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And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights

May 31, 2011, 5:42 AM EDT

Bartolo Colon

Yankees 5, Athletics 0: Bartolo Colon with the four-hit shutout in which, in hindsight, the outcome was determined the moment Mark Teixeira hit his first inning homer.  A full house showed up at the Coliseum for this one. Gonna go out on a limb here and say that most of the fans weren’t there to root for the home team.

Diamondbacks 15, Marlins 4: Arizona stays hot, winning their seventh straight game. Miguel Montero was a total RBI whore, driving in five. Justin Upton went 5 for 5. Kelly Johnson was described in the game story as “falling a single short of the cycle.”  Well, considering that he had two homers, I suppose that “failure” is excusable.

Tigers 6, Twins 5: A weird fan interference call allowed Jhonny Peralta to score the go-ahead run in the eighth. Probably should have been ruled a ground rule double that would have made Peralta stop at third. Or the judgment on the fan interference should have been that Peralta wouldn’t have scored anyway. I find this less interesting from a “there should be replay!” perspective than from a “if we had replay, there will be more calls on which umpires will have to make judgments about where runners would have ended up, so maybe we need to figure out the best way to deal with it now” perspective.

Giants 7, Cardinals 3: An Andres Torres grand slam in the fourth turned a close one into a not-so-close one. It was Kyle McClellan‘s worst start this year (4 IP, 7 H, 7 ER).

Reds 7, Brewers 3: What a shocker: Jay Bruce hit a three-run homer. He singled and tripled as well.  The Reds, coming off a disastrous road trip, are apparently happy to be home.

White Sox 7, Red Sox 3: Jon Lester was rocked while attempting to get his eighth win. Two RBI a piece for Alexi Ramirez, Carlos Quention and A.J. Pierzynski.

Mets 7, Pirates 3: The fourth game to end with a final score of 7-3 yesterday! This is important. This means something. [sculpts Devil's Tower in his mashed potatoes].

Astros 12, Cubs 7: Strong bullpen work and big bombs help the Astros snap their losing streak. Clint Bamres and Hunter Pence smacked back-to-back homers in the fifth. The score alone makes it look like this was a rather unwatchable game. But two of the worst fielding teams in baseball also combined for five errors, making it extra special.

Mariners 4, Orioles 3: Jake Arrieta put the O’s in a 4-1 hole and, despite some great bullpen work by Baltimore, they couldn’t mount a comeback. Doug Fister allowed three runs in seven and a third while striking out nine.

Phillies 5, Nationals 4: Roy Halladay wasn’t at his best — he allowed ten hits, three of which were homers — but he’s lost enough games that he should have won that he was owed a pick-me-up by his teammates. A 92-degree game time temperature, and the Nats broke out the navy blue for Memorial Day. Sweet.

Padres 3, Braves 2: Kyle Phillips‘ 10th inning homer — his first ever — wins it for the Friars. The Braves have played in approximately eight gajillion extra-innings games recently. This is mostly because their pitching is good and their offense is awful. This wouldn’t be the case if Dan Uggla hadn’t died. Wait that’s not fair: Uggla is 4-for-47 with one RBI in his past 14 games. An actual corpse would have had one less RBI than Uggla has had in that time.

Angels 10, Royals 8:  Oh, Joakim Soria, I hate to see you breaking down like this. It’s the third time he’s blown a save while giving up multiple runs in his last four outings and his fifth blown save overall this year. Torii Hunter‘s ninth inning two-run homer put the Angels up for good.

Blue Jays 11, Indians 1: Jo-Jo Reyes wins! Jo-Jo Reyes wins! The winless streak is over! Now, let us find the next unfortunate person and fixate on his professional setbacks, feigning empathy!

Rangers 11, Rays 5: Twenty hits for the Rangers overall. They had an 8-0 lead before the Rays could muster much of anything. The third straight game with a homer for Mike Napoli.

Dodgers 7, Rockies 1: Andre Ethier and James Loney drove in three runs a piece and Chad Billingsley scattered — scattered? — yes, scattered 11 hits over seven innings. How the Rockies managed 14 total hits and four walks while only scoring one run is beyond me.

  1. cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 7:40 AM

    Mornin’! Got up early for this one; wanted to crow a bit.
    Sooooo…who saw the Jays game? Anyone? Well let me bring you up to speed…

    11 to 1 Beavrboys! The Jays didn’t just beat the Indians. They PWNED them.

    The game had it all; Mookie’s crush, Shelley Duncan, hit a MONSTER homer. Only 15 people have ever put a ball in the 5th deck @ Rogers Center. Tell Mookie she can do better; Duncan’s strong as an ox but he’s an FLK (funny lookin’ kid).

    Fausto Carmona was not bad. In fact he looked in control till the 4th when the wheels came off. His FB was moving; dropping off the table when thrown belt high and falling for strikes when at the shoulder or cutting across the plate. Real nasty stuff.

    The Indians have some stud kid there at catcher. Carlos Santana not only has a rocket arm he can backstop pretty good too. How did the Dodgers let this kid get away? A switch hitting catcher with a rocket arm and slick, Tony Pena type catching skills and they traded him away for Casey Blake? WTF? It came to naught though. The Jays played like gods.

    Rajai Davis decided to give Corey Patterson the night off and had 3 hits, 2 RBI on the day. Patterson then gets on behind an O’Cab error with, 2 runs scoring, one of them Davis zooming home from 2nd.
    Also, just for variety’s sake, Jayson Nix decided to homer for the Jays.

    Bautista, the Most Interesting Hitter in the World, had 2 hits and a stolen base, but only to demo how versatile he is, the showboat. At any rate, just because he doesn’t always hit a homer, he got to take the rest of the game off and watch Mike McCoy practice striking out.

    To top it all JoJo Reyes had a complete game victory giving up one earned run. Took him 28 tries to do it but he finally won 1. Hasn’t done that since Noah was a lad. The D played just solid behind JJR last night. He owes them that victory, though he did settle down in the later innings to finish things off in the 9th with a strike out.

    Game 2 tonight. Should be a gooder.

    • proudlycanadian - May 31, 2011 at 8:01 AM

      Jo Jo dominated the first place Indians. The Jays dominated the Indians pitchers. Is this the beginning of the end for the glass slipper team from Cleveland?

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 8:32 AM

        I hope The Indians keep on winning, just not for the next 2 games. Gotta love any team that employs Cerrano. 11 to 1, though, woooo-eeee, Jobu not happy about something.

    • deathmonkey41 - May 31, 2011 at 8:50 AM

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again- I’m not a believer in the Indians. They’re 3-8 against the AL East in May. I just don’t see this happening for them. Hopefully the Yankees can continue the domination.

      • proudlycanadian - May 31, 2011 at 8:54 AM

        Don’t look back, something from the land of beavers and bush pilots is gaining on the Yankees.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 9:08 AM

        :)

      • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 12:06 PM

        I guess that it’s the land of bushes and beaver pilots too…you’re gonna need one of those twin turboprop Otters to catch up with StrayRod, though.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 12:30 PM

        Know what us Canucks call a Twin Otter? …heh, heh, heh…Craig;s gonna ban my a$$ if I spell it out so here’s a little assignment for you; drop the ‘in’ from ‘Twin” and push it together with “Otter”. Now say it out loud but be sure the wife is out of ear shot.

        …heh, heh, heh…dude, you said…

      • Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 12:34 PM

        The land of Bushes? I thought we were the only country afflicted with that family….

      • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 9:41 PM

        Cur: yeah, I know that one. I used to fly my Cheyenne or Malibu into the lakefront airport in Toronto (one of the most beautiful approaches in North America – maybe only Key West and the old Meigs Field in Chicago had approaches that were as stunning; you really had to remind yourself not to get distracted while turning base to final). Anyway, there was a small armada of single and twin Otters based at that airport – serving the various Fort Prince Saint Georges and Jacques of the hinterland. We knew the, um, knickname for those planes – there were actually some hand lettered signs in the FBO windows advertising them for rental or hire in precisely those terms.

  2. Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    Great…beaver talk so early in the morning. And we may just stop up Canadia and its waterways with that Beaver Bieber’s hair. (Though thanks for Shania…she’s right purdy).

    And Doc gets some run support for a change. Things might just work out for these Phightins. They may just make it somewhere. All they need to do is keep those bats hot.

    • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 8:07 AM

      Hands off Twain! We’re a keepin’ her. You can have f$#%king Beiber.
      Nice to see Doc get some love from the offense. Should keep the daily Phill-Phan angst-fest to a dull roar.

      • Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 8:30 AM

        Actually, I think Shania kinda deserted Canada hasn’t she? Anyway GO NUCKS!

      • deathmonkey41 - May 31, 2011 at 8:52 AM

        I agree- I think Shania should belong to the states- they can keep Beiber. Oh, and we’re claiming Shatner too- the greatest pause actor of all time.

      • proudlycanadian - May 31, 2011 at 9:02 AM

        You can have Celine Dion.

      • kiwicricket - May 31, 2011 at 9:02 AM

        Shania resides down these parts. Bought a farm the size of a small planet a few years back. We are keeping her also! Give them Dion.

      • kiwicricket - May 31, 2011 at 9:07 AM

        Hobbit’s would love it up there. Will trade you. They could start breeding with the sasquatch and develope a normal sized race.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 9:13 AM

        Look, final offer; We’ll throw in Rush, Bryan Adams, Dion, and Ace Ventura. You get to keep f#$%ing Beiber, gratis, but we want Halladay, Fielder, and Papelbon. Actually we want Russel Martin and Granderson too, but that’s another horse trade.

        No way we give up Shatner. As for Hobbits & Sasquatch; forgeddaboutit! We’re only leasing big foot sperm this year (yes, we’ll want it back; with interest) but we’ll consider a trade, Sydney Crosby for Jonah Lomu, straight up.

      • Chris Fiorentino - May 31, 2011 at 9:28 AM

        Jose Bautista wuz a Hobbit until he took all them steeroids up in the Misty Mountains.

      • deathmonkey41 - May 31, 2011 at 9:46 AM

        I’m afraid any deal with Canada would have to be contingent on them ensuring that they never allow Hayden Christensen and Keanu Reeves to cross to border and star in anymore American movies…unless it’s for the role of surfer dude- then we’ll make an exception for Keanu.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 10:00 AM

        We take no responsibility for Christensen. That was a direct retaliation for the the talent vacuum that is Christian Slater. You brought it in on yourselves.
        As a nation we deeply apologize for Keanu. He is our shame.

      • Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 10:08 AM

        I don’t care about any deal with Canada as long as you take back Pamela Anderson. She is damaged and needs to live out her life in seclusion in some cabin with dim lighting as a bride to a logger with a bad accent.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 10:11 AM

        What? You mean Anderson isn’t already doing that? I’ll let the proper authorities know. Don’t worry; they’ll set the cattle prods to ‘stun’.

      • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 10:39 AM

        Didn’t Shania Twain write “Beaverberry Finn”?

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 10:43 AM

        Gator, dude, never heard that one but it could be the semi-biographical song of my life. I’d pay real money to her Shania Twian sing about me.

      • Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 11:08 AM

        Hands off Twain? I think not—I’d rather get my hands ON Twain. :P

        And let me get this straight: you are trying to make Dion out like it’s a GOOD deal? She outlived her usefulness by the time Titanic got to the century million mark—which, I believe was about three hours before it opened.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 11:14 AM

        Any of Heyward, Howard, or ARod could use her as a bat; she’s at least that brittle. Actually ARod would just try and date her so best to keep her away from him.

      • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 11:51 AM

        Maybe it was “Hucklebeaver Finn”?

        Must tell you about the Anne Murray museum in Springhill some time. An experience not to be missed – assuming you’ve completely run out of other experiences, that is.

      • yankeesfanlen - May 31, 2011 at 12:01 PM

        OK Gator- which is more tintillating- a visit to the Anne Murray Mausoleum or a conversation with Shelby Foote?

      • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 12:11 PM

        Are you insinuating that I have a Foote fetish?

        Actually, having had several conversations with Shelby prior to his untimely (in the sense that it took him far too long) passing, and knowing several editors of various history and literary journals who have had more than their share of conversations with him, I could tell you some terrific stories about him that would have you rolling on the floor. Email Craig for my email address (permission hereby granted). I will be in New York in July and we’re gonna have to get together to hoist a cranberry and soda (I will buy you a beer despite my own non-alcoholic inclinations) and share some of these gems. I have a strict policy of never kicking a corpse on public media.

        Well, not hard enough to dislodge the maggots, anyway.

      • Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 12:18 PM

        The next Canadian import: beaverberry jam. That’s either pretty damn nasty or goes really well with peanut butter.

      • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 2:39 PM

        Sounds to me like it would make a good dressing for a sardine sandwich.

  3. yankeesfanlen - May 31, 2011 at 8:00 AM

    The Yankees typical ratio of 1-for-4 RISP did suffice yesterday. Who the hell were these West Coast pitchers with 2. ERA’s pitching AGAINST?
    Nineteen more hits and another long Universe nightmare will be over. I hope they present him with a Crown (Victoria, c. 1985) and for once he says something Ozzie-like.”Beat this ARod, sucker!” might gain some press coverage.

  4. Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 8:03 AM

    Oh, and those white paneled hats are hideous.

    • dink53 - May 31, 2011 at 9:08 AM

      I think they’re leftover Expos hats.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 9:13 AM

        Hey!

      • Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 1:46 PM

        Seisenta y ocho, we want Elisha Cuthbert, too—consider it time served for the years Celine has been green carding it down here.

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 2:58 PM

        Last I heard she’s dating Dion Phaneuf. Unlike the other Dion this is a he. He looks like Frankenstein’s monster and plays D for the Leafs. He is friggin HUGE so good luck with getting Elisha off of him.

  5. Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    I guess the Phills season isn’t really over afterall….

    • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 8:43 AM

      Not if the Feesh keep playing like they did last night. Watching that debacle in the desert, I thought I was catching an insider look at an audition for Ed Wood Jr.’s rumored remake of El Topo. The boolpen reminded me less of the mythic “upgraded” Feesh boolpen of the now-a-go-go second decade than the boolpens of yore with their human Santa Anas turning mere threats into game-consuming conflagrations. After Chris Volstad got finished burping up five runs in three plus innings, Dunn and Webb pitched like a couple of animatronic batting tees. Ugh. The slide I have long predicted has now begun in earnest. Whaddya wanna bet I’m a hotter prognosticator than that broken down huckster Camping?

      • Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 9:11 AM

        Gator, I’d say you’re only half as nutty as Camping is. I was secretly hoping the guy would jump off a bridge on “the day” so all of his followers could be freed from their mental prison awaiting judgement day. Ya know because they aren’t smart enough after twice being wrong to see him for the BS he spews. Poor souls.

    • Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 11:12 AM

      Chris Wheeler’s tidbit of the day: the president usually goes to visit Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day.

      Wait…what…? I’m stunned.

  6. Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 8:42 AM

    What’s with the Mutts stealing the Rangers “Claw” thing anyway? Isn’t it bad enough that Texas looks stupid, now we have the NY Mutts doing so too? CHOOCH!!! seemed to enjoy their new (not really because they copied) symbol of team unity and gamesmanship, as he mocked them for it pretty much over and over again. That silly Chooch. Also It’s nice to see soooooo many Philly fans kinda take over NY for a series.

    • deathmonkey41 - May 31, 2011 at 8:55 AM

      Dude, if you were a Mets fan- would you pay that much money and sit in LIE traffic to see that POS product?

      • sdelmonte - May 31, 2011 at 9:13 AM

        I am a Mets fan (albeit one lucky enough to live in a long walk’s distance) and I would gladly pay to see my team.

      • Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 9:18 AM

        Yeah, probably. But I’m married. So I can handle frequent kicks to the nuts.

      • deathmonkey41 - May 31, 2011 at 11:40 AM

        May god have mercy on your soul, sdelmonte.

    • vintage1496 - May 31, 2011 at 9:34 AM

      Please, PLEASE, enough with the “Philly fans taking over Stadium XYZ.” I know that’s a new phenomenon to see bandwagon fans in other cities, as you’ve just recently emerged from the cellar of the NL East, but it’s been happening for the better part of a century with teams like the Red Sox/Yankees/Cubs.

      Congrats on one World Series win 3 years, ago, but please, give it a rest.

      • Jonny 5 - May 31, 2011 at 9:55 AM

        WHY? It’s enough for you, but I love it. And I’m going to mention it every – single – time – I – see – it. Get it? ;) So, this is officially your request being denied mmkay?

      • Utley's Hair - May 31, 2011 at 11:24 AM

        I seem to remember the Mutts fans descending on the Vet, so it’s finally payback time.

  7. sdelmonte - May 31, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    When I went to sleep the D-Backs were a mediocre team in the midst of rebuilding with an untested manager. When I woke up, they were in first place. How long have I been out?

  8. uyf1950 - May 31, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    Yankees won, Yankees took back 1st place, Red Sox lost and the Rays lost. If 2 out 3 ain’t bad 4 out of 4 is perfection. And that’s just my opinion.

  9. Justin - May 31, 2011 at 9:16 AM

    Twins- Even with fan interference or whatever the call/issue was it isn’t like it was an insurmountable lead for us to come back from. If anything we need practice doing it. Kinda how this year has been though. Oh and of course more injuries. I am waiting for my phone to ring because we are that low on players by now I’m sure. (Recap http://minnesporta.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/controversial-play-leads-to-twins-loss/)

    • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 9:25 AM

      pssst, Justin; let the Twins know that Cur “El Gaucho” Molina (the illegitimate brother of Yadier, Bengie and Jose) is ready and able to assume catching duties. I guarantee you I can out hit Butera (because, like, who couldn’t?), out run any Molina made the old fashioned way, and since I’ve changed my name to “Molina” I can catch a little too. Tell them they can reach me C.O. Craig Calcaterra @ this website. Will work for food.

      • Kevin S. - May 31, 2011 at 10:27 AM

        Isn’t this how Gustavo conned the Yankees into giving him the backup gig?

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 10:48 AM

        Sshhh! I’m trying to get a job here, man! Keep it on the down low about Acinchay…

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 10:49 AM

        Wait; did you mean Gustavo Chacin or some other Gustavo? It’s all Chacin to me anyways…

      • jimbo1949 - May 31, 2011 at 11:03 AM

        Gustavo (no relation) Molina filled in while Cervelli was DL’d

      • cur68 - May 31, 2011 at 11:17 AM

        Forgot about that guy. Can’t blame the Yankees for taking a look at him; he’s got good pedigree.

  10. uyf1950 - May 31, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    One has to ask is the Indians recent lack of success a harbinger of things to come? That could at some point before long lead to the Tigers taking over 1st place in the Central Division.

    • yankeesfanlen - May 31, 2011 at 12:05 PM

      That would be nice, the only problem is they’re at 99 basis points behind the Tribe, a greater distance than the Yanks lead over Baltimore.

      • uyf1950 - May 31, 2011 at 12:59 PM

        True, but the Tigers don’t have to jump over anyone to get to and pass Cleveland all they have to do is beat them head to head.

  11. wonkypenguin - May 31, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    I wish Starlin would take a page from Jeter’s book and simply not get to some of the balls he proceeds to boot wildly or throw into the stands.

  12. tomemos - May 31, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Hey, Fiorentino, doesn’t your boy Soria realize he’s one of the all-time greats? Somehow you’ve stopped talking about him entirely.

  13. APBA Guy - May 31, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    Craig leads with the A’s!

    Oh, right, the Yankees were there too. And they brought 20,000 of their fans to go with the usual 16,000 A’s fans. That’s how the A’s pack ‘em in these days.

    And who is this Bartolo Colon and when did he get sole use of the Wayback Machine? Sitting 94, peaking at 96, and painting the corners at will for 9 IP? Doesn’t he realize he was facing the A’s? Take it easy Bartolo, no need to break a sweat against these guys.

    Poor little White Rabbit. He missed his location to Tex in the first inning on a mushball and it finally landed after 3 orbits in the second deck, which for this time of year in the Mausoleum is a Saturn V shot (please review vintage moon landing footage). And that was all this Bartolo person needed. Not that it prevented the Yankees from adding a few more runs, just because they could.

    But I have to say, Jorge was doing his best Matsui imitation yesterday: 0-4 w/ 2 K’s. And he looked particularly pathetic from the right side. Time to cut bait and get a real hitter in there. But on his way out, remember to thank him for this:

    Career .273 HR: 267 RBI:1037 .375 .475 .850 OPS

    Not too many catchers were better than that.

    Tonight is Freddy Garcia vs. Mr. Anderson. I hope Bartolo didn’t lend Freddy the Wayback Machine.

    And for all you Yankees skeptics out there: 10 Yankee runs against Pineda, King Felix and the White Rabbit. Small sample size, but those 10 runs were in the pitchers’ home parks, the two most pitcher-friendly in the AL. Very impressive.

    • Old Gator - May 31, 2011 at 12:14 PM

      APBA Person: sketching the lineaments of a westward trip this summer to do some research at the Grateful Dead archive and the Beat Museum, assuming the archive is actually catalogued sufficiently by August to admit researchers. Be warned. We nead to head up to the Olema Inn for some oysters and faux mint juleps. I’m trying to time this so we can park in the hills and watch the tsunami consume Boletus.

      • APBA Guy - May 31, 2011 at 12:30 PM

        The White Rabbit has been a little ragged lately, he’s been nursing some mechanical inconsistencies, but until Tex he’d been getting away with it. Mr. Anderson, on the other hand, has been very effective, but his “out” pitch has been his curve, which I’m not a fan of. Mistakes on that pitch tend to go the distance, and I think he’s been favoring that pitch because of his “forearm”.

        But your larger question, “who have these 2.00 ERA pitchers been pitching to?” Obvious answer: each other! Seattle and Oakland seem to play each other every other day, when they aren’t playing the Angels. Check Haren and Jered Weaver’s ERA’s :)

      • APBA Guy - May 31, 2011 at 12:32 PM

        Done deal. Those bivalves will be mine!

    • yankeesfanlen - May 31, 2011 at 12:20 PM

      Good morning, APBA. Now you know I’m not a skeptic, I’m the one who wants the Universe to do things his way. Tex has been a good boy lately and the bottom of the order has lately been scrappy.
      Posada is a problem that has gone away, although still playing periodically (I mean that in a sense that he stands in the batter’s box). Must have made the decision around 4/20 that 267HRs were enough, and he had come back to collect the paycheck and get his 6 needed out of the way early.
      As I’ve said before- who have these 2 ERA guys been pitching to? We raised the White Rabbit .29 in one game. Tonight (extending my bedtime substantially) Freddie will do his imitation of the departed Mr. Fiddley-Fart, give up a few, and we’ll hope that some mystery guest in the lineup will hit it out and not be signaled to bunt by Joe’s Big Book of Useless numbers and matchups.

      • APBA Guy - May 31, 2011 at 12:32 PM

        See my reply above, which somehow ended up under Gator’s comment…

  14. professor59 - May 31, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    I love how Rotoworld, which usually goes with straight headlines, wrote: Our Great National Nightmare is over – Jo-Jo Reyes Wins a Game”. Priceless!

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