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Wanna see a Uniform Player’s Contract?

Mar 21, 2011, 5:40 PM EDT

Man Signing Contract

Old Gator said in a comment a few minutes ago that I seem nostalgic for the halls of justice today. I don’t think it’s that dire, but yeah, there has been a lot of legal stuff on the blog today. I’ll risk one more quasi-legal item. This is just a link, though, via MLB Trade Rumors, who has a copy of a Uniform Player’s Contract with the player’s identity redacted.

This is fun stuff, if for no other reason than there’s a clause in there — 4(b) — entitled “Condition,” in which the player promises that he has “no physical or mental defects known to him and unknown to the appropriate representative of the Club which would prevent or impair performance of his services.”

So basically: if you’re a nut job, tell your team’s Official Nut-job Reporting Officer.  The forms are located just outside of his office.

  1. spudchukar - Mar 21, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    Currently, they are out of forms in Chicago.

    • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2011 at 6:11 PM

      They’re certainly backordered at the Republican National Comittee office.

      • proudlycanadian - Mar 21, 2011 at 6:25 PM

        Better the Halls of Justice for Craig than the Halls of Montezuma. I am sure that he has no nostalgia for the latter.

      • Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 6:39 PM

        The shores of Tripoli are currently occupied.

  2. wintwins - Mar 21, 2011 at 5:59 PM

    i love this blog

    • Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 7:27 PM

      Apparently, at least two people disagree.

  3. Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 6:20 PM

    “no physical or mental defects known to him and unknown to the appropriate representative of the Club which would prevent or impair performance of his services.”

    Wow…legalese really doesn’t subscribe to proper grammar, does it?

    • Old Gator - Mar 21, 2011 at 6:47 PM

      Never studied demotic Greek or Pidgin Latin, eh?

      • Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 7:02 PM

        Pig Latin, yes, but not the rats-with-wings-esque dialect.

  4. kalinedrive - Mar 21, 2011 at 7:26 PM

    Why all the references to “championship season”? Is that just a generic name for a sports season, or does it mean there must be a championship series in MLB? What does the word championship add to the definition of a season?

    • Craig Calcaterra - Mar 21, 2011 at 7:27 PM

      “championship season” is the term of art MLB uses for “regular season.” Meaning “not the playoffs.”

      • Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 7:44 PM

        “Term of art?” I’ve seen some pretty damn ugly regular seasons, Craig.

      • Chipmaker - Mar 22, 2011 at 9:14 AM

        A scheduled season that concludes with a team claiming the championship. Games played, count toward earning the right to claim it.

  5. amhendrick - Mar 21, 2011 at 7:46 PM

    So were contracts void in 1994?

  6. 4d3fect - Mar 21, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    That clause immediately brings Milton Bradley to mind.

    • Utley's Hair - Mar 21, 2011 at 9:26 PM

      And that comment makes me wonder whether knowing that one is a nutjob somehow mitigates the level of nutjobiness—or something.

  7. mongo2011 - Mar 21, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    I don’t suppose they’d consider adding that clause to an NFL recievers contract… Naw.

  8. cur68 - Mar 21, 2011 at 11:04 PM

    So is Miguel Cabrera in breach of contract then? What about Brian Wilson? With apologies to seeinwhatsticks; that guys is nuttier than pistachio farmer’s barn. I just want to know if they’ve disclosed their obvious mental instabilities.

  9. joshv02 - Mar 22, 2011 at 7:41 AM

    Is this different from the version appended to the CBA? At first glance, it appears to be the same.

  10. Dan in Katonah - Mar 22, 2011 at 12:00 PM

    Always my favorite question at depositions. It just begs the response, if I did have a mental defect that would prevent me from answering or understanding, how would I know? I’m sure Charlie Sheen has that one loaded up and ready for action.

    • cur68 - Mar 23, 2011 at 12:21 AM

      This is my point with Wilson and Cabrerra. Are those guys admitting to being mental on their contracts? If not, then are they in breach of contract or can they argue that their being mental blinds them to being mental? And seriously, no love for the the phrase “Brian Wilson is nuttier than a pistachio farmer’s barn”? That’s comedy gold right there…

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