Apr 1, 2011, 8:45 AM EST
Pete Rose: Hello?
Bud Selig: Pete, it’s Commissioner Selig. How are you?
Rose: Awful. Because I’m Pete Rose and my very existence is borderline pathetic.
Selig: That’s great, Pete. Hey: I got some good news and some bad news.
Rose: Shoot. The Hit King is listening.
Selig: The good news is that we’ve repealed the rules against gambling on baseball and have reinstated you.
Rose: Wow! That’s fantastic! My dream come true! What’s the bad news?
Selig: The bad news is that as soon as we did that, the Hall of Fame Veterans Committee met for a vote and you were rejected.
Rose: Oh no! Why? I have more hits than anyone! I have three World Series rings! What possibly could have possessed them to reject my candidacy?
Selig: That jacket you wore at yesterday’s Reds-Brewers game. Dude. Seriously.
(photo via TedQuarters)
- Giants acquire Casey McGehee from the Marlins 7
- The Padres have given their fans something to talk about. Which is badly needed in San Diego. 53
- Justin Upton traded to the Padres for three prospects 79
- Bud Selig will get a $6 million a year pension. Which is obscene. 139
- Jake Peavy agrees to a two-year, $24 million deal to stay with the San Francisco Giants 24
- Matt Kemp has officially been traded to the Padres 29
- Padres acquire catcher Derek Norris from Athletics 35
- St. Petersburg City Council votes down deal to allow Rays to look for new stadium site 90
- The United States will seek to normalize relations with Cuba (144)
- Bud Selig will get a $6 million a year pension. Which is obscene. (139)
- Cubs, Red Sox, Dodgers, Padres, Rangers, and Astros interested in Phillies’ Cole Hamels (111)
- Rays, Padres, Nationals agree to 11-player trade (97)
- Chase Headley signs a four-year deal with the Yankees worth at least $52 million. (95)