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And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights

Apr 5, 2011, 5:30 AM EDT

Rafael Soriano

Yankees 4, Twins 3: The Yankees got a solid six innings from Ivan Nova and then went Joba-Soriano-Mo for the seventh, eighth and ninth. Since this is obviously a strength of the team and will become a recurring pattern, I’m going to preempt all of the cheeseball broadcasters and columnists who like to apply nicknames to would-be teams of destiny or, at the very least, their component parts: the back end of the Yankees bullpen is JoSoMo. You can put the inflection wherever you want. It doesn’t matter, because the point is to create something catchy enough to stick but lame enough to where everyone will feel a little bit dumb repeating it.  Say it with me: JOsomo. Or joSOmo.  Whatever. I really don’t care!

Braves 2, Brewers 1: One of those days where both of the starters — Brandon Beachy and Chris Narveson — deserved to win, but the difference makers in this one were the pens. Takashi Saito served up gopher balls to Martin Prado and Dan Uggla while Peter Moylan, Jonny Venters and Craig Kimbrel shut down the Brew Crew in the seventh, eighth and ninth. Kimbrel was particularly impressive, striking out the side to close it out with sick, knee-high mid-to-upper 90s heat.  If he has banished the control problems he had in the minors, forget about it National League. And, what the hell, let’s try it: MoyVenKim. Er, well, maybe not. Sounds like something you don’t want to order at the non-specific Asian restaurant in the strip mall next to the check cashing place that puts out the “under new management” sign every eight months. Or, if you change the inflection a bit, it could be a Yiddish word my Aunt Ruth used to say all the time to refer to minorities in a derogatory fashion while in polite company. (“I’m telling you dahlink, that moyvenkim down at the oriental place really messed up my order of Moy-Ven-Kim yesterday. Just inedible. And such small portions!”)

Orioles 5, Tigers 1: Break up the O’s! Baltimore wins again, moving to 4-0 on the season, which is their best start in 14 years. Once again young pitching comes through, with Jake Arrieta giving up one run over six innings. On offense the big shot came on a Brian Roberts three-run bomb off Rick Porcello who at one time, I assure you, was thought of as the Next Big Thing even if he hasn’t looked it for a while.

Cubs 4, Diamondbacks 1:  Damp, chilly and windy conditions led to a ghost town in Wrigley. Indeed, there may have been more seagulls swarming the field than there were fans in the stands. No matter, though, as Alfonso Soriano had a homer and an RBI single and Randy Wells, while a bit wild at times, was able to shut the Diamondbacks down after a leadoff homer. A leadoff homer to Willie Bloomquist, I should note, which would automatically count as seven runs against the pitcher who surrendered it if I were in charge of baseball, but sadly, I am not.

Pirates 4, Cardinals 3: Charlie Morton was arguably baseball’s worst starter last season. Last night: one run on three hits in six innings. He also walked five, but who’s counting? Oh, Major League Baseball, its member clubs, several statistics organizations and every fan who was keeping score during the game? Well, fine, but he got away with it. All of the Buccos’ runs came in the sixth via a Neil Walker double and an Andrew McCutcheon homer.

Rangers 6, Mariners 4: The Rangers remain perfect. Nelson Cruz has homered in all four games this season. If he keeps that up, man, it will be like a record or something.

  1. yankeesfanlen - Apr 5, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    What a contract year will do for you! Jorge has become the first DH that can be designated to hit for the Yankees in quite a while.
    He’s quickly regressing to his 2006-7 numbers, hope he doesn’t want another 3 years.

    • nixonotis - Apr 5, 2011 at 12:59 PM

      Whether he wants one year, two years, or 10 years, he will not be in a Yankee uniform next season.

    • youcantpredictbaseball - Apr 5, 2011 at 1:11 PM

      Matsui didn’t hit in 2009? Thames last year?

  2. hooks024 - Apr 5, 2011 at 7:53 AM

    Not to poo poo on your cleverness, Craig, but Michael Kay mentioned “Jo-Sor-Mo” during the top of the 9th last night. This is what just about every Yankees fan has been thinking since Thursday, as we haven’t had a truly dominant 7, 8, 9 punch since Quan-Gor-Mo were split up. You’re not the first, preempting everyone else, as you claim to be.

    • yankeesfanlen - Apr 5, 2011 at 7:55 AM

      SSSSHHH! I was gonna let that one pass, John and Suzyn already had it too, and creative thoughts are not their specialty.

      • Craig Calcaterra - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:08 AM

        Oh well. I have mixed feelings then. Sad that I did not, as I believed, coin an idiotic catch phrase. But happy that my ignorance of this fact is because I avoid John, Suzyn and Michael Kay like the plague.

      • Kevin S. - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:13 AM

        A wise decision, Craig. Of course, if you’re on the national broadcast, that relegated you to Rick Sutcliffe and Aaron Boone. Which is, if possible, even worse.

      • Craig Calcaterra - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:15 AM

        Actually, I gave that game a miss last night. I watched the last two episodes of Season 3 of “Breaking Bad” instead.

      • Kevin S. - Apr 5, 2011 at 9:18 AM

        Heh, if I didn’t have a rooting interest in that game, I’d agree that watching Breaking Bad was a better way to spend the time.

      • bigharold - Apr 5, 2011 at 11:03 AM

        “But happy that my ignorance of this fact is because I avoid John, Suzyn and Michael Kay like the plague.”

        I don’t know Craig. You know what they say; Great minds think a like. Of course so do deceased ones.

  3. Jonny 5 - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:17 AM

    Commander Toad and the empire’s last 6 outs?

    • yankeesfanlen - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:21 AM

      Yeah, I’ve got a couple of good ones stored up too, for when the moratorium is iver.

      • Utley's Hair - Apr 5, 2011 at 11:46 AM

        Is Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride one of them?

    • Utley's Hair - Apr 5, 2011 at 11:42 AM

      I’m harkening back to RoMadLidge.

  4. Professor Longnose - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    I prefer ChamRianVera.

  5. phukyouk - Apr 5, 2011 at 8:55 AM

    so when Joba starts to fall apart and Robertson takes over its going to be RoSoMo? and then when Robertson doesn’t work out and Feliciano takes over is FeSoMo? these all sound like Algebra abbreviations and I fu*king HATED algebra!

  6. tmohr - Apr 5, 2011 at 9:04 AM

    “MoyVenKim” sounds particularly good if you imagine Professor John Frink saying it.

    • mckludge - Apr 5, 2011 at 11:54 AM

      With the curving and the beaning and the ga-HEY!!

  7. sdelmonte - Apr 5, 2011 at 9:12 AM

    I know it works, but I just don’t like the current approach to using one-inning relievers so extensively. I miss the days of starters who could go seven or eight on a regular basis and closers who could go two or three innings.

    But those days are long gone, aren’t they?

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Apr 5, 2011 at 9:55 AM

      Or those days never really happened. Table courtesy of Joe Pos via FJM:

      1956: 6.41 innings per start.
      1963: 6.50 innings per start.
      1968: 6.66 innings per start.
      1971: 6.60 innings per start.
      1977: 6.30 innings per start.
      1980: 6.33 innings per start.
      1985: 6.22 innings per start.
      1990: 6.06 innings per start.
      1995: 5.90 innings per start.
      1998: 6.06 innings per start.
      2001: 5.92 innings per start.
      2004: 5.86 innings per start.
      2008: 5.85 innings per start.

      50 years, two fewer outs a game.

      • nixonotis - Apr 5, 2011 at 1:01 PM

        Do you have any idea how many times I’ve copied and pasted that on various message boards? But, hey, why should people let facts get in the way or a good story?

  8. drunkenhooliganism - Apr 5, 2011 at 10:13 AM

    If you combine the beginning of Moylan, the middle of Venters and the end of Kimbrel, They could be called MENTEL

  9. explodet - Apr 5, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Can we start an internet-wide campaign to spread awareness about how to spell McCutchen’s last name? It’s going to look really bad in a couple years when he’s a perennial All-Star and people are still adding that non-existant “o”.

    • Kevin S. - Apr 5, 2011 at 12:03 PM

      To be fair, the Yankees had a lesser prospect (coincidentally enough traded to the Pirates) named Dan McCutcheon. I recall getting excited about this new Yankee super-prospect coming up, only to realize they had the mediocre one.

      That’s probably the source of the misspellings.

      • explodet - Apr 5, 2011 at 2:00 PM

        Except Daniel’s last name is McCutchen too.

  10. mattraw - Apr 5, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    Oooh I wanna take you down to JoSoMo
    We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow…

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