Mar 22, 2011, 9:12 AM EDT
I’m about as likely to listen to Chipper Jones‘ theories on the JFK assassination as I am to listen to Luke Scott‘s theories about President Obama’s place of birth, but for those of you who demand more of your baseball players than mere athletic prowess, please know that Jones does, indeed, have a theory. At least a broad one, which he told to Dan Scholssberg of The Post Game:
“Having shot a hunting rifle all my life, I personally believe there was more than one shooter. The conspiracy behind it is what really intrigues me. I’m sure it went pretty high but I don’t know how high. Let’s just say somebody had to put it into motion—and it was somebody high-ranking in the U.S. government.”
Whatever you say, Chip. For my part I put more stock in James Ellroy’s theory as described in “American Tabloid.” It’s complicated, but let’s just say that you do not want to steal heroin from the mob as a way of taking revenge against them for failing to back you in your plan to assassinate Fidel Castro following your failure in the Bay of Pigs invasion. Because if you do, they’ll make you kill Jack the Haircut as payback, get me?
Or else it was Rand Corporation, in conjunction with the saucer people, under the supervision of the reverse vampires. I could go either way with it.
- Kris Medlen leaves game with right forearm strain 13
- Cardinals sign Cuban middle infielder Aledmys Diaz to a four-year major league contract 41
- Cardinals and Matt Carpenter agree to a six-year, $52 million extension 10
- Jet Blue Park is absolutely incredible 59
- Gary Nolan one of many careers saved by Dr. Frank Jobe 17
- Ian Kinsler hopes Rangers go 0-162, calls GM a “sleazeball” (132)
- Albert Pujols was insulted when someone asked him if he can put up Mike Trout numbers (103)
- The politics of “The Cardinal Way” (67)
- Robinson Cano wants the Mariners to bring in Kendrys Morales and Ervin Santana (64)
- Reporter calls Ian Kinsler as self-absorbed as A-Rod (60)