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Ozzie Guillen’s ejection was pretty hilarious

Jun 21, 2011, 9:12 AM EDT

Guillen ejection.bmp

For what it’s worth, I think Ozzie Guillen had a good point when he argued that Alexi Ramirez was wrongfully called out on what looked like a foul ball in last night’s Cubs-White Sox game.

But his argument and ejection were awesome, mostly for the reaction of Cubs’ catcher Geovany Soto when Guillen kicked his catcher’s mask.  If I were Soto I’d probably react the same way. And then today I’d try to track down Guillen and ask him if he’d autograph the mask for me, which I’d then mount in my rumpus room next to a still picture of the kick.

  1. Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:18 AM

    (a) It isn’t worth much, and (b) Ozzie can add infantile immaturity to his long list of failings, along with stupidity, cluelessness, incoherence, dribbling and genetic malfeasance. I hereby nominate him for the Presidency of Venezuela.

    • crpls - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:22 AM

      The single reason to root for the White Sox year in, year out is so Ozzie keeps his job.

      • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:28 AM

        Then root as hard as you can. In fact, take a summer sabbatical at the J. B. Rhine institute at Duke University. Let them stick wires in your head if they have to in order to refine whatever native capability for psychokinesis you were born with. Anything to help you keep Vulvate Lips in Chicago and away from the Feesh.

    • hasbeen5 - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:38 AM

      Genetic malfeasance? Is that in reference to his Latin heritage? Racist.

      • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:53 AM

        As I sit here sipping my cafe con leche and gnawing on my arepa con huevos pericos, I have to giggle at what an incredibly stupid comment that is. Do you write headlines for TPN in the evenings? Mine was a reference to his imbecile offspring, and I suspect that he would be an imbecile whether his cretinous papa were Latino, Japanese, Serbian, Jivaro or Boskopoid. I admit, of course, that the “nature vs. nurture” argument remains wide open, and that we can’t be sure if Ozzie’s son is a moron because of some malformed chromosome or because he was raised by a moron – but I’m a great believer in Occam’s Razor and so have opted for the simplest explanation.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:02 AM

        What’s “funnier” is hasbeen5 has 2 thumbs up for basically misunderstanding you then laying the label “racist” on you as well. Ahhh gotta love people. I can’t blame them for misunderstanding, but to just blurt out something like that? NOT COOL.

      • cur68 - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:16 AM

        hasbeen5; In case you have more trouble with Gator’s grasp of elocution (yeah; it’s a tight grasp so you better lift some weights if you’re going to read this stuff. Your grip needs work) let me translate; Ozzie’s kids are idiots/inbred/not very smart. I think Gator’s been known to accuse one J. Loria of the same production of progeny that was also known as ‘genetic malfeasance’. To put it as plainly as I can; “that have not at least room temperature IQs”. So the comment was NOT racist; it was progeny-ist.

        I suggest that if that’s where your mind jumps to then you see Ozzie’s ‘race’ long before you see Ozzie’s decorticate posturings as comical and his grown children as spoiled twits who need to do something in baseball before they are allowed to comment publicly on baseball, then it is you who is having trouble with ‘race’.

        Old Gator; I thought we had an agreement? “Pilodinal” not “vulvate”. I can’t even look at the man when you write stuff like that. How am I supposed to enjoy his daily on field contortions when you put images like that out there? God help me if he ever eats a hot dog on camera.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:25 AM

        Cur, when I was a teen,I knew a man who used the even more improper version of that word multiple times, daily. It was a freaking riot. But only because it was a friend’s dad, and not my dad.

      • cur68 - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:36 AM

        J5; I can see where that would be indeed hilarious. As a lad I was once in the habit of referring to all Volvo automobiles as such. I would then comment on the color of the car and the meaning in relation to age, disposition, general health, and willingness to be my ‘friend’. I alone found this amusing (actually, when I first took this up in an effort to be witty, I think my then girlfriend found it funny too, but she was a nice girl was too inhibited to actually belly laugh. We didn’t last, needless to say) and I eventually gave up the practice (after about 10 years). It became awkward when I had to translate my idle musings for my daughter who had a habit, when she was small, of repeating things she’d heard her daddy say while in traffic.

      • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:49 AM

        cur: yeah, sorry. It’s just that you-know-what occurs to me more spontaneously than a cyst. Now if we were talking about the Tropicana Dump instead….

      • hasbeen5 - Jun 21, 2011 at 12:43 PM

        Good lord guys, relax. He said genetic and Venezuela in the same post. Just joking.

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:19 AM

      Gator racist? HAHAHAHAHAHA! hasbeen5, go back to being a hasbeen or a neverwas or a nevershouldhaveclickedsubmitaftertypingstupidshitbecauseIcantread.

      One thing Gator and I will never agree on is the awesomeness that is Ozzie.

      • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:47 AM

        Perhaps there does exist some alternate universe wherein I view Ozzie as the second coming of Casey Stengel, although harder to understand, and you think of him as Hugo Chavez in drag with pilodinae for lips.

  2. sknut - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    I do think if the Sox finish under .500 Ozzie will be gone, he seems to have a shelf life and I am thinking his is up with the Sox.

    • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:36 AM

      More like a half-life if you take his socks into consideration.

  3. Jonny 5 - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    That was funny as hell. And another thing. Soto looks like a little Optimus Prime
    behind the plate with that chest protector he has now. I think it every time I see him, and I wanted everyone else who reads this to do the same.

  4. deathmonkey41 - Jun 21, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    I think Ozzie’s pretty funny and the dude’s won a World Series- a lot of managers come and go without being able to say that. As for Soto- that reaction was hillarious and it shows that he’s a good sport about things.

    • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:56 AM

      I agree that Ozzie is “funny,” but then I think the look on the face of a hamster that has just been seized by a corn snake is pretty funny too.

  5. wkinsomnia - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    Gator…this, is one of those times where you should have just stfu and kept your long, babbling, drawn-out comments to yourself. Pressure is the face of the White Sox, like it or not…and everett true Sox fan out there (like myself) loves the guy. How are your Marlins Coaches doing this year btw?

    • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:54 AM

      wkinsomnia: in response to your first suggestion, I demur (which is my long, babbling, drawn-out way of suggesting that if Ozzie is the face of the White Sox, let’s hope you keep a ready supply of rubber tourniquets available for when you chew your arm off before leaving the stadium.

      In response to your second insinuation, check back over the last few weeks if you want to know what I think of how the Feesh are doing or what I think of their coaches. I think you’ll find my commentary rather less kneejerk-homeboy about it than your own.

  6. wkinsomnia - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:23 AM

    Jesus…shitty auto-spell correct. ‘Pressure’ was suppossed to be ‘Ozzie’ in my last post. Oh well…you get my point. Ozzie is a staple of White Sox heritage, and although he can tend to get carried away at times, we don’t mind because of his passion for the game. not to mention you can not and will not find another Manager in sports that ‘tells it like it is’ regardless of consiquence the way that he does. You have got to respect that to some degree…no matter who you are or how much you dislike the man.

  7. FC - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:29 AM

    Ozzie is just too Entertaining to NOT be in Baseball in some capacity. Besides he was right. Think of it this way. That colorful reaction will get far more clicks and traction in the news. It will help point out that once more, umpires could help themselves by having access to an in-booth Umpire that can quickly see the replay and determine thumbs up or thumbs down on a field call in less time that whole tirade at home plate took.

  8. JB (the original) - Jun 21, 2011 at 10:59 AM

    Video has been pulled by MLB

    • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 11:20 AM

      Don’t worry. I assure you it will make its way to YouTube soon enough.

      • smorris793 - Jun 21, 2011 at 11:27 AM

      • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 12:03 PM

        Way to go! And now will the real Doctor Fedderman please report to neurosurgery immediately. The MLB censor needs to have a pole removed from up his ass.

      • NickT - Jun 21, 2011 at 12:48 PM still has the video from the White Sox broadcast:

        I used the MLB At Bat app to watch this play from both broadcasts, and there wasn’t a conclusive angle in either of them.

        Based on where Soto’s foot was, and his hand in relation to his foot, I’d say the ball was still on the plate.

  9. Senor Cardgage - Jun 21, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    I never saw a replay that conclusively showed the ball in foul territory when it was picked up. Then Pierzynski popped out to end the inning and they just dropped it.

  10. APBA Guy - Jun 21, 2011 at 11:47 AM

    Ozzie better hope he doesn’t end up in Macondo. The CWS have been incredibly patient with him and his spawn, and in this era of massive owner egos, that WS win was a long time ago. Mr. J Loria is not known for either patience or loyalty, and while April along Biscayne Bay beats the hell out of April along Lake Michigan, he would not have to endure having his every move dissected by OG. I’m sure I’d rather stay in Chicago and hide out at Gene & Georgetti’s than see my name in this blog being unfavorably compared to some slime-thriving, single-cell, microscopically small sac of protoplasm.

    • Old Gator - Jun 21, 2011 at 12:01 PM

      I can’t recall ever comparing Ozzie to Pfiesteria, though. Its life cycle is far too complex.

      My great cynical champagne socialist cousin Tim, who runs an upscale employment agency for museum and gallery managers and curators in London (UK, cur68; that’s London UK) once dated the associate chief pathologist at Scotland Yard. A very attractive woman, too – she would make a fine subject for a BBC sitcom if she hadn’t finally left to manage a chain of discos (really). Anyway, she and Tim came down to Macondo for a visit a few years back and we went to dinner at a local Peruvian restaurant of which I am immensely fond. She ordered an Andalusian omelet and while we were eating, we slowly noticed that she was, literally, cutting it up as if she were dissecting a corpse – delicately slicing around a pea or a fragment of pork or a cube of potato and lifting it cleanly out of the egg surrounding it, for example. When she noticed all of us staring at her and beginning totally to crack up, she said “Listen, it’s such a pleasure to be dissecting something that hasn’t been floating in the Thames for a week.”

      I leave the entire subject of “dissecting” Ozzie on that note.

      • cur68 - Jun 21, 2011 at 12:09 PM

        Gator, the only London I am aware of is in Ontario. I know f 2 “Parises”; 1 is in Texas and the other internet porn. I believe there was once a “Brooklyn” in a “Beckham” but I understand that problem was delivered safely. What is this “UK” of which you speak?

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