May 26, 2011, 12:00 PM EDT
I thank my lucky stars that my job description does not include “talking to baseball players after the game to get their insight.” Because, if they actually have some insight, it’s buried under mountains and mountains of cliche.
You think you know this already because of that scene in “Bull Durham,” but the problem is way, way worse. To see this, read Emma Span’s wonderful/awful research piece over at Baseball Prospectus today. In it she compiles actual postgame quotes that made actual news reports over the last two weeks and puts them altogether into one giant blob of non-informative blather.
And think about this: for all of the quotes that were used in stories, how many were not used because the reporter who gathered them found them to not be at all insightful. These are the best of the quotes!
So do me a favor: next time you’re on Twitter interacting with your team’s beat writer, take it easy on him or her. Because until newspaper editors decide to eschew the standard game story and change the marching orders of the people they have covering the teams, they’ll have to wade through this muck every day. The horror. The horror.
- Alex Rodriguez hits 659th career home run, now one shy of tying Willie Mays 15
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal 238
- Max Scherzer doubtful for next start due to thumb injury 3
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards 141
- It sure sounds like Adam Wainwright suffered a torn Achilles tendon on Saturday night 40
- Settling the Score: Saturday’s results 33
- Report: Rangers will pay Josh Hamilton less than $7 million; deal includes opt-out after two years 98
- Suspensions announced for Thursday’s brawl between the White Sox and Royals 78
- Pitchers batting is dumb and the DH should be universal (250)
- The early leaders in MLB’s “Franchise Four” thing have been announced (166)
- The Royals and White Sox had a benches-clearing fracas, five players ejected (156)
- Protesters converge on Oriole Park at Camden Yards (149)
- Kelvin Herrera gets a five-game suspension; Yordano Ventura fined (133)