carlos Beltran as the last guy for Mets fans to kick around. Except the kicking of Beltran never made any kind of sense whatsoever. Anyway, he’s playing again.
- Pat Neshek was waived by the Twins and picked up by the Padres. Hard to think of a better place for a pitcher to have a fresh start than in Petco Park.
- Ryan Zimmerman resumes baseball activities. I too resumed baseball activities yesterday, having bought my son and daughter their first baseball gloves, a ball, bat and tee. We left the tee and bat aside for the time being and just focused on trying to play catch. The first 15 minutes were spent with both of them trying to explain to me how silly it was for right-handed people to wear the glove on their left hand. The next ten minutes were spent with the ball bouncing off the heels of their gloves and into their chins, faces and shoulders. Then it was decided that it was great fun for daddy to simply throw the ball up in the air as high as he could and catch it, which was met with a round of applause each time. Then they walked over near the bushes and started digging up worms, holding them on the ends of sticks and chasing the other one with them. Baseball activities may have been resumed a bit too early.
And on we go into the last full week with no baseball that counts until November.
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- drunkenhooliganism - Mar 21, 2011 at 9:30 AM
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Start with hitting the ball off the tee. When my son was two he could do that. And he couldn’t get enough of it. Catching a ball is apparently really hard.
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- BC - Mar 21, 2011 at 9:34 AM
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Wakefield HAS to make the Red Sox. This is a tautology. Which is tantamount to the same thing. It is a law of nature. Wakefield must make the Red Sox roster. Quod erat demonstrandum.
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- BC - Mar 21, 2011 at 9:35 AM
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PS. Heyman is a chipwich.
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- Jonny 5 - Mar 21, 2011 at 9:46 AM
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I was playing catch with Jr. in the back yard around dusk over the weekend and I lost sight of the ball for a second, it wacked me so hard in the leg it almost took me down. My phone took some of the impact. He laughed at me for at least 5 minutes. My son is a shit head.
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- drunkenhooliganism - Mar 21, 2011 at 10:35 AM
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Nothing makes our little Phillies’ Phans laugh like pain
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- spudchukar - Mar 21, 2011 at 11:06 AM
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So it’s innate? Are you trying to start some nurture/nature discussion?
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- Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 11:22 AM
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Come on, Jonny!! Stop whining like an overly sensitive, insecure, and yet entitled Phightins Phan!!! Suck it up and deal with it!!!!! You know…like a Dwarves fan…?
(And by your “lost sight of the ball for a second” comment, I see you are embracing the Luis Castillo rebirth era. Way to go!
)
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- Jonny 5 - Mar 21, 2011 at 1:19 PM
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HA!!!!
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- largebill - Mar 21, 2011 at 10:00 AM
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It is easy to dump on Schilling for being sanctimonious on the subject of steroids. However, I have to admit he has been relatively consistent. Other players have complained about cheaters but only those on other teams. Schilling does not change his tune just because a player happened to have helped put a ring on his finger.
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- marshmallowsnake - Mar 21, 2011 at 12:18 PM
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I met the guitarist from King Kobra – (Never Give Up – Iron Eagle theme song) in Scottsdale a few months back…he plays guitar for a coverband, Rock Lobster here in the Valley…just thought I would mention that because of the Iron Eagle nod…