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Introducing Carlos Beltran: “RBI whore”

May 27, 2011, 11:33 AM EDT

beltran bats AP

Joel Sherman’s latest column is about the fury and backlash among Mets fans in the wake of Fred Wilpon’s comments about the team and its best players.  And he has some decent observations about how, if you’re a Mets player, you’re not likely to be all that motivated at the moment.

But there was one passage in there that really has me scratching my head. In it, he’s talking about how Jose Reyes and Carlos Beltran are best served to look out for number one right now (you know; that thing they’ve been criticized for allegedly doing for years already) because the team obviously doesn’t care about them.  The passage:

Since baseball is an individual game wrapped in a team concept, selfishness by Beltran and Reyes actually could be a good thing. I heard that with Wright and Ike Davis out of the lineup and Jason Bay still in freefall, Terry Collins actually went to Beltran recently and told the switch-hitter to get greedy in RBI situations. The Mets manager liberated Beltran to essentially become an RBI whore.

I’d be curious to hear who Sherman heard this from. Because really, I find it shocking that baseball people actually say things like “hey, get greedy in RBI situations.”  Why? Because baseball people realize that baseball is not basketball, and one does not defer to teammates in scoring situations in the interests of either strategy or team chemistry.

While bunting or situational hitting to get a runner into scoring position in the first place is understandable, if there is already a runner on second or third base (i.e. Sherman’s “RBI situations”) the hitter is always going to be “greedy” to drive him in. Indeed, I’d like to meet the player who would avoid doing such a thing and, rather, pass the RBI opportunity on to their teammate further down the order.  He’s probably a player who is suffering from some sort of mental deficit. Or at least an overdeveloped sense of purity:

“Hey, Beltran: be an RBI whore!” said Mr. Collins.

“No, I shant attempt to drive in this run. For I, good sir, am an RBI gentleman,” Mr. Beltran replied.

But whatever, if Sherman says someone told that Beltran, someone must have told that to Beltran.  And either way, the concept of the “RBI whore” has now been introduced into the baseball lexicon, and if you think for a moment that I won’t beat that baby into the ground in the morning recaps, well, you’re just not too familiar with my work.

  1. mmacdermott - May 27, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    When I woke up this morning I had no idea that “RBI Whore” would be the something new I learned today.

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - May 27, 2011 at 11:49 AM

      That’s weird, when I woke up I wondered why “RBIs” and “whores” were all I could think about.

    • scatterbrian - May 27, 2011 at 1:51 PM

      Sherman just coined a name for 1000 fantasy baseball teams next year…

  2. cur68 - May 27, 2011 at 11:46 AM

    Sir, I respectfully submit the notion that you owe your intestinal integrity to this ‘whore’. First chance you get, buy Mr. Bletran a hat. A nice one. He may have saved your life.

  3. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - May 27, 2011 at 11:49 AM

    That’s Pujols’ problem. He used to beat that RBI whore like it was is profession. This year, he started treating the RBI with respect, taking the RBI to dinner, listening to the RBI’s endless babble for hours on end, buying the RBI nice things, and look where he is now. The RBI has only given it up to him 26 times so far this season. You have to TAKE the RBI and make the RBI your bitch, THAT’s the only way to get the RBI’s respect.

    • kiwicricket - May 27, 2011 at 12:29 PM

      I’m told not all ‘RBI Whores’ are the same….that sometimes they dress differently and can trick people into thinking that they are actually something else. How can you tell males from females?

    • Utley's Hair - May 27, 2011 at 3:13 PM

      Pujols has clearly been plying the RBI with pie, which is why RBI hasn’t given it up a whole lot this season. Clearly.

      • royalsfaninfargo - May 27, 2011 at 4:27 PM

        el bravo,
        i do believe that is one of the funniest things i have read on this site. absolutely hilarious!

  4. Loren - May 27, 2011 at 12:07 PM

    Maybe he’s suggesting that Beltran be more aggressive swinging at hittable pitches outside the zone instead of taking a walk when there are runners on? That’s all I can really think of.

    • sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - May 27, 2011 at 12:22 PM

      I think this probably nails it. I remember reading a Giambi interview where he was saying that he know the guy behind him in the lineup (ARod maybe) was struggling, so he felt he needed to swing the bat when he ordinarily would have taken a pitch.

      I wonder this: If Beltran comes to bat with Reyes on first and another runner on third, is it RBI-Whore-ier to take a pitch or two to let Reyes steal, thus increasing the opportunity for multiple RBI, or to swing at the first pitch if he thinks it will get him a sure RBI?

      Who knew RBI-whoring could be so complex?

      • cur68 - May 27, 2011 at 12:36 PM

        Considering how much money he’s selling his RBI services for, not only is it complex it’s damn lucrative. I mean, the dude isn’t trying to get an RBI at a truck stop now is he?

        This whole “RBI Whore” thing gives new meaning to when he ‘fists’ one into shallow center as well. From now on I expect to see all of Beltran’s exploits described in terms of a ‘trick’. A home run? That is, of course, all four bases.

        The only difficult part will be keeping things JUST classy enough that we’re still talking about baseball…

      • kiwicricket - May 27, 2011 at 12:37 PM

        Swinging on the first pitch too many times would be like doing anything more than just making out on a first date. Entertaining the first few times, puts up quick stats, but overall not conducive for sustained success or self-fulfilment.

  5. kiwicricket - May 27, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    Would that make Terry Collins a pimp of sorts? Easily picture Dusty Baker, but Collins…..hmmm not soo much.

  6. Jonny 5 - May 27, 2011 at 12:54 PM

    What the hell does that even mean really? Sucking in RBI situations? Blowing at hitting in RBI’s ? Fu&%%ing up when it’s time to drive it in? All of these things make more sense than “driving in more runs.” Which I’d hope is the main objective of all baseball players while playing offense. 2 possible scenarios here….

    1) I’m thinking he meant more on the lines of injury playing defense. He’s talking about Beltran letting everyone score. Be an RBI Whore, allow everyone to score… He doesn’t want to lose another player to injury maybe? HA!

    2) This story sounds like a bunch of bull, Collins was probably telling Beltran about some nice person he met over the weekend but money was exchanged as well, they were overheard by reporters and had to come up with a quick cover story.

  7. halladaysbicepts - May 27, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    Well, if this Mutt is being called an “RBI Whore”, then Ryan Howard is the biggest whore of them all because he has more than any other MLB player in the last 6 years.

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - May 27, 2011 at 1:18 PM

      which implies you’ve been suckling a whore’s teet for at least that long.

      • halladaysbicepts - May 27, 2011 at 1:22 PM

        Jealous, aren’t you, Mrs. El Bravo. You Atlanta pukes wish you had the RBI machine known as Ryan Howard.

        Jayson Heyward will consider himself lucky if he turns out ito be half the player Howard is.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - May 27, 2011 at 1:53 PM

        Last puke-related anything regarding baseball came out of Philly, if I recall correctly. I will never be jealous of Ryan Howard’s contract. Heyward is already half the player than Howard is, so I guess he should consider himself lucky. The least you could do is spell his name correctly, but I think we’ve found spelling to not be your strong suit.

        Bring da ruckus Mrs. Biceptual Curious. I’ll be here all day and I’m bored to death.

      • halladaysbicepts - May 27, 2011 at 2:42 PM

        Mrs. El Bravo,

        Where did I way anything about Howard’s contract? Wow! I see the jealousy in your subconscious, wishing you had the type of coin that Howard’s got. I see why your lack of any substance or logic never appears in any of your posts.

        Missing those old days of looking at Ted and Jane in the stands in Atlanta, aren’t you, wishing you had an owner that spends coin like the Phillies?

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - May 27, 2011 at 5:45 PM

        I was forced to go do real work so now I’m just reading your smug reply. You don’t have to mention Howard’s contract, it floats around his head like a big fat slow-moving half-witted albatross.

        “I see why your lack of any substance or logic never appears in any of your posts.” Read that again. Now read it again. One more time. Why spar with you when you repeatedly kick yourself in the face? I can sit back and enjoy the show and then throw a jab in when I deem fit.

    • scatterbrian - May 27, 2011 at 1:54 PM

      At that price, Howard’s more of an escort, no?

  8. deathmonkey41 - May 27, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    This puts the word “Whore” in a completely negative context. Now, I’m not talking about prostitutes, but there is nothing more noble than a woman who has little or no standards for the men she sleeps with. Not sure what I’d do without them. Go on, Carlos- be an RBI whore and don’t let people make you feel bad about it!

  9. scatterbrian - May 27, 2011 at 1:28 PM

    “Indeed, I’d like to meet the player who would avoid doing such a thing and, rather, pass the RBI opportunity on to their teammate further down the order.”

    This is essentially what the A’s offense has been for years.

  10. mplsjoe - May 27, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    From a Twins fan perspective, this is somewhat refreshing advise from a manager. Ron Gardenhire would tell Beltran to hit the ball to the right side and move the runner over. Or lift it to the OF for a sac fly. Don’t try to do too much. Be fundamentally sound. Play “the right way.”

    Or, as David Ortiz once famously said, “hit like a b****.”

  11. themanchine - May 27, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    the concept of the “RBI whore” has now been introduced into the baseball lexicon, and if you think for a moment that I won’t beat that baby into the ground in the morning recaps, well, you’re just not too familiar with my work.

    excellent!

    I’m not talking about prostitutes, but there is nothing more noble than a woman who has little or no standards for the men she sleeps with. Not sure what I’d do without them.

    preach on brotha

  12. capsboy - May 27, 2011 at 3:51 PM

    You Sir, are on fire today!

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