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Luke Scott on Obama’s birth certificate: “Anybody can produce a document”

May 4, 2011, 12:00 PM EDT

Scott_Luke

That sound you hear is Luke Scott‘s agent and most of the Orioles’ front office simultaneously slapping their hands to their foreheads in exasperation as they read Sam Mellinger’s column in today’s Kansas City Star. You know, the one in which Luke Scott continues to be a birther despite the release of Obama’s birth certificate:

“(President Obama’s) birth certificate has yet to be validated … If they can counterfeit $100 bills, I think it’s a million times easier to counterfeit a birth certificate, if you ask me. So, all it is, let’s just see if it’s real. Anybody can produce a document, so let’s check it out.”

The rest of Mellinger’s column is, as usually, pretty sharp. Like me, he’s not going to lose sleep that there are people like Luke Scott playing baseball for a living. I mean, they’re paid to hit and throw the ball, not hold forth on the topics of the day.

But even so, you can’t help but marvel at the crazy seeping from his pores.

  1. iDroidX - May 4, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    So Luke, can you counterfeit a birth certificate?

    • Old Gator - May 4, 2011 at 12:06 PM

      It’s not “crazy.” It’s “imbecility.” Talk about a hillbilly. I wonder how many nipples and different types of reproductive organs he has.

  2. kcroyal - May 4, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    Too much Glenn Beck is bad for the brain.

    • Old Gator - May 4, 2011 at 12:07 PM

      The detachment begins with the retinas, then extends to the frontal lobes. The stuff that holds your brain together begins to behave like wet scotch tape. Pretty soon, you’re a Republican.

      • raysfan1 - May 4, 2011 at 9:08 PM

        As a Republican, I can vouch that the process only hurts for a moment.
        .
        Now, in all seriousness, we had to ditch the John Birchers once. Now we must take aim at the birthers and one-note singers (any group within the party that judges all based on one issue a la the “Tea Party” faction). Most of us are capable of speaking without drooling, walking without dragging our knuckles, have normal frontal lobes, and can actually reason logically. Unfortunately, our party is currently being colored by the loudmouths.

      • Old Gator - May 5, 2011 at 12:39 AM

        Unfortunately, the whole country is being colored by them. I travel abroad quite a bit – I like broads – especially to our steadfast ally, Great Britain, or Al-Britain as it’s called in the tandooris. My friends frequently ask me what’s wrong with us. I’ve heard that a lot since Bush was re-elected. My French friends don’t bother me much – they’re too busy laughing their asses off over “freedom fries” and bombing Libyans to show us that they’re not wussies and that their demurral over Iraq was a matter of just being smarter than we were. All of this makes it more difficult for me to convince them to stop wasting their time on backandforthandbackandforthandbackandforthball and try watching some baseball games instead. But I continue to fight the good fight.

        BTW, where ya been lately?

      • raysfan1 - May 5, 2011 at 1:03 AM

        Still in the military for a few months until I retire & get a new job. Went quite a while having my laptop and this site not getting along–could read but couldn’t post. Finally upgraded my software, ditched McAfee and voila, I’m back.

  3. halladaysbicepts - May 4, 2011 at 12:08 PM

    Luke is a true American patriot (LOLs).

    Just shut up and play ball, you dumb s*it. MLB players should keep their political views to themselves.

    Don’t care, Luke. Might want to improve on that .257 batting average, though.

    • Tim OShenko - May 4, 2011 at 1:02 PM

      I don’t mind ballplayers (or people of any profession, really) sharing their political views. I don’t even mind them sharing CRAZY political views. This is America, land of free speech, etc. etc.

      What irritates me, though, is people who desperately cling to their crazy political views in the face of all evidence to the contrary.

      Sorry, Luke, you were wrong. Shrug your shoulders, admit it was a mistake buying into all this horsecrap, and move on.

    • randomdigits - May 4, 2011 at 1:06 PM

      What decade are you living in? Batting average? Is that you Joe Morgan?

      Oddball views aside Luke has an OPS of 862 ATM and is starting one of his hot streaks.

      • halladaysbiceps - May 4, 2011 at 5:48 PM

        Your probably a sabremetrics puke, jackass. The only things that have mattered with baseball is average, HR, and RBIs. Your WAR statistics are meaningless.

  4. mcs7584 - May 4, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    ” … if you ask me.”

    Hey, Luke. Nobody asked you.

    • tomemos - May 4, 2011 at 12:30 PM

      How I wish that were true, but if there’s a column the columnist probably called him up.

    • The Common Man/www.platoonadvantage.com - May 4, 2011 at 12:32 PM

      Um…yeah, someone did ask him. Which is why this article was written. At this point, it’s best to point and laugh at the baboon in the clubhouse, because there is absolutely no way his mind will ever change.

  5. nps6724 - May 4, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Where is Luke Scott’s birth certificate? May we examine it?

    • aceshigh11 - May 4, 2011 at 12:18 PM

      Hey now…he’s white and has an all-American name. Leave him alone!

      We only question people if they have excess melanin and “Hussein” for a middle name.

  6. weinerpoop - May 4, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Dear Luke Scott,

    Shut the @#$% up and play baseball. No one gives a @#$% what you think.

    Sincerely,
    Everyone

  7. aceshigh11 - May 4, 2011 at 12:16 PM

    Wow…this guy is off-the-charts paranoid. Someone needs to double their Thorazine dosage.

    These birthers still haven’t presented (and I’m not expecting) WHY they think this labyrinthine conspiracy was supposedly concocted 50 years ago in the first place.

    And you have to believe that if the co-conspirators were so brilliant and devious to have gotten Obama elected, they WOULDN’T in the first place have chosen as their “Manchurian candidate” a mixed-race man with a Kenyan father named Barack HUSSEIN Obama, ESPECIALLY 50 years ago.

    At least they would’ve changed his name to something more traditionally palatable to the American electorate, like, say, Michael Jordan.

    This Scott guy is hopelessly stuck on stupid.

    • bigharold - May 4, 2011 at 1:02 PM

      As the profound neo-classical philosopher Ron White has opined; you can’t fix stupid.

    • Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 1:15 PM

      Does he have one of those “I’m with stupid” shirts with the arrow pointing up?

  8. cur68 - May 4, 2011 at 12:16 PM

    Hey! We just had a federal election here in Beaverland. Maybe we should get Luke over to count the votes and check out the PM’s bona fides. Perhaps Stephen Harper was also born on Hawaii? He would certainly liven up Canadian politics no end.

    • Old Gator - May 4, 2011 at 12:29 PM

      Well, at the very least it would improve your weather.

      Hoooohahahahhheheeeeeeehooohoohoohoo…..

      • cur68 - May 4, 2011 at 1:37 PM

        At this point Gator, a nuclear strike would improve the effing weather.

    • Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 1:51 PM

      Wait…we can deport Luke Scott? And Canadia will take him? WOOHOO!!!! You guys are all right—I don’t care what Gator says about your maple syrup habits.

      • cur68 - May 4, 2011 at 2:24 PM

        We’ll take him and 2 first round draft picks but only if you throw Brian Roberts into the deal. If not, we’ll cultivate crappy teen boy singing sensations & stick thin old man lovin chanteuses to send over the border. Capitulate now or Beiber and Dion go on tour together. Phily will be their first stop.

      • Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 2:33 PM

        Never…ever…ever…ever use the words “capitulate,” “Bieber” and “Dion” in the same sentence again. “Capitulate” looks way too much like “copulate”—especially when you read it really fast.

        Besides, Luke Scott wouldn’t know what the word means.

      • jwbiii - May 4, 2011 at 2:54 PM

        If you throw in Caroline Dhavernas and Leonard Cohen, I think we can begin a dialogue.

  9. kcroyal - May 4, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    I want to see his birth certificate. I mean come on…two first names? Sounds a little fishy.

  10. kellyb9 - May 4, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    Well… they don’t pay him for his brain I guess.

    • Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 1:18 PM

      The jar was labeled Abby…someone….

  11. APBA Guy - May 4, 2011 at 12:21 PM

    The more interesting question is whether Scott has morphed from sheer stupidity to stupidity+celebrity. Is he conscious that his crazy birtherism will yield all kinds of notoriety? If so, is he now doing it precisely for the attention? Ask yourself, do you ever mention Luke Scott unless he’s talking crazy? Probably not. And Fox does have a need for sports “journalists”. Look for Luke Scott to be working the Saturday afternoon games in a few years, after he retires, or maybe doing Sports Breaks on “Fox and Friends”.

    And keep reminding yourself, roughly half of Republicans believed that Obama was not a US citizen. Luke is one of them. They’ll be happy to watch him.

  12. Joe - May 4, 2011 at 12:22 PM

    You got to know when to hold ‘em, Luke, and know when to fold ‘em. By which I mean, you got to know when to admit you’re wrong or just shut the f— up.

  13. thefalcon123 - May 4, 2011 at 12:23 PM

    I believe Luke Scott has counterfeit stats and is really a terrible hitter. Anyone can fake some numbers in a computer. I mean, his .857 OPS sounds so made up. I believe he can only hit in Kenya and made up his U.S. stats. He has some explaining to do.

  14. bradwins - May 4, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    Has any single individual ever caused the outing an entire group of people to the degree that Obama has outed the right as being complete and utter lunatics totally devoid of reason and totally detached from reality?

    Exposing the right wing as literally “crazy” could end up being the President’s defining legacy, more than even health care or killing bin Laden or anything else.

    I’ve never been witness to such unrelenting and exasperating stupidity.

  15. oikosjeremy - May 4, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    I was kind of hoping that he was a radical Cartesian skeptic, determined to question *everything* until he arrives at some truth so clear and obvious that doubting it would make no sense. The kind of guy who had one too many “How do we KNOW we’re not all just trapped in ‘the matrix’?” conversations in college after his freshman philosophy class. I was even hoping that Luke Scott might turn out to be ‘The One’ who will free our minds and release us into the Real World, while kicking people in the head in slow motion…

    Then I read the bit in the interview where he complains about people who doubt parts of the Bible because there’s no proof: “It’s like people use that as an excuse.”

    Umm, yes Luke, that’s exactly what it’s like. Just amazing, isn’t it, how some people will find any excuse to believe whatever they want to believe? How they’ll just take things on faith, no matter what the evidence is? I mean, don’t they listen to themselves and realize how crazy they sound to other people? Don’t they have any self-awareness?

    • jpeetey - May 4, 2011 at 2:43 PM

      Brilliant.

    • bradwins - May 4, 2011 at 3:37 PM

      Fantastic. Can we get someone to call into an AM radio show and point out that there is far more evidence available to indicate that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii than there is that the earth was made in 7 days, or that the Son of God arose from the dead, or that Noah got two of every species on the planet onto one boat, or that there is a “God” at all?

      I would do it, but I’m sure I would have to listen to whatever program I called into while I waited on hold, which could legitimately lead to me punching myself in the face.

  16. Mark - May 4, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    Stop giving Looney Tunes like Scott a platform to share his fucked up opinions. The media can pretty much shut this story down, by, you know, not reporting his crazy opinions.

    • Craig Calcaterra - May 4, 2011 at 12:40 PM

      Gosh, why on Earth would we want to shut this down? This is the best stuff ever.

      • b7p19 - May 4, 2011 at 3:16 PM

        You’re 100% right. He’s so far gone that it is IMPOSSIBLE to get mad at him. He’s like a character made up by South Park or Family Guy, only he escaped and became a real person.

  17. BC - May 4, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    Memo to Luke Scott: PUT A SOCK IN IT!!! If I want to hear political commentary, I’ll listen to Chris Matthews or George Will. (Admittedly probably the latter, given a lean a bit to the right, and Will went to my alma mater)

  18. thefalcon123 - May 4, 2011 at 12:41 PM

    Remember back in the good ol’ days when you could disagree with someone about politics like adults without accusing the other of hideous crimes or claiming they’re not a citizen? As ol’ Joe McCarthy would say…”No”. He would also add, “You’re a communist”.

    • Jonny 5 - May 4, 2011 at 12:51 PM

      No I do not remember those days.

    • wonkypenguin - May 4, 2011 at 12:52 PM

      This made me laugh out loud.

    • jwbiii - May 4, 2011 at 3:11 PM

      I really miss dinner with my parents. They were more conservative than I am, but after dinner we would shut, wash up, and watch a baseball game.

  19. marshmallowsnake - May 4, 2011 at 12:46 PM

    While he is right, anyone can…and I have seen some interesting evidence that the document released is fake…he really needs to shut the hell up…

    When will sports stars realize that the opinion is worth about as much as yours and mine?

  20. Jonny 5 - May 4, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    Says the guy who hunts caged animals…….

    Really.

  21. paperlions - May 4, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    Funny that these birthers are the exact same group of people that 8 years ago were saying that you should support the president no matter what and to do anything else was unamerican and unpatriotic.
    .
    Racism can be pretty hard to disguise sometimes.

  22. steve keane - May 4, 2011 at 12:59 PM

    It’s only a matter of time before we see Luke Scott come to the plate with a batting helmet made out of aluminum foil

    • Paul White - May 4, 2011 at 1:03 PM

      Oh come one, that’s just silly. Everyone knows the aluminum foil should be used as the helmet LINING. At least, all REAL Americans know that.

  23. xpensivewinos - May 4, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Dumb/crazy people are fun. When presented with fact, they simply dig their heels in and ignore what is obvious to the rational.

    You can’t rationalize with babies, crazy people or really stupid people. Not sure where he falls in the pecking order, but why take what he says as anything other than entertaining?

  24. andrewf16 - May 4, 2011 at 1:07 PM

    Luke – less talk, more dingers.

  25. garlicfriesandbaseball - May 4, 2011 at 1:19 PM

    Uh, well, okay. You’ve established so far that birthers are racist and stupid. But still …. campaigning on the mantra of “transparency”, why all the secrecy? Why didn’t he just produce the damn thing at the beginning? The glove doesn’t quite fit. Beyond a reasonable doubt? Absolutely. I never believed one way or another about the birther issue; I just wanted him to produce it. I’m embarrassed that it took the Donald to finally accomplish this.

    • Utley's Hair - May 4, 2011 at 1:23 PM

      Why didn’t he just produce it? You mean like when he released it in 2008? Oh, that’s right….

    • sabosgoggles - May 4, 2011 at 1:32 PM

      Hey, Garlicfries, have you stopped beating your wife?

    • royhobbs39 - May 4, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      “Transparency” = The ability to see right through someone as a paranoid racist nutjob who will not acknowledge the president released his birth certificate in 2008.

      “Embarassed” = Common sense Republicans who cannot believe their party is being taken over by these whack jobs who are constantly yelling “let’s see his birth certificate” and “He’s Muslim. You just know it.”

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