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Mike Leake does not know how to exchange merchandise

Apr 20, 2011, 10:30 AM EDT

Leake_Mike

That diversion program that Mike Leake‘s lawyer is trying to get him into requires the participant to admit his guilt first.  In light of that, let’s hope that this report from a Cincinnati TV stadion (hat tip to Big League Stew) doesn’t represent Leake’s current talking points on the incident:

A reliable source tells me that Leake did indeed pay for T-shirts some time prior to yesterday’s episode. And only in the process of clumsily trying to exchange them, did he run afoul of, if not the law, then certainly the dictates of common sense.

Um, OK. I guess I could possibly buy the notion of someone being so clueless about how retail transactions go that he thinks you can simply walk in to a store and make an exchange without telling anyone.  But then again, I’m a pushover and I buy a lot of things I probably shouldn’t buy.

  1. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Apr 20, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Craig, I have this burlap sack with a question mark on it that contains a mystery prize. I can sell it to you for $1 million. Better move quick because I’m getting a lot of interest.

  2. trevorb06 - Apr 20, 2011 at 10:39 AM

    Craig, it’s guys like you that heyman/boras invented the mystery team for. :-)

  3. cur68 - Apr 20, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Homey, please! That better not be the excuse they go with. He should cop to being a damn fool or it was a bet or something like that. Otherwise, Leake needs a minder for when he’s out in public; the simple issues of every day life totally elude him.

    • Utley's Hair - Apr 20, 2011 at 12:01 PM

      Did you say “homey?” I knew things were slower paced in Canadia and all, but I had no idea it was that slow paced.

      • cur68 - Apr 20, 2011 at 12:23 PM

        I did say ‘homey’. Its a term I grew up with and I still call my (boy) dog that (as in “Homey, why you chewing my shoe? That just aint cool”. He always looks so ashamed when I address him thusly; its really a term I only drag out for being disappointed). What term do you ‘young people’ prefer? I fear I may have fallen behind in the times…

      • Utley's Hair - Apr 20, 2011 at 12:31 PM

        Wait a minute…let me turn up my hearing aid…that’s better…now, what did you say again?

  4. shawnuel - Apr 20, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    I can actually buy this. But I would not attribute Leake’s action to “cluelessness” as much as to an athletes out of proportion sense of entitlement.

    • saints97 - Apr 20, 2011 at 11:20 AM

      If you are buying that excuse, check out the first comment above. I bet you could probably talk Heyward down to half a million if your slick.

  5. pellypell - Apr 20, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    Reading his bio at http://thesundevils.cstv.com/sports/m-basebl/mtt/leake_mike00.html . He lists his favorite team as the Seattle Mariners. This guy can’t do shit right!

  6. marshmallowsnake - Apr 20, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    If excuses like this only worked for your average every day person…

  7. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Apr 20, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    If the shirts did not fit, you must acquit.

    • Gobias Industries - Apr 20, 2011 at 1:34 PM

      Ooohhh! OJ jokes! I want in!

      From the same Cincinnati TV station report:

      “The reliable source went on to tell me that OJ was simply trying to let Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman borrow his new shiny knife. And only in the process of clumsily trying to hand it to them, did he run afoul of, if not the law, then certainly the dictates of common sense by inadvertently stabbing them numerous times until they were…you know…dead.”

  8. superpriebe - Apr 20, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    Maybe I’m in need of a scolding, but there have been occasions upon which I’ve decided to exchange merchandise without going through all of the proper motions.

    For instance, I got the wrong $2 tube of caulking. There is a 45 minute lineup for customer service, and I have a 1-year-old with me. I asked someone in the department to do the exchange, and they directed me to the long lineup. I then put back the wrong tube and took the right one – same price point, same brand, same model/make/etc, just the different color. I did make a good faith effort to get an employee to help. Really, is that worthy of 200 hours of community service and a $250 fine?

    I’m not defending Leake here, as I think it is altogether possible that he gets a thrill out of stealing stuff. But an honest mistake is an honest mistake, and if that’s the case, I don’t support the law making an example of a guy because he’s got a high profile. Even if he’s a buffoon who should have been able to figure out how to exchange his shirts.

    The linked story dismisses this as an honest mistake, citing that Leake is willing to do the program. Couldn’t that just be his path of least resistance? I mean, I assume he does a fair bit of community work anyway, as most ballplayers do, and the fine is a drop in the bucket. I don’t take that course of action as necessarily inconsistent with this being an honest mistake.

    • yitzak - Apr 21, 2011 at 8:11 AM

      Yeah, that obeying the rules stuff is for “other people.” not you since you have a child. You are lile Mr Leake, since you have things to do and since you have a child you are entitled to steal. Same entitlement crap. You did not make a good faith effort to return to item, You did not follow the legal rules of the store. I hope the child with you did not learn how to steal. So standing in line for 45 mins is for all those patsies who obey the law, SInce you have a child you are above doing the right thing, way to go.

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