Comments on: A-Rod invests in coconut water brand, but endorses another

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 14:55:51 +0000

And this from a country where the closest thing to coconut water is maple syrup? It’s rough up there. We just wait for our fruit to fall to us. You guys gotta punch holes in your trees.

By: addictedzone

addictedzone — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 13:37:10 +0000

In maybe one of the worst advertisement photos of all time, that picture looks like they photoshopped someone’s head onto a picture from a Sears catalog backdrop. In fact, it looks a little like a Latin Gilbert Gottfried.

By: Jonny 5

Jonny 5 — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:54:03 +0000

Maybe he’s just an evil genius, taking this Vita-Coco company on by working his way in the door just so he can steal the “SECRET FORMULA”. Huh, how about that? Genius!

That or he couldn’t think because all of the blood rushed from his head to his lower extremities when they told him how many posters and billboards he’d be on. “Were do I sign?”.

By: Old Gator

Old Gator — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:25:23 +0000

It is awful stuff. It tastes like dishwater that’s been used to wash a coconut with a biodegradable detergent back about two weeks ago. You need to drink it cold enough to paralyze your taste buds or you’ll wind up gagging up whatever it was you used it to wash down. Here in Macondo, we just wait for a coconut to drop, check it for signs of lethal yellow, and if it seems OK we hand it to Cloverfield, our Catahoulan leopard hound, to peel off the husk. When she’s done – it usually won’t take her more than an hour or two – we throw the nut onto ice for a couple of hours more, then drive a brad into two of the eyespots and guzzle the stuff right out of the nut. Since the water has been in direct contact with the coconut meat, it actually tastes like coconut and goes down smooth n’ easy on a hot hot summer afternoon while the speidies are grilling. Then we bust up the nut and have us some fresh coconut and mango ice cream for dessert.

But drink the stuff processed, out of one of those waxed cardboard containers, and about all you can do is pat yourself on the back for consuming yet another faddish placebo for whatever it is you think ails you.

By: ccuchanticleers

ccuchanticleers — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 07:21:25 +0000

This is Brilliant!!! Since everybody hates A-Rod, they won’t want to drink the stupid coconut water he endorses and will drink some other brand, like Zico?

By: cur68

cur68 — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 05:02:53 +0000

When Len wakes up I know what he’s going to say, but before that happens let me say this; Leave ARod’s coconuts alone!

Seriously though, ARod doesn’t understand exactly what he’s doing even when he’s playing ball, never mind attempting to be an investor. No wonder Jeets can’t stand him.

By: nixonotis

nixonotis — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 04:19:42 +0000

Vita Coco is getting pretty big in NYC among the hipster crowd. Most insist it’s a cure-all after a long night of drinking, I, on the other hand, see it as a brilliant marketing technique designed to sell shitty tasting water at premium prices to dumb people.

By: royalsfaninfargo

royalsfaninfargo — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 03:55:21 +0000

We tried some of that coconut water in the Army. It is crap. Guess this is what happens when you sleep on piles of money and dry yourself off after a shower w/ $100 bills!

By: jwbiii

jwbiii — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 02:58:12 +0000

Alex Rodriguez doing something that makes him look kind of awkward and dumb? Really?

By: drmonkeyarmy

drmonkeyarmy — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 02:40:22 +0000

That is one of the funniest things I have heard all weak.

By: churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged

churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 02:39:49 +0000

You need to diversify your bonds yo!
-Wutang Financial