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And That Happened: Monday’s scores and highlights

Jun 14, 2011, 6:04 AM EDT

Ramon Santiago

I had every recap done this morning, hit “save” and then just as that happened something barfed on itself in Google Chrome and I lost it all. So if these recaps seem superficial, it’s only because I’m trying to type them with one fist punched in the monitor.

Tigers 2, Rays 1: A wilder one than the score suggests, with Ramon Santiago plating the winning run with an RBI triple in the tenth. A key play: Magglio Ordonez nailing Justin Ruggiano at the plate to complete a double play with the bases loaded. Watch for yourself. No great angles on that clip, but he looked safe to me on the second view following the Maddon argument.

Indians 1, Yankees 0: Four Indians pitchers — led by Carlos Carrasco — combine to toss a five-hit shutout. Well, seeing as though Carrasco gave up all five hits, I guess it wasn’t totally equitable. The bigger deal than the Yankees failure to generate any offense was Derek Jeter’s early exit due to a sore calf.

Pirates 3, Mets 1Paul Maholm pitched seven shutout innings — and Mike Pelfrey was nearly as good — but Maholm had at least a bit of support. The Mets and Pirates split the series. Both of these teams are seeking .500 baseball like it’s the Holy Grail, and each time they get close it slips through their fingers. So totally expect a Pirates loss tonight.

Reds 6, Dodgers 4: Bronson Arroyo and Hiroki Kuroda met a couple of weeks ago and had a pitcher’s duel. They met last night and had … something else. Still, since Arroyo drove in the go-ahead run in the seventh, I’d say it’s safe to say that he won the pitchers-helping-their-own-cause duel.

Padres 3, Rockies 1: Anthony Bass wins his major league debut after throwing 5.1 strong innings in Coors Field of all places. Then he’s promptly demoted. Life’s hard out there for a spot starter.

Astros 8, Braves 3: Four RBI for Hunter Pence, who extended his hitting streak to 23 games.  Derek Lowe follows up his near no-hitter by laying this moderate-sized egg. Which is quite a Derek Lowe thing to do.

Cubs 1, Brewers 0: Randy Wolf and Ryan Dempster put up a bunch of zeroes but the Cubs break through with the game’s only run on a fielder’s choice in the eighth. How very 2011 of them.

Diamondbacks 12, Marlins 9: Teams combine for 30 hits and 21 runs. How very 2001 of them.

Angels 6, Mariners 3: Vernon Wells with two homers. He credited his game to watching hours of video earlier in the day. I bet he was watching old “Monty Python” episodes. Those always put me in a good mood too.

  1. megary - Jun 14, 2011 at 6:44 AM

    Especially “The Cheese Shop”.

  2. juade - Jun 14, 2011 at 7:27 AM

    “It’s all abit zany, a bit madcap…Frankly, I don’t fully understand it myself. The kids seem to like it…”
    “Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb. Most of it’s up, until you reach the very, very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.”
    “I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off.”
    “I met my second wife at a second-wife swapping party. Trust me to arrive late.”
    “Your cat is suffering from what we vets haven’t found a word for yet.”
    “I’m mainly in comedy. I’d like to be in program planning, but unfortunately, I’ve got a degree.”
    – Taken from Kim “Howard” Johnson’s “The First 20 Years of Monty Python” (1989).

  3. wowbaggertheinfinitelyprolonged - Jun 14, 2011 at 7:58 AM

    Man in white coat emerges from underneath kilted Scotsman – “Don’t worry, I’m a doctor.”

    Man returns under Scotsman, only to re-emerge seconds later – “Well actually, I’m a gynaecologist, but I’m on my lunch hour!”

    Something wonderfully bizarre about all of that!

    And remember – “You are all individuals!”

  4. wowbaggertheinfinitelyprolonged - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:09 AM

    From my detailed and diligent researches – thank you Mr Google – Monty Python had little to say about baseball, except for the sketch where the Colonel, played by Graham Chapman, popped up just as Joe Girardi sent in the sign for yet another sac bunt, and said, “Stop that. It’s silly!”

    There is also a theory that the Spam Song is an fact an hommage to the number of Tony Le Russa’s pitching changes in any given game!

  5. StottsEra - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:10 AM

    wordpress should autosave every 5 min or so

  6. yankeesfanlen - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:25 AM

    Bottom of the first, bases loaded, no one out. Before the game, Girardi tells Jeter how proud he was of Gardner for finally perfecting the Cigar Store Indian play at third last week. Jeter pulls it off magnificantly.
    Catching on the rest of the crew figures that not hitting anymore must also be part of game strategy. By the fourth, we graft in not catching fly balls (Swish, the innovator) Indians follow suit and don’t hit anymore as well. And thus we have the virtues of a wrap around 4 game set.

  7. Phillies Homer - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:34 AM

    I think Yankees fans complain about their offense, or lack thereof, more than Phillies fans (sans bicepts). Which is silly.

    Though I guess it makes sense because the Yankees don’t win when their offense isn’t producing… the Phillies can still squeak out a 2-1 victory every now and again b/c of the ace factor.

    • vintage1496 - Jun 14, 2011 at 9:48 AM

      Wow, the Phillies can win when they score 0 runs? That’s impressive.

      • Phillies Homer - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:44 AM

        Not sure where I implied that. An “offense that isn’t producing” can still put up 2 – 3 runs per game. And since the Phillies pitching has been so strong, they are able to win those games.

      • vintage1496 - Jun 14, 2011 at 11:13 AM

        You never explicitly said that, it was a joke based on inference. Your comment makes it sound that, if faced with the same zero-run offensive output, the Phillies could win because of something called “the ace factor”… and their fans wouldn’t complain about their hitting.

        And the Yankees actually can win when their offense isn’t producing, as they have the second-lowest runs against in the AL.

      • Phillies Homer - Jun 14, 2011 at 11:37 AM

        Gotcha… forgot the Yankees put up a goose-egg yesterday. Was basically just speaking in generalities… but I see where the mix up occured!

        I have just been noticing a lot of Yankees fans on this board complaining about the lack of offense. Which is weird to me b/c of the offensive output they have put up so far this year.

    • deathmonkey41 - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:15 AM

      Are you crazy. I was at a bar the other night and I got an earful from Phillies fans crying about their lack of offense. That’s the topic of interest everyday in the breakroom at work. The Yankees have lost several 1-0, 2-1 victories this season.

      • Phillies Homer - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:41 AM

        I guess the point I was trying to make is… the Yankees are 2nd in runs per game (behind Boston) yet their fans cry about their lack of offense. Why? Is having the 2nd best offense that bad? Trying watching the Phillies offense recently… It could be worse.

      • deathmonkey41 - Jun 14, 2011 at 11:44 AM

        I think because of the feast or famine nature of the Yankees offense. They either hit like 8 HRs in a game or look like they’re facing Cy Young. There doesn’t seem to be any in-between. Also, the lack of situational hitting is frustrating. No bunting, moving runners over, etc… It’s like they’re always playing for the 3 run homer even though there’s only one guy on base. I’m sorry, if you have runners on first and second with no outs and Francisco Cervelli is up at the plate, he’d better be squaring around to bunt.

      • vintage1496 - Jun 14, 2011 at 11:50 AM

        Yup, you just said what I was going to write above – it’s feast or famine, which makes the famines so much more puzzling. Good talk fellas, see ya out there.

  8. churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:40 AM

    Per Jonah Keri’s twitter feed last night, here’s a pic of the play Craig mentioned:

  9. snowbirdgothic - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    Clearly Jeter needs to stop his silly knees-bent running about advancing behaviors.

  10. cur68 - Jun 14, 2011 at 8:42 AM

    No Blue Jay’s game last night. Pending the Orioles getting past Canadian Border Authorities WITH Adam Jones & Jeremy Guthrie in tow, they’ll play tonight. I expect the Jays to be well rested since they haven’t played any Major League baseball since the middle of last week.

    • deathmonkey41 - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:17 AM

      They could be winded from chasing all those balls though.

      • cur68 - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:23 AM

        Didn’t have to chase the ones in the stands so they rested between those.

  11. paperlions - Jun 14, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    Clearly Ruggiano should have run over the catcher, because that is what good hard baseball is all about. Of course, when you are never even tagged, you don’t expect to be called out.

    Darwin Barney also doesn’t play good hard baseball, choosing to slide around the catcher to score the winning run, of course, if he would have run the catcher over instead and failed to dislodge the ball, he would have been out.

    • Jonny 5 - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:17 AM

      “Darwin Barney also doesn’t play good hard baseball, choosing to slide around the catcher to score the winning run”

      I’ve seen the same thing a couple of times since the Cousins/ Posey “incident”. Not for the winning run. But runs nonetheless which we all know can become “the winning run” by the end of a game.

      • paperlions - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:52 AM

        That is because even before the Cousins incident, almost every player always slides into home or slides around the catcher if there is any sort of available lane.

  12. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 14, 2011 at 10:25 AM

    Fun fact: last night was the first 1-0 score ever in New Yankees stadium.

    • dink53 - Jun 14, 2011 at 12:38 PM

      That’s not a fun fact, that’s an announcer stat. There’s a clear difference, because fun facts are (using the word to define the word) “fun”.

  13. Old Gator - Jun 14, 2011 at 11:16 AM

    Well, the struggling Feesh offense awakened last night, more or less, pounding out 16 hits and nine runs. Unfortunately, the peetching chose last night to collapse so spectacularly that it wasn’t enough to win. Ricky Nolasco pitched what was arguably the worst game of his entire career, giving up nine runs, five earned, in three innings, ably abetted by a Bonifacio error, and the Snakes bit the boolpen for three more.

    The Feesh fulfilled my dire prophecy, issued near the end of their last series with the Snakes, that they were about to slide painfully out of contention. And fulfilled it in spades. I was figuring on a protracted period of near-.500 baseball that would see them lodged firmly between the Mutts and Braves by July 1, maybe two or three games above the strange attractor and trapped there like a white dwarf orbiting a black hole, not the total 1-10 nosedive they went into as soon as they got home. They must look to the Feelies like a bag of Omega-3 salmon rawhide jerky to an old blue tick hound as they wend their way northward to be snacked upon by the division leaders.

    Now at a game below the strange attractor, no one can accurately predict what’s going to happen next because once you slip beneath it quantum rules apply, and I can’t do differential equations on this old Royal McBee – I never should have donated my Babbage Engine to the Macondo Museum of Science, dammit – so I am going to have to rely on messages from my Ouija Scrabble board from now on.

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