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OK, Francona: what have you done with the real Daisuke Matsuzaka?

Apr 18, 2011, 2:04 PM EDT

Daisuke Matsuzaka

Patriots’ Day in Boston means three things: the Boston Marathon, drinking at 8AM and an 11AM start for the Red Sox game.  Which, in turn, gives you plenty of time after 2PM or so to go and have some more beers. I could at least enjoy one of those things today, what the Red Sox-Blue Jays game on my little television.  It just went final: the Red Sox win 9-1.

The offensive explosion was something to behold — with Jed Lowrie going 4 for 5 with a homer and 4 RBI — but the real shocker here was Daisuke Matsuzaka.  Or at least, whoever it was that was wearing his uniform today, because I’ve never seen Dice-K this efficient and effective.  He threw 89 pitches in eight innings while giving up only one hit and walking only one guy.  He had a five-pitch inning for cryin’ out loud.  I’m fairly certain it was someone else pitching while the real Dice-K sits tied up in a storage locker someplace. Or, if you insist on ignoring my conspiracy theories, you can chalk it up to the week between starts. He has always done better on extra rest, so fine, maybe he hasn’t been kidnapped.

Of course, with Lowrie breaking out like he has lately, perhaps Marco Scutaro may be the next one to show up on the missing persons list. Because I don’t think we’ll be seeing him for a while.

Three straight wins for the Sox. Are they over the early season funk?

  1. marshmallowsnake - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    Maybe he actually cared for this start?

  2. BC - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Maybe Lackey ate the real Dice-K?

    • rollinghighwayblues - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:35 PM

      Or the real Carl Crawford for that matter. I know he got a double today but thats about all the Sox have gotten from him. He is having awful at bats and looks utterly lost up there at the plate.

  3. The Dangerous Mabry - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:34 PM

    The gyroball only works before noon.

    • BC - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:35 PM

      Question of the day: If you pitch in the Southern Hemisphere, does the gyroball spin the other way?

      • The Dangerous Mabry - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:38 PM

        See, that’s the kind of hard-hitting journalism that NBC should be providing instead of the “soft news” we get here day in and day out.

  4. Ari Collins - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:54 PM

    Correction: it was 7 innings. But your points still stand.

  5. trevorb06 - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:55 PM

    “but the real shocker here was Daisuke Matsuzaka. Or at least, whoever it was that was wearing his uniform today, because I’ve never seen Dice-K this efficient and effective.”

    –Craig… are you trying to say that all us asian people look alike?!

    • cur68 - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:59 PM

      If so, Trevor, then he’s gonna have hell since Okajima’s been activated. Better pay attention to your rightys/leftys Craig.

      • dfensfelix - Apr 18, 2011 at 5:17 PM

        Wouldn’t be a comment section without cur68’s imaginary rapport with Craig…

      • Craig Calcaterra - Apr 18, 2011 at 5:28 PM

        That’s a strange thing to say, dfensfelix. Lots of commenters talk directly to me, and I talk back to them. Including cur68, who has been a valuable contributor here for a long time.

        He knows — as do many who frequent this place — that I read all of the comments that come in on posts I write. I appreciate it and I perceive the comments that are addressed like that to be part of a conversation, even if it is a loose one.

      • trevorb06 - Apr 18, 2011 at 5:43 PM

        Somebody is jealous master Craig won’t let him into the minion gang.

  6. saucepaws - Apr 18, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    I don’t see how Scutaro gets back in the lineup any time soon after the weekend Lowrie’s had.

    • fanoredsox - Apr 18, 2011 at 8:08 PM

      I think that Scutaro may have just “unworked” himself out of a job. Lowrie has always been a decent player and the fans love the guy. I felt that the Sox had what they needed in Lowrie and that Scutaro was a huge stretch for the money they paid him. Then again the Sox have never asked me for my opinion.

  7. JBerardi - Apr 18, 2011 at 3:06 PM

    “I’m fairly certain it was someone else pitching while the real Dice-K sits tied up in a storage locker someplace. Or, if you insist on ignoring my conspiracy theories, you can chalk it up to the week between starts.”

    Meh. I’m going to assume you don’t watch a lot of Matsuzaka starts, Craig, because you are sane. As someone masochistic enough to actually watch the guy on a regular basis, however, this seemed like fairly classic Matsuzaka to me. Get absolutely shelled a few times, throw a few (less) gems, scatter a ton of mediocre-at-best high pitch count five inning outings around, maybe hit the DL for a month or two, and you’ve got yourself a standard Dice-K season.

  8. Jonny 5 - Apr 18, 2011 at 3:18 PM

    Didn’t he also look as effective against the Phillies last season? One time?

    • kellyb9 - Apr 18, 2011 at 3:33 PM

      Interleague play and the Boston Red Sox = Slump for the Phillies… I swear it happens every year.

    • cur68 - Apr 18, 2011 at 3:37 PM

      I knew one of you guys would try to turn this into a Phillies post. So predictable. Craig: stop bashing the Phillies. There I’ve said if or you.

      • Jonny 5 - Apr 18, 2011 at 4:12 PM


      • dfensfelix - Apr 18, 2011 at 5:21 PM

        “Dear Craig: PLEASE pay attention to me! Your imaginary friend, cur68”

      • cur68 - Apr 18, 2011 at 5:58 PM

        densefelix; In case you hadn’t noticed, this is a baseball blog. I’m commenting on baseball issues with a baseball writer and other baseball fans like lots of people do. If your little girl underpants are in a bunch over something I’ve said to you at some point; please get ready for them to crawl higher up because I could really have a nice time baiting someone as douchey as you who hasn’t anything better to do than hound another person over trivia. Now, unless you really want to get into it with me, do go away; there’s a good little troll.

  9. Paul - Apr 18, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    What about the theory that Varitek had something to do with this? Has Tek caught any other Dice-K starts this year?

  10. pisano - Apr 18, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    The leopard sheds the fur,but never the spots. The real Matsu-ca-ca will return soon enough. He’s good for 2 to 3 good starts out of ten, but closer to 2. Good luck ca-ca

    • JBerardi - Apr 18, 2011 at 8:15 PM

      Matsu-ca-ca, huh? Clever, but little did you know that Boras insisted on including a rubber/glue clause in Matsuzaka’s contract. I regret to inform you that whatever you say about him bounces off and sticks to you. Well, he’s one hell of an agent…

  11. rje49 - Apr 18, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    Like most folks, I had to go to work this morning. Over the years, I’ve seen the Sox get pounded many times on Patriot’s Day, so my prediction for today was that either Dice-K would leave by the 3rd, down by 10 runs, or he’d pitched a no-hitter. I had such a hectic day that I never checked the scores until it was over, and then I nearly fainted. Wow.

    • Cyn - Apr 19, 2011 at 8:48 AM

      Since April of 2000 the Red Sox have lost 3 games on Patriots’ Day and the only one of those games where the Sox were “pounded” was last year when the Rays beat them 8-2 (completing a series sweep).

      Maybe it’s nitpicking, but writing that you’ve seen them pounded many times and using that as an expectation of their losing yesterday just reeks of a bandwagon fan who listens to the rantings on WEEI more than actually watching games.

  12. dfensfelix - Apr 18, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Let me work on devolving my style into something a little more florid and masturbatory and I’ll get back to you cur68. It should be a much more even square-off then…

    • cur68 - Apr 18, 2011 at 8:35 PM

      Interesting. You jump straight to onanism. Says a lot about you. And “florid”; well now, that’s gonna make me cry. Why don’t you go back to appeals to everyone to jump in with you? That was working equally as well. Oh, and keep giving yourself the old “thumb up” like it isn’t obvious you’re doing it for yourself. Fits right in with your “masturbatory” mentality. I’m sure whatever it is I’ve done to you is worth this kind of self revelatory behavior. On that note little doggie, perhaps you could explain to me, and blogdom in general, just why you’ve decided to nip at MY heels? Surely I’ve done something truly cruel and unusual to warrant your attention. Perhaps I said something in opposition to you nipping at someone else? Actually I bet that’s it. I’m always doing stuff like that. Can’t help myself, I suppose. I’ve never been able to stand douchebags like you who only check in to criticize and belittle. Does some poor ball club have the misfortune to have you as a fan or is your sole purpose for writing here merely a way to show the world what fucktard you are?

      • dfensfelix - Apr 18, 2011 at 9:02 PM

        I forgot grating and self-aggrandizing…

      • cur68 - Apr 18, 2011 at 9:46 PM

        C’mon ‘felix, answer the questions. I’ll re-state in short form for you;

        1) Why me? Its not that I mind, I just like knowing why we’re scrapping.

        2) What club has the misfortune of being your true love?

        I merely ask to give myself another rooting interest in baseball; I’ll be instantly rooting for whomever is playing against the club who has the misfortune to feel the no doubt oily caresses of your attentions.

        Did you see what I did there? I’m working on my florid. Just for you little doggie…

    • pellypell - Apr 19, 2011 at 11:02 AM

      dfensfelix, I don’t know if this is your way of showing you want a bromance with Cur(2nd grade flirting, pretending you don’t like him), but please, contact him in private. Nobody want’s to filter through your “noise” Contribute, or beat it!

  13. jimbo1949 - Apr 18, 2011 at 8:33 PM

    Please: Do not feed the bridge substructure symbionts.

    • cur68 - Apr 18, 2011 at 9:50 PM

      jimbo; at this point I can’t help myself. Its a bit too easy, but hell, I need the laughs. I gave you a + thumb click, BTW to counteract the down he gave you. Wouldn’t want you thinking you were alone with him.

  14. pellypell - Apr 19, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Nice to see Lowrie auditioning. With Jose Iglesias due up at some point and already annointed the SS of the future, where will Lowrie fit?

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