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Most predictable thing ever: Charlie Sheen bails Lenny Dykstra out of jail

Apr 26, 2011, 10:59 AM EDT

Thelma and Louise

Of course this happened:

Charlie Sheen paid $22,500 to bail former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny “Nails” Dykstra out of jail, TMZ reported Tuesday.

Nails had been jailed for bankruptcy fraud. When he bailed him out, Sheen said some bullsh** about him being a Vatican assassin and him being a warlock or something. No, I’m not making that up.

If there is any justice in the world, this is the opening act of dramatic road trip with those two which ends with both of them driving off a cliff, “Thelma and Louise”-style.  Which would be an absolute insult to Thelma and Louise, each of whom are fictional characters with far more real world worth than either of these two doorknobs have.

  1. cur68 - Apr 26, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    They deserve each other. Lets hope they don’t have children together.

  2. a125125125 - Apr 26, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Charlie’s next mission? He’s saving Darren Daulton from aliens. A vatican assassin’s work is never done.

  3. Mark Armour - Apr 26, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    The night OJ drove around in the Ford Bronco, I turned to my girlfriend (now wife) and said, “The best thing that could happen right now, for OJ and for all of us, would be if he drove that rig off a cliff.” She was shocked by this, but I continue to believe that I was right.

    I suspect Dykstra and Sheen have more damage to inflict on all of us. And that it will get worse.

  4. yankeesfanlen - Apr 26, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    That would be a terrible waste of a perfectly good ’66 Thunderbird.

    • bigharold - Apr 26, 2011 at 4:18 PM

      It’d be a waste of a broken down beat up T-Bird too.

  5. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Apr 26, 2011 at 11:14 AM

    C’mon Craig, call Nails a douchenozzle. You know you wanna.

  6. Panda Claus - Apr 26, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    I think Lindsay gets first chance at “shotgun”, replacing the departed “goddess”. Lenny is relegated to the back seat.

  7. pisano - Apr 26, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    That is certainly a pair to draw to. I’m at a loss, maybe Charlie will turn Nails on to one of his scumbag sluts.

  8. goforthanddie - Apr 26, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    I guess Sheen’s tour is bombing and he needed an attention fix.

  9. craigsmom - Apr 26, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    Put Craig Calcaterra in the trunk and I’ll pay for the gas.

    • cur68 - Apr 26, 2011 at 12:37 PM

      dirtyharry1971, is that you? Sure smells like you.

      • Utley's Hair - Apr 26, 2011 at 3:01 PM

        Don’t know about this one, but dirtyharry1971 made his unprovoked aromatic presence known on the Cholly post over yonder.

  10. WhenMattStairsIsKing - Apr 26, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    “Of course I’d bail out a dyke! What am I, Napoleon III? Do I look like an armadillo to you?” Sheen said.

  11. Chipmaker - Apr 26, 2011 at 1:05 PM

    Let Lenny drive. He’s got experience at this sort of thing.,2149569&dq=dykstra+daulton+crash&hl=en

  12. henryd3rd - Apr 26, 2011 at 4:03 PM

    Nails must have served in Sheen’s “Platoon” in Vietnam? Hence he bailed out one of his Vietnam brothers. Welcome Home!

  13. gmsingh - Apr 26, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    The court clerk was overheard to say “Winning!”

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