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His name was Brandon Kalantzis. His name was Brandon Kalantzis.

May 4, 2011, 10:30 AM EST

Drunk idiot.bmp

No, not Robert Paulson. Brandon Kalantzis, the dude who got totally destroyed after running on to the field at the Red Sox game on Monday night.  And now he tells his tale.

And yes, he’s almost exactly what you’d suspect him to be like. Go Sox, indeed.

(h/t to Buzzfeed)

  1. halladaysbicepts - May 4, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    Yeah, this guy is a real winner. He says it was a dream of his to run onto the field and be on the same field with his team.

    30 days in jail is what this 26yr old deserves. Running onto a baseball field while a game is being played is the biggest violation you can commit at a sporting event.

    Continue to be proud, Brandon.

    • bloodysock - May 4, 2011 at 3:54 PM

      “Running onto a baseball field while a game is being played is the biggest violation you can commit at a sporting event.”

      Brian Stow and many others would disagree.

  2. mattraw - May 4, 2011 at 11:04 AM

    “You might wonder, why the heck would someone do this?”

    How about to get a whole 2 minutes on the local news, where you can show everybody that its not a big deal and more or less dare other fans to try it? Nice job, guys.

  3. phukyouk - May 4, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    I’d be more impressed if he were shot in the back of the head and all the players gathered around him saying “His name was Brandon Kalantzis”

  4. Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 11:18 AM

    Wait…what? Huh? Are you sure this wasn’t at the Bank? ‘Cause I was under the impression that stupid crap like this only happened in Philly.

    • fquaye149 - May 4, 2011 at 12:18 PM

      You know, I didn’t have all that negative opinion about Phillies fans, despite their media portrayal, until I started reading the comments on this blog and saw a bunch of them trying to start obnoxious shouting matches every time bad fan behavior came up, irrespective of whether the Phillies were involved or not. So, you know, good for you guys. Keep fighting the good fight.

      • Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 12:36 PM

        Wow…you must not be exposed too much to sarcasm…or my posts for that matter.

      • fquaye149 - May 4, 2011 at 2:20 PM

        I’ve read many, many posts by you and Jonny 5. I realize you’re being sarcastic here, but I also see you guys time and time again hyper-defensive any time anyone hints at saying anything remotely negative about Phillies fans. Yeah, you’re being mildly ironic in this post, but in the same defensive and confrontational way you two always seem to react about the implication that Phillies fans are excessively confrontational. Like I said, good on ya, but it’s hardly doing anything to change my opinion about Phillies fans being loudmouthed and confrontational about things they don’t need to be. And as I said before I generally didn’t believe the hype about Phillies fans. Still don’t, but you guys sure aren’t helping matters.

      • fquaye149 - May 4, 2011 at 2:22 PM

        Also, it’s mildly amusing in a slightly annoying way how any time anyone brings up fan violence or bad behavior–no matter if the Phil’s aren’t involved and absolutely no one in the comments thread has brought them up–you two manage to find a way to shoehorn in some wry invective about how “I thought only Phillies fans were ever bad ever! Heh heh heh”. Shrug-a-dug-dug

      • Utley's Hair - May 5, 2011 at 1:58 AM

        Well, since you’ve dragged Jonny 5 into this and said that he does that, you are obviously insane, so I should just let it go.

        However, any time I mention the Phillies or Philly fans in general, one of two things is the case. Either:

        1.) I am being sarcastic as I am here, which is generally around the same time that another post has recently—i.e., that day or within the previous day or two—taken shots or issue with Phillies or Philly fans; or
        2.) Somebody else has seen fit to drag Philly fans into the fray.

        Now, if you can provide proof to the contrary, please feel free to provide it.

  5. itsacurse - May 4, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    Somebody get Kris Medlen to set this dude straight!

  6. kcroyal - May 4, 2011 at 12:02 PM

    Oh hell…he seems like a nice enough dude. A dumbass, sure, but nice enough.Obviously he wasn’t going to hurt anyone. The media messed up by putting the kid on the news. Now he recieves fame for his stupidity.

  7. Old Gator - May 4, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Put him up against the wall. Six Boston cops with beanbag guns, one of which is loaded with water balloons.

    • BC - May 4, 2011 at 12:50 PM

      Or what about caning him? Like they did to that dude that spit his gum out in Singapore?

      • Old Gator - May 4, 2011 at 2:44 PM

        He got caned for graffiti. They had six guys with canes, one of which was actually just a piece of rubber hose. They don’t tell you which one is the fake, though.

  8. marshmallowsnake - May 4, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    People like this is why I am glad I moved from Massachusetts… Being a Sox fan, I can honestly say that I find it rather hard to like other Sox fans…

  9. marshmallowsnake - May 4, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    “They’ll never experience anything like that.”

    Seriously, would anyone willingly want to experience a hit like that? C’mon Brandon…smarten up killer!

  10. mcs7584 - May 4, 2011 at 2:15 PM

    “And yes, he’s almost exactly what you’d suspect him to be like.”

    And yes, it was a Fox News report. Also exactly what I’d expect it to be.

  11. Old Gator - May 4, 2011 at 2:49 PM

    Ah Craig, you never let up on Beanbag fans, do you? What is the problem, anyway? Don’t you know how monotonous it is to read your constant rags against these people? Don’t you realize this was the city where the American Revolution began – the city that gave the Tea Party its name???? Why is it that you can’t resist every opportunity to deride the Beanbags and the classy, generous-of-spirit, clam sandwich chomping (no artery choking velveeta!) enthusiasts of this proud franchise and drag them through the mud? Aren’t you capable even of a quark-sized iota of objectivity?

    Meh.

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