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Luke Scott has a torn labrum

May 9, 2011, 2:27 PM EDT

Scott_Luke

Luke Scott has had a sore shoulder for a while. He hurt it in spring training, actually, and it has come to bother him a lot more in recent weeks.  The Orioles sent him for an MRI, and the results are back:  he has a partial tear of his labrum. The thinking at this point is that it won’t require surgery until after the season and that he can continue to play on.  He will, however, meet with the Orioles’ team orthopedist tomorrow to get more details on a rehabilitation plan.

After that, it is widely expected that Scott will get a full humours panel, in which his relative levels of black bile, yellow bile, phlegm, and blood will be measured.  It is hoped that his shoulder can be cured by the use of a simple dwale made from lettuce juice, gall from a castrated boar, briony, opium, henbane, hemlock juice and vinegar.  If that’s not successful, however, Scott will likely be due for a full blood-letting, which will probably put him on the disabled list for at least a fortnight.

  1. The Common Man/www.platoonadvantage.com - May 9, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    Obligatory “anyone can fake an MRI” joke here.

    • b7p19 - May 9, 2011 at 2:42 PM

      Check.

    • marshmallowsnake - May 9, 2011 at 3:38 PM

      Or the joke that the government caused this because he, “knew too much.”

    • Utley's Hair - May 9, 2011 at 4:38 PM

      His parents planned this more than 50 years ago. I want authentication of this so-called MRI—and who is this Dr. Orly Taitz?

  2. nps6724 - May 9, 2011 at 2:32 PM

    They probably faked the MRI.

    • b7p19 - May 9, 2011 at 2:43 PM

      And Check.

  3. 18thstreet - May 9, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    Unless he shows me the x-ray, I refuse to believe it.

  4. jasoncollette - May 9, 2011 at 2:33 PM

    That may explain why he avoided fielding Kotchman’s liner hit right at him yesterday as if it were a handshake from Obama

    • paperlions - May 9, 2011 at 2:49 PM

      Well….would you want to shake the hand of a man that you weren’t sure was born? I wouldn’t, that’s creepy.

  5. scottj27 - May 9, 2011 at 2:37 PM

    I can’t be the only one who finds it fishy he has two first names. Has he ever shown US-issued identification to the press?

  6. rebarratige - May 9, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    It’s a shame the O’s don’t keep a specialist on hand to deal with urgent cases of foot-in-mouth disease.

  7. Jonny 5 - May 9, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    That’s in his brain. Right? Well I for one am glad he’s having this “torn Labrum” thing in his brain fixed, It explains all the “crazy talk” he’s been spewing…

    • Utley's Hair - May 9, 2011 at 4:41 PM

      The problem is that now, he’ll have more time to try to verbalize more of these thoughts that go through his head.

    • Old Gator - May 9, 2011 at 5:32 PM

      Johnny, may Buddha cause you to be reincarnated as a Republican for japping my “brain” line. I had a whole anatomy lesson that I have to sit on now until Curt Schilling tears something.

      • natstowngreg - May 9, 2011 at 6:16 PM

        Perhaps Schilling could tear his larynx while opining on ESPN?

  8. paperlions - May 9, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    Luke Scott is a big hunter, right? Well, if does a lot of practice shooting with rifles/shotguns and/or does a lot of practice with a bow (especially traditional ones such as recurves or long bows), he probably injured the shoulder during those activities. Labrum and rotator cuff problems are pretty common for those that practice too much with those types of weapons.

    • Jonny 5 - May 9, 2011 at 3:05 PM

      So do chronic masturbators. Try proving that one.

  9. sknut - May 9, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Next he will say the gov’t uses MRI machines to control minds and is tracking him.

    • wlschneider09 - May 9, 2011 at 3:47 PM

      No worries Luke, not even the government could penetrate that skull.

  10. dfensfelix - May 9, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Good. Was hoping for larynx but I guess we’ll have to settle for labrum.

  11. thehypercritic - May 9, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    Kind of makes you believe in karma.

  12. IdahoMariner - May 9, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    nicely done, Craig.

  13. Utley's Hair - May 9, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    And…as of right now, the only comment to this Luke Scott post without a thumbs down vote is Jonny’s masturbation comment… Speaks volumes, don’t it?

    • wlschneider09 - May 10, 2011 at 8:35 AM

      If you can’t get behind masturbation, we have no room for you here.

  14. aceshigh11 - May 9, 2011 at 7:34 PM

    Sorry…I don’t feel the least bit sorry for this hick.

    You reap what you sow.

  15. cur68 - May 9, 2011 at 8:04 PM

    Torn labrum you say? In the shoulder you say? Can throwing stuff do that to you? Like maybe…banana chips? Karma I say.

    The chances that he’ll keep his huge mouth shut are minimal, sadly. With any luck he’ll spend some of his free time researching some of his dearly held beliefs. Unless of course he starts editing wikipedia. Then we’ll all come to regret this shoulder injury.

  16. micker716 - May 9, 2011 at 9:09 PM

    There’s no such thing as a “labrum”. There’s more to this story. He’s hiding something.

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