Jun 2, 2011, 8:25 AM EST
I didn’t watch the Stanley Cup Final, but people tell me I should have because it would have turned me into a hockey fan. I dunno. I enjoy going to a game now and again, but the hockey ship sailed for me years ago and there’s probably no hope for me now. But I was told that it was exciting, so this is one of the rare instances in which you are excused if you didn’t pay attention to baseball last night. For those of you in that boat, here’s what you missed:
- If the season ended today, well, we’d be quite surprised and season ticket holders would feel ripped off. But at least we’d know who the rookie of the year was.
- Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Andrew Bailey!
- Meanwhile, Aroldis Chapman still has some work to be done. There’s a magnetic field down on the forest moon below him providing him protection, however. But don’t worry; the facility housing the shield generator is being guarded by a few dozen elite troops who can’t be defeated by a handful of teddy bears or anything.
- Chan Ho Park is not having a good go of it in Japan.
- The Diamondbacks and Royals made a trade.
- Jim Thome strained a quad.
- Daisuke Matsuzaka is going to have Tommy John surgery. Recovery usually takes 12-14 months. Dice-K will probably take 18 because that’s just how he rolls.
- That’s the night that the lights went out in St. Louis. That’s the night that they hung an innocent man. Don’t trust your soul to no backwoods southern lawyer. Cause the judge in the town’s got bloodstains on his hands.
- The Angels’ plane makes an emergency landing. Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak ‘em… leg ‘er down a smack ‘em yak ‘em!
Now, let us begin our day, shall we?
- Yasiel Puig says the Cardinals are the Dodgers’ “principal rivals,” not the Giants 61
- Jayson Werth to serve five days in jail for reckless driving 47
- Keith Law’s top 100 prospects list is out 39
- Great Moments in Media Arrogance: Marshawn Lynch edition 173
- Nationals sign former Blue Jays closer Casey Janssen 11
- Ichiro Suzuki’s deal with the Marlins is worth $2 million 35
- Orioles acquire outfielder Travis Snider from Pirates 37
- Not so fast on the Bud Selig Hall of Fame talk 52
- Great Moments in Media Arrogance: Marshawn Lynch edition (173)
- Rob Manfred, new Major League Baseball commissioner, suggests ban on defensive shifts (118)
- Why “Deflategate” would never happen in baseball (96)
- The Yankees are going to try to get out of paying A-Rod his contract incentives (83)
- Rosenthal proposal: make relievers face more than one batter per appearance (74)