Skip to content

Folks are doubting Bartolo Colon

Jun 1, 2011, 12:30 PM EDT

New York Yankees v Texas Rangers Getty Images

Bob Klapisch writes about Bartolo Colon and the stem cell procedure he received.  He doesn’t go as far as John Harper did with Jose Bautista in terms of veiled accusations of PED use, but if you could find any evidence in his story that he believes Colon and his doctor when they say that Colon is clean, please point it out to me, because I can’t find it.

Most of the article is spent talking about Major League Baseball’s suspicions of Colon, even though no Major League Baseball official has been willing to go on record with any suspicions.  And this passage provides some pretty good guilt-by-association fodder:

Bud Selig will be looking for ways to govern players on hiatus or in semi-retirement, especially those living in other countries. Currently, there’s no way to stop anyone from loading up, whether it’s HGH or steroids. Colon, then, would fit neatly into the Yankees’ PED culture of the early 2000s. There was Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte, Jason Giambi, Chuck Knoblauch, David Justice – and now Colon. But Purita is protesting any loose logic that indicts his client.

The alpha and omega of the case against Colon is that he worked with a doctor who has used HGH in his practice with other patients.  That’s it.  Of course, Marlon Byrd uses BALCO’s Victor Conte as his supplement provider and we don’t assume that he’s dirty, so there must be something else at play here.

The only thing I can figure: a guy we thought was finished turns out not to be finished after all.  Something which, once upon a time, we thought was a pretty uplifting story.  Guess we don’t think that anymore.

  1. Jonny 5 - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    Rumor has it and I heard this from “a source” Roy Halladay’s stem cells were used on Colon.

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:39 PM

      I heard from an unnamed source that a single Halladay stem cell goes for $7.2 million on the black market.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:45 PM

        Dollars or Pesos ? Even though they will soon be equal anyway…..

      • Chris Fiorentino - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:54 PM

        I guess it depends on whose Colon you use it on…

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:57 PM

        Um didn’t you hear? Mexico is gone as is the Peso, I assume.

        http://www.theonion.com/articles/mexico-killed-in-drug-deal,18109/

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:12 PM

        If you inject a dugong with Nexus 6 (no incept date) stem cells do you necessarily get a Colon? I’d have thought you’d get just a really robust appendix but then I’m gutless about these sorts of predictions.

        Lets do this by process of elimination; couple years ago he couldn’t throw for sh!t. Now he moves the mail. Medical miracle or did he just need an arm enema? Is this stem cell process the New Black, or just another passing fad? We need a stool pigeon who was there saw what went down and can be irrigated just enough to drop his load of information (Fleet makes a great product for the job).

        Anybody flush with stool pigeons?

        If not then all we have to go on is the roughage here. He is not joust dripping the kids at the pool out there; he is chipping the porcelain he’s firing it so hard. 96 mph on occasion. That Colon is POWERFUL. Whatever it was that that doc did to him, lets hope it’s legal and lots more pitchers can have it done (Scott Kazmir anyone?).

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:32 PM

        Cur, are you implying he’s got special colon powers where his quality gets better with fiber? I’m trying to decipher this… Is it the fiber?

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:38 PM

        Jonny he’s just scouring the opposition. Just scouring them. Takes amoral fiber for that kind of process. I tells ya the sphincter factor for oppo hitters must be down to a 24 gauge when they gotta contemplate Colon getting ready to unload on them.

  2. yankeesfanlen - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:38 PM

    Well, I think it’s been an uplifting story since spring training. If we review the transcipts of many HBT posts and comments from that period, I was one of the few saying that if there was a Garcia-Colon decision I would take Colon. Turns out we needed both.
    The press around here likes to play curmudgen, bring me the things you can prove, and THEN shame on me.

  3. seanmk - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    he beat a struggling at the time white sox, a bad baltimore team, and a bad athletics team in a pitchers park no less. he’s got a swinging strike percentage of 6.0%, but a k/9 of 8.4. he’s 38 yet learned something new? something has to give and i’ve got a feeling it’s the k/9 that will give before anything else.

    this is just a nice stretch for him. not sure how much longer it will keep up, though he faces the angels, another struggling to score team so possibliy at least another start.

    • henryd3rd - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:56 PM

      When his turn comes up in the rotation he pitches. So what if he beat a struggling Oriole team, or he pitched in a pitcher’s park the bottom line is he is winning and there are a lot of major league pitchers who can’t say the same. Jo Jo Reyes pitches for a team that score bunches of runs and he ties an MLB record of 28 straight starting assignments without a win. I’d give Colon a pass based on the fact that he looks more like a bartender then a MLB pitcher and yet he still gets guys out.

  4. aceshigh11 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:02 PM

    What people don’t know is that Bartolo had Kuato from Total Recall implanted into his abdominal cavity during his surgery.

    Kuato reads the hitters’ minds and whispers which pitches to throw to him.

    OPEN YOUR MIIIIIND…OPEN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIND.

    This accusation makes about as much as sense as accusing him of PED use.

    • Jonny 5 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:07 PM

      So that’s why Joe west’s neck pouch looks smaller-ish…..

  5. drmonkeyarmy - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    All right, finally a PED story….right up my alley. In this case, however, the procedure he had on his shoulder is perfectly legitimate. Other athletes and non-athletes have had similar procedures done on various parts of their body. So, in this situation I don’t think any accusations are warranted.

    • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:17 PM

      Yeah, but that’s LOGIC, see doc? What are the quickly overheated, trollish and wankertastic PEDS-boys gonna do if you start with the logic from a position of knowledge, eh?

      Legitimate procedure or not; a guy who couldn’t throw and now can is going to get CREAMED by the PEDS trolls simply because its easier to cast aspersions than actually look into some facts and think a bit.

      • drmonkeyarmy - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:27 PM

        Just so you know, I haven’t abandoned my Rogue Chemist theory. I just don’t think it applies in this case.

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:35 PM

        Oh hell, I love the idea of a Rogue Chemist. He’s acting like no successful researcher ever before. No fame, no money, no notoriety, no Nobel Prize etc. I love the idea that there’s someone out there doing this just because they CAN. Dr. Michael Crichton, rest his soul, would LOVE such an idea.

      • drmonkeyarmy - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:42 PM

        Of course he is not acting like any successful researcher before, that is what makes him a rogue. It would be foolish for this individual to be distinguished in the field…too much to lose. Rather some guy or lady with a phd in organic chemistry or some related field who burned themselves out and is angry at society. Once they started drinking bourbon heavily, they decided the best way to last out at the world is to make PED’s that are not detectable by standard testing.

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:46 PM

        ‘army you got a book there. Run with it I say. Handle this right and you might get a drink named after you: “Barkeep I’ll take a monkeyarmy, 2 olives & over ice, Guinness on the side”. You can work the recipe into the story. Just don’t go doing any practical research. Ruins the writing skill set. Trust me on this.

      • bcopus - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:46 PM

        Since when did logic help anything? If people listened to logic….where would we be!? 95% of worthwhile, lasting comedic situations would be no more…

      • drmonkeyarmy - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:51 PM

        Why would I do any research? I’m pretty sure I have the facts straight right now. I just have to figure out a way to blame the Rogue Chemist for the epidemic known as sabermeterics.

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:05 PM

        Good character has to have a foil/straight man. There’s your sabermatrician. Trapper to the Chemist’s Hawkeye. Butch to the Chemist’s Sundance. Pryor to Wilder. Leno to O’Brien.

        Write it backwards, like in Memento. Each chapter = “2 Hours Earlier”.

        Love interests are a must. You can have a Tiffany type character; both smarter and more savvy than the other 2, trying tot save them from themselves while they scrap over her.

        You need a cop type as well. Maybe a yankeesfanlen type guy? Part spy/Jack Bauer part misguided Yankees fan. He gets to wail the tar out of one of them.

        Can you write me in? I want to be a hopeless wino who witnesses the whole thing while pushing a shopping cart full of used medical equipment around and flunked out of grad school because he goofed off watching too much baseball. You gotta have one visible minority right?

      • drmonkeyarmy - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:12 PM

        I’d be more then happy to write you in. So you want to be wandering around the streets drinking whiskey out of a brown paper bag? You can be the narrator like Sam Elliot in the Big Lebowski.

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:17 PM

        Oh man, hell YES! Just remember the phrase “The gods of monkey’s and men decree (insert pity statement here)…”. That’s all me baby. And I want to have a beard. Like a Brian Wilson beard. Big enough to lose a chicken in.

  6. sdelmonte - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Alternate theory that makes more sense to me: why not just accept the fact that his body has less wear and tear overall despite his injuries? He’s barely pitched for so long that the rest of his body is relatively young. And the surgery, which is perfectly legitimate, did its job.

    Never mind that maybe he’s also just a smart pitcher who isn’t relying on youthful talents.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jun 1, 2011 at 3:16 PM

      Also remember that he pitched in winter ball, which most major leaguers don’t do. He’s 2-3 months ahead of schedule compared to all other pitchers. That and the layoff probably means his arm feels better than it has in 10-15 years.

  7. deathmonkey41 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    I heard they actually used Ron Jeremy’s stemcells.

  8. shaggylocks - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:40 PM

    It’s only an uplifting story when it happens on a team I support.

  9. wrigleyivy - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:44 PM

    Obviously fishy when he’s throwing 95 MPH in the 9th inning. He used to rarely touch that in his heyday. WTF?

    • henryd3rd - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:59 PM

      He’s drinking Dos Equis my friends during the games and Corona after the games. Stay thirsty!

  10. phukyouk - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    I dont doubt colon. i believe that hes real IRREGARDLESS of what the media says.

  11. sabathiawouldbegoodattheeighthtoo - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    I don’t think Bud has a leg to stand on here. If Colon was out of baseball, and had a legal procedure, what can MLB do? Even if Colon used HGH as part of the treatment, as many of that doctor’s patients legally do, Colon was not using while he was playing, so what can Bud say? What if Lester needed a steroid to recover from cancer treatment?

    If (a) it is a legitimate and legal medical procedure to treat an injury or illness, and (b) there is no evidence he used an banned substance while playing, what does MLB think it can do? More importantly, if it worked this well, and does not cause the types of health problems associated with anabolic steroids and such, why shouldn’t players do it? Aren’t these guys entitled to the best treatment options modern medicine can provide? Brandon Webb, Dustin McGowan, Mark Prior, Scott Kazmir, etc etc should all think about taking a year or two, getting completely healthy and coming back strong.

    How is baseball better with MLB forcing guys into injury-related retirement when effective treatment options exist?

    • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:14 PM

      Meh. More level headed logic with solid reasoning thrown in. No one’s gonna pay any attention to THIS sort of thing.

    • antifreeze27 - Jun 1, 2011 at 5:46 PM

      If I were Ben Sheets I’d be calling Colon for the Dr’s #.

  12. dexterismyhero - Jun 1, 2011 at 2:36 PM

    He should have his own scent.

    Bartolo Cologne. What would it smell like though?

    ugh!

  13. royalsfaninfargo - Jun 1, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    I must admit i am surprised that Klapisch would have even veiled criticism of any Yankee player. Normally his nose is so far in any New York teams ass that if he breathed he would burp a fart. On this point however, i think baseball needs to look long and hard about this.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Featured video

Patience finally paying off for Royals fans
Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. R. Castillo (3029)
  2. D. Ortiz (2269)
  3. J. Hamilton (2234)
  4. N. Arenado (2187)
  5. C. Kershaw (2151)
  1. G. Stanton (2118)
  2. A. Pagan (2061)
  3. M. Trout (2047)
  4. A. Pujols (2027)
  5. A. Rizzo (2000)