Apr 4, 2011, 8:23 AM EDT
It actually feels like it was a long weekend for me since I took most of Friday to head up to Cleveland and take in the Indians-White Sox on Opening Day at Progressive Field. It was not the most competitive game in baseball history. Indeed, I’m pretty sure it was 198-0 by the time I settled into my seat (note: the Indians stocked the fridge in the Indians Social Suite on Friday, so my memory of the score may be a bit … skewed).
But bad baseball is still a good thing, so I’d like to thank the Indians for having me up there. And for not revoking my tickets for inviting these guys with me up into the suite for the express purposes of causing trouble in front of team officials and visiting dignitaries. It was awkward for a while — no one likes to be accused of being an honor-free racist — but we all bonded over the fact that this Bob Feller silhouette shirt I met in a bar is pretty fantastic, so it was all good.
Here’s a bit of what else went down this weekend:
- Jim Edmonds has a beef with the Cincinnati Reds’ doctors. Hey Jim: they won’t tell you how to misplay fly balls into spectacular, reputation-making diving catches if you don’t tell them how to diagnose and treat an achilles injury, OK?
- Johnny Damon tries to bring the ol’ hook-and-ladder play to baseball and people complain about it. Haters. You’ll miss his genius when he’s gone.
- When your only chance at contention is everyone in the rotation fulfilling expectations or better, this is not good news.
- Brian Cashman, Pedro Feliciano and Abuse-Gate. File this under “stuff that no one would care about if it involved the Mariners and Brewers.”
- The Yankees allegedly cheated via hand signals and stuff. File this under “stuff no one would have even noticed if it involved the Mariners and Brewers.”
- Alfredo Simon reports to the Orioles camp. You know what the Mexicans say about Sarasota? They say it has no memory.
- Evan Longoria is the 1000th player to suffer from an oblique injury this spring, so he wins a prize.
- If you’re going to risk your job to insert a “Family Guy” snippet into a baseball broadcast, you need to get a better bang for your buck than this. And actually, you may as well just go all-out and insert an “Archer” snippet.
I mean, really: this is like O. Henry and Alanis Morrisette had a baby and named it “this exact situation”.
- The Yankees, A-Rod resolve their dispute over the $6 million milestone bonus 9
- Yankees donate $150,000 to charity to get Alex Rodriguez his 3,000th hit ball 14
- Mike Scioscia says Josh Hamilton should apologize to Angels owner Arte Moreno 75
- Settling the Scores: Thursday’s results 52
- Breaking: Cardinals fire their scouting director, likely due to the Astros hacking scandal 61
- Bryce Harper is naked in ESPN’s “Body Issue” 54
- Today is the day: Marlins ace Jose Fernandez returns from Tommy John surgery 4
- A-Rod, the Yankees and the union in talks to direct his $6 million home run bonus to charity 29
- With the same-sex marriage decision, the San Francisco Giants get another big win (277)
- Settling the Scores: Sunday’s results (99)
- What Yasiel Puig being a pain in the butt means. And what it doesn’t mean. (78)
- Report: Jerry Dipoto “definitely out” as Angels GM (77)
- There was a super ump show in Chicago yesterday (75)