May 9, 2011, 5:30 AM EST
Yankees 12, Rangers 5: We read a lot of “Derek Jeter is done” commentary last week. Well, whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that Jeter was only mostly dead. And there’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Two homers for The Captain. As for the game overall, I’ll quote Jay Jaffe, who said it best on Twitter late yesterday afternoon: “This Yankees-Rangers game is so ugly they should shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.”
Braves 5, Phillies 2: Jair Jurrjens continues to impress, allowing one run on eight hits in six and a third. The long ball did Philly in, with Cole Hamels giving up dingers to Alex Gonzalez and Freddie Freeman and Michael Stutes allowing a two-run job to Eric Hinske. The Braves take two of three from the Philly in Citizens Bank Park. This has apparently frightened and confused these two gentlemen, respectively.
Marlins 8, Nationals 0: Anibal Sanchez lost a no-hitter in the seventh, but it was probably for the best given that he took 117 pitches to finish those seven innings. No savvy manager would have let him go the distance at those rates and then we’d either end up talking about how Edwin Rodriguez abused Sanchez or how heartless Edwin Rodriguez was to deprive everyone of a possible no-hitter had he yanked Sanchez. Personally, everyone should be happy with a two-hit, 11K, no runs performance. Well, everyone except Nats fans, but they’re used to disappointment by now.
Angels 6, Indians 5: Mike Scioscia’s 1000th career win. In the game story afterward, this quote appeared: “‘I’m glad to be a part of such a special occasion for Sosh,’ Hunter said.” I would have bet my life that you spelled that “Scioc.” Or, in a tip o’ the cap to “The Outsiders,” “Soc.”
Red Sox 9, Twins 5: It looked like it was going to be a classic Daisuke Matsuzaka outing after the first inning, in which he gave up three runs on approximately 2,430 pitches. But he settled down and went six serviceable innings. Which was more than enough with Carl Pavano dropping the stank on the other side (5 IP, 10 H, 7 ER).
White Sox 5, Mariners 2: The White Sox manage their first series win in a month, taking two of three from the M’s. Paul Konerko had five hits. Not bad for a guy who left Saturday’s game with a sore hand.
Cardinals 3, Brewers 1: Beer Bowl. Kyle McClellan took a shutout into the ninth, watched as Eduardo Sanchez allowed an inherited runner to score and put a couple more of his own on base, but snagged his fifth win anyway.
- Suspending Josh Hamilton for a year would be obscene 56
- Report: MLB panel split on rehab for Josh Hamilton; one-year suspension is in play 23
- Joc Pederson goes 2-for-2 in Cactus League debut 4
- Braves scratch Mike Minor from start with more shoulder problems 3
- Daniel Murphy on Billy Bean: “I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual” 360
- Blue Jays sign Dayan Viciedo to a minor league deal 8
- Chris Sale will be sidelined for three weeks with foot fracture 11
- Aramis Ramirez says 2015 will be his last year 33
- Daniel Murphy on Billy Bean: “I do disagree with the fact that Billy is a homosexual” (361)
- If addiction is an illness — and it is — Josh Hamilton shouldn’t be suspended (307)
- Curt Schilling lowers the boom on some men tweeting threats against his daughter (137)
- John Baker, Jeremy Brown, coal mines and class (80)
- Billy Bean responds to Daniel Murphy’s comments (77)