Skip to content

Or maybe Harper should just embrace villainy

Jun 7, 2011, 12:30 PM EDT

Piper Snuka

Maybe I went too far in my advice to Bryce Harper this morning.  Maybe Ted Berg has a better idea about it all: a full-on heel-turn:

… make ‘em teach you, Bryce. Admire your moonshots. Maintain that godawful mustache. And maybe armor up a bit. The baseball world needs bad guys, and due to your unique situation, the crosshairs have apparently settled on you. Smile back and blow a kiss. Here’s hoping you make the bigs in time to have A-Rod pass you the torch.

I have to say that, if Harper is going to ignore my advice and continue to act like he’s been acting, the next best thing would be for him to totally own it.  Because hey, at least that would be entertaining.

And yes, I realize that pic is blurry. If you don’t know what it depicts already, a clearer pic won’t help you.  If you do know what it is, man, you’re awesome.

  1. bigxrob - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Piper’s Pit ruled.

    • baseballstars - Jun 8, 2011 at 4:50 AM

      I loved his bullshit-detecting sunglasses in They Live. My guess is that all the abnormal people he saw in those glasses were hedge fund managers, lobbyists, and politicians.

  2. dodger88 - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Piper rules!

  3. catsmeat - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:34 PM


    OH NO!

    • Andrew - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:59 PM


    • kopy - Jun 7, 2011 at 1:05 PM

      The best part about MLB, and Harper playing for a NL team that’s not the Cubs, is that this will really happen with every pinch hit appearance.

  4. cur68 - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Hmmm…isn’t that Roddy Piper and that Fijian dude who’s name escapes me at Piper’s Pit or some such?

    Bryce Harper as ARod’s understudy for MLB’s a-hole leader? Could be, but I think I know what Len would have to say about this…

    • yankeesfanlen - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:39 PM

      Leave ARod Alone! Don’t make me come down to that sandlot lookin’ for you!

    • b7p19 - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:41 PM

      If thats true, I heard Susan Summers is single…

  5. b7p19 - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    I do know what that picture is, but I’m not so sure it makes me “awesome.” At least not to most girls. If I’m not mistaken that involved some sort of foreign object being slammed on top of Suka’s head. I hate myself right now.

    • cur68 - Jun 7, 2011 at 1:54 PM

      Suka! Yes that’s who that is! Couldn’t for the LIFE of me think of that guy’s name.

      So ashamed yet so happy….

  6. xnumberoneson - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:41 PM


  7. Jonny 5 - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:44 PM

    I actually remember that picture taking place. And Piper was the man. Superfly was the man.That is all. Actually I liked Jimmy S.F.S. better.

  8. halladaysbicepts - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    Pipper’s pit was great.

    But, I think Harper needs a more subtle approach, Brother Love style.

    I looooooveeeee youuuuuuuu!!

  9. crpls - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:50 PM

    I agree with Berg. I want him to pull down his pants and wag his junk at these hack pitchers he crushes.

  10. sasquash20 - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    Harper is a douche bag. Talented, but still a douche bag. Gay-Rod isn’t even as big a douche bag as this kid.

    • tomemos - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:58 PM

      “Gay-Rod”? There’s no one I’d trust more than you to know who’s a douchebag.

    • Utley's Hair - Jun 7, 2011 at 3:29 PM

      Ah, nothing like the smell of homophobia in the afternoon. Grow up.

  11. SmackSaw - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    Make way for the bad guy. There’s a bad guy comin’ through! Better get outta his way!

  12. sdelmonte - Jun 7, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    Well, it seems that the “Bad Guy” method is helping the NBA, as ratings are up with the hated Heat in the finals. Personally, though, it’s a real turnoff for me. I don’t care less about that sport’s finals, and could do with that sort of nonsense in baseball.

  13. Andrew - Jun 7, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    I saw the kilt and instantly thought of Rowdy Roddy Piper. Good to know I was correct.

  14. Chris Fiorentino - Jun 7, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Maybe Harper can use his own version of the Roddy Piper line from “They Live”…

    “I have come here to chew bubble gum and hit home runs…and I’m all out of bubble gum”

  15. lampdwellr - Jun 7, 2011 at 1:29 PM

    Harper needs to turn heel immediately. Then when he gets to the bigs he can hold a joint press conference with Ryan Zimmerman where he’s seen the error of his ways, hug Zimmerman, and then superkick him through a barber shop window.

    Then he can start wearing vests made entirely of chains.

  16. Paul Zummo - Jun 7, 2011 at 1:51 PM

    Harper should start showing up at Nationals games before he’s even called up, running through the crowd to get to the field and smacking homeruns off of befuddled pitchers. Then he can cut a promo totally ripping the Nationals organization for holding him back. He can do this week after week until finally confronted by Jayson Werth. When Harper grabs the upper hand, that’s when Stephen Strasburg makes his surprise return to baseball. But then out of nowhere he drops a leg on Ryan Zimmerman. Then he rips off his shirt and starts ranting about how this new world organization is gonna run wild on Major League Baseball.

    Yeah, I watch too much wrestling.

  17. Brian Murphy - Jun 7, 2011 at 3:25 PM

    I should have read this before writing my comment over at your extended opinion piece on Harper.

  18. ezwriter69 - Jun 7, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    The kid’s been hated on, SERIOUSLY hated on by so-called adults since he was 14 years old, literally… booed, cussed out, truly hated on by strangers, grown men and women, since he was 14. I think it’s refreshing that he didn’t charge the mound, didn’t flip anybody off, he said in essence, you can’t bother me, none of you bother me. You’ll NEVER bother me. He laughed it off… and he’ll keep laughing while Calcaterra and the rest of the bitter envious old pharts and young wannabe haters keep grinding their teeth and swearing at him and vowing what THEY’D do if they just had a chance, or if they had any talent.

  19. royalsfaninfargo - Jun 7, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    For him to make the complete transition to heel he needs to start wearing his face-paint again and get some really cool intro music.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. D. Wright (3079)
  2. J. Fernandez (2530)
  3. D. Span (2455)
  4. Y. Cespedes (2442)
  5. G. Stanton (2437)
  1. F. Rodney (2162)
  2. Y. Puig (2162)
  3. M. Teixeira (2123)
  4. G. Springer (2061)
  5. H. Olivera (1964)