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So you wanna be an MLB beat reporter, huh?

Jun 1, 2011, 11:51 AM EDT

Astros Cubs Baseball

Paul Sullivan of the Chicago Tribune tweeting about his duties as the Cubs beat writer, which this morning included asking Carlos Zambrano how he felt after breaking a bat over his leg last night:

Oh jeez. Big Z just pulled his pants down to show me his legs. No bruises. “I got soccer legs.”

Watching baseball for a living and getting to look at a pants-less Carlos Zambrano’s soccer legs? Some jobs have all the perks.

  1. cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 11:58 AM

    I believe a reporter who shall remain nameless (hint; he has a daughter code named “Mookie”) has also seen Shelley Duncan’s old man pants-less. What is with you guys and dudes without their pants? It’s weird.

    • Old Gator - Jun 1, 2011 at 4:18 PM

      Hey man I wanna be an MLB beat reporter, beat down and beat on, beat out and beat around, doo-bah da dooh ba, gimme a cup of expresso man, and where are my bongos, batta batta bat bat bat, hey, I could file my stories in morse code, you know, batta batta batta BATTT! and where’s that viper breath, pass it over here, and hey, that’s George Shearing, man, turn it UP! and listen to those crazy cats chanting DEEEE-fense! DEEEE-fense, and where’s that copy of Naked Lunch man, gotta sit on something now I’ve got pockmarks in my ass from this beanbag chair, and when is that good for nothing Cody Pomeray coming back with my car, man, I’ve got to get to the staidum, and these sportswriters they don’t know nothing they talk about American Idol in the middle of calling their plays, man, and where are the great writers I grew up with, shit, I saw the best writers of my generation destroyed by madness, you know?

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 6:18 PM

        Holy shades of HST! This the foreword to “Fear and Loathing On the Cub’s Trail”? If so, work it into the revolution’s manifesto; a good manifesto needs some free range semi-coherent babble to instill fervor in the masses. Or to woo impressionable young women; whichever you find more appealing.

      • Old Gator - Jun 1, 2011 at 7:54 PM

        It was never my experience that revolutionary chicks required a great deal of wooing, man.

      • cur68 - Jun 1, 2011 at 8:53 PM

        Amen brother!

  2. paperlions - Jun 1, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    Now I understand why beat reporters ask such boring questions. Obviously, you have to be very careful about which topics your bring up.

  3. kopy - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    He’s right, though. I played soccer for 15 years all through childhood-early adult, and I have trouble buying boxers because while the waist is perfect, the circumference of the leg openings is too tight around my thighs. Too much information? You betcha.

  4. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I understand the concept of “soccer legs” but I’m not sure anything about Carlos Zambrano reflects anything related to soccer other than that he’s from Latin America and I believe they play a lot of that dang fooozball down there.

  5. Jonny 5 - Jun 1, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    So now this time it’s the bat. What will he break next?

  6. mookie311 - Jun 1, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    while interning for a TV station in baltimore back in 2005, i got to go into the clubhouse for postgame sound, and saw sal fasano naked.

    the image still haunts my dreams.

  7. royalsfaninfargo - Jun 1, 2011 at 4:20 PM

    Hes got nothing on Bo Jackson. Bo did it first and all other bat breaking incidents are measured by his standards. Keep trying Carlos.

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