May 9, 2011, 5:30 AM EDT
Yankees 12, Rangers 5: We read a lot of “Derek Jeter is done” commentary last week. Well, whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that Jeter was only mostly dead. And there’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Two homers for The Captain. As for the game overall, I’ll quote Jay Jaffe, who said it best on Twitter late yesterday afternoon: “This Yankees-Rangers game is so ugly they should shave its ass and teach it to walk backwards.”
Braves 5, Phillies 2: Jair Jurrjens continues to impress, allowing one run on eight hits in six and a third. The long ball did Philly in, with Cole Hamels giving up dingers to Alex Gonzalez and Freddie Freeman and Michael Stutes allowing a two-run job to Eric Hinske. The Braves take two of three from the Philly in Citizens Bank Park. This has apparently frightened and confused these two gentlemen, respectively.
Marlins 8, Nationals 0: Anibal Sanchez lost a no-hitter in the seventh, but it was probably for the best given that he took 117 pitches to finish those seven innings. No savvy manager would have let him go the distance at those rates and then we’d either end up talking about how Edwin Rodriguez abused Sanchez or how heartless Edwin Rodriguez was to deprive everyone of a possible no-hitter had he yanked Sanchez. Personally, everyone should be happy with a two-hit, 11K, no runs performance. Well, everyone except Nats fans, but they’re used to disappointment by now.
Angels 6, Indians 5: Mike Scioscia’s 1000th career win. In the game story afterward, this quote appeared: “‘I’m glad to be a part of such a special occasion for Sosh,’ Hunter said.” I would have bet my life that you spelled that “Scioc.” Or, in a tip o’ the cap to “The Outsiders,” “Soc.”
Red Sox 9, Twins 5: It looked like it was going to be a classic Daisuke Matsuzaka outing after the first inning, in which he gave up three runs on approximately 2,430 pitches. But he settled down and went six serviceable innings. Which was more than enough with Carl Pavano dropping the stank on the other side (5 IP, 10 H, 7 ER).
White Sox 5, Mariners 2: The White Sox manage their first series win in a month, taking two of three from the M’s. Paul Konerko had five hits. Not bad for a guy who left Saturday’s game with a sore hand.
Cardinals 3, Brewers 1: Beer Bowl. Kyle McClellan took a shutout into the ninth, watched as Eduardo Sanchez allowed an inherited runner to score and put a couple more of his own on base, but snagged his fifth win anyway.
- Yordano Ventura ejected for hitting Brett Lawrie with a pitch 8
- Pete Rose joins FOX as a baseball analyst 17
- Settling the Score: Friday’s results 55
- Josh Hamilton’s teammates say he’s in great shape and ready to play 28
- Mike Trout hit his 100th career home run to become the youngest member of the 100 HR/100 SB club 26
- Make that two: Alex Rodriguez hits second homer of the night, giving him 658 for his career 46
- Alex Rodriguez hit his 657th career home run 48
- Let’s all just stare at Kris Bryant’s numbers for a while 28
- The Commissioner’s Office thinks that the Angels could indeed go after Josh Hamilton under his contract (153)
- “Why Ted Cruz is like the Atlanta Braves” (150)
- “We no longer need the terrorists. We’re now so good at terrorizing ourselves.” (143)
- Another argument in favor of making the DH universal (127)
- When it comes to Josh Hamilton, Arte Moreno is a craven opportunist, not a “smart businessman” (116)