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You asked me questions on Twitter. So I shall answer them.

Jun 23, 2011, 12:00 PM EDT

The Question

I’m noticing a pattern lately. Almost all of the questions are about (a) science fiction; (b) alcohol; or (c) baseball, and that is in descending frequency.  And actually, I’m OK with that.

Q: Dylan- Plugged or unplugged? Himself or cover versions?

All have their merits, of course. “Bringing it all Back Home” is a happy medium, no?  As for covers: Hendrix’s version of “Watchtower” may be the greatest cover ever, and certainly stands superior to Dylan’s own, but for every good Dylan cover, there are a bunch of terrible ones. For example, did you know that Sheryl Crow has a warrant for her arrest in at least 15 states for what she did Dylan’s “Mississippi?”  It’s true! Or else it should be!

Q: Can the Nats have a winning season? BTW, this team is about to go .500 if they win tonight.

They did win and they are at .500.  I am just not all that optimistic about a winning season (note: this questioner later predicted the playoffs for Washington too, which I can’t see happening).  What is so different about this team now apart from some good luck and hot streaks and this team a month ago when they were stringing together losses like they were sausages?  In other words, I’ll keep an open mind about Washington, but you have to convince me why they’re legit.

Q:  Cake or death?

Well, cake, obviously. Unless it’s death-by-delicious-pie.

Q:  When is the last time baseball has seen a reliever as dominant as Jonny Venters, or have we, ever?

A 0.57 ERA and 24 hits allowed in 42 appearances is awesome — and I love Venters as much as the next guy, probably more so — but let’s wait until he can keep this up all season before we go putting him in the pantheon.  Dennis Eckersley, Eric Gagne and a good many others put up fantastic stuff over whole seasons. Multiple seasons, actually.  But yes, it is possible that we’re seeing something historic here.

Q: If you were on a desert island for the rest of your life and could eat only one food item every meal, what would it be?

Probably really good pizza or a nice rare steak. Or Pez. Cherry flavored Pez. No question about it.

Q: Going solely off estimates of their IQ, which Republican Presidential candidate do you suppose is the stupidest?

I think I’ll tread carefully here. Because, really, stupidity is not what I fear most in a potential leader, no matter what party they belong to. It’s their disregard for individual liberties and their tendency to go after enemies both real and imagined as if that were the point of their power.  Find someone with a track record for both stupidity and vindictiveness and that, my friends, is the scariest thing imaginable.

Q: Who would crush more wings…Boog Powell or Fernando Valenzuela?

I’m sorry, the answer is David Wells.

Q: Which version of the Enterprise is your favorite? Please explain your reasons in the original Klingon.

As far as the actual ship, the NCC 1701 E, because the Sovereign-class is pretty spiffy.  As far as the drama and action which took place on the ship, I’m going with the NCC 1701 D, because I am now and always will be a Next Generation nerd. My apologies to Captain Kirk.

Q:  Will the Twins rebound to make the playoffs?

Man, if they do I will have a lot of backtracking to do.

Q: More surprising .500 team on June 22: Pirates or Nationals?

Pirates, by far. My above answer notwithstanding, I figured that if everything broke just so, that the Nats could be respectable. I didn’t really think that of the Pirates last spring.

Q: How important is the bench coach to the execution and input of a mangers’ strategy?

Depends what strategy you speak of. For the how-to-find-a-great-pub-in-an-unfamiliar-city strategy, he is essential. For the baseball stuff? Eh, I’m a bit dubious.

Q: Why didn’t anyone make a big deal out of the fact that Star Trek:DS9 and Battlestar Galactica were the same series?

I didn’t have an answer for this, but another Tweeter did: “Because they were already tired from saying the same thing about DS9 and Babylon 5.”

Q: Which is your favorite Central Ohio Applebee’s?

They’re all so wonderful I’d hate to insult the others by choosing one ahead of them.

Q: Who wins the AL Central? On what date does MLB take control of the Dodgers? Jose Reyes, over/under: $120 mm this off season?

White Sox (I really don’t know, but I gotta stick with my original choice for now); July 1st, but a lawsuit happens; and over, though I don’t think it will end up being a great deal for the team.

Q: Zoe, Inara, Kaylee, or River?

Zoe and Inara intimidate me, for very different reasons. River annoys me, though I’d want to keep her around in case we were attacked. I gotta admit, I have a thing for Kaylee. Plus, since I am awful with tools, she would be really useful to have around in case my spaceship broke down.

Q: What’s your favorite baseball player name of all-time? Mine’s Cecilio Guante. Hon. mention: Salome’ Barojas & Sixto Lezcano.

All good choices, but you gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to beat Johnny Dickshot.

Q: Ha ha early punk fan. Nice. Misfits , V. Femmes, Ramones, etc.?

Yes?

Q: Tuck or No Tuck?

God, I hope you’re talking about “Robin Hood.”

Q: If you were to build a perfect baseball player, which four active players DNA would you require? Because you’re an evil genius.

Hmm. Some combination of Mariano Rivera, Roy Halladay, Matt Kemp and Albert Pujols. I’d make him into a power hitting center fielder who takes the mound every fifth day.  I figured I’d get me the first 25-game winner who also was a member of the 50/50 club.

Q: Have you ever heard of a fan strike like vs. Dodgers? That worked? 

All of the ones organized by talk radio or whatever have failed. This Dodgers thing is less a boycott than a function of exhaustion and despair, the likes of which would be hard to duplicate. Frank McCourt truly is one-of-a-kind.

Q: Who is @OldHossRadbourn? The truth must out!

Mike Lupica. Sorry Hoss. I could keep the secret no longer.

Q: Sam Adams or Sierra Nevada? 

Oh, Sierra Nevada. By leaps and bounds. And then a few more bounds and an extra leap tacked on at the end.

Q: Were you uncomfortable while at Fourth Street Live since you weren’t wearing an Affliction or Tapout shirt?

This refers to the little entertainment district in Louisville I happened upon last weekend. And yeah, I gotta admit, it’s not my usual scene. To give you a sense of the place, note that there are — in the middle of the closed-off street — beer stands.  Overheard while walking up to the beer stand: “they have both kinds of beer.”  This referred to the fact that they sold Bud and Bud Light.  Really, it was a half step removed from base savagery.

Q: Biggest irrational inflated ego: Pete Rose circa 1989, Barry Bonds circa 2001 or Frank McCourt circa 2011.

McCourt. I mean, at least Rose and Bonds had accomplished some stuff, which made their egos somewhat understandable.

Q: More exciting: Rickey Henderson or Barry Bonds?

Oh, Rickey.  I mean, early in his career Bonds had potential for actual excitement, but the secret that even the Bonds fanboys won’t admit to is that watching him at his productive height in the early 2000s was a fairly boring experience. Greatness? Absolutely. But really boring, truth be told.

Q: What is more likely: DiceK comes back with the GyroBall; Bartolo Colon has screws pop out of arm; or BobbyCox replaces Jack McKeon in Flordia?

Ben Greive makes a comeback and wins the stolen base title.

Thanks for the questions, folks!  Let’s do it again next week.

  1. Old Gator - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    If you ever get tired of that hamster, Fedex him to me. Friendo would love him.

  2. themanchine - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:10 PM

    Q: When is the last time baseball has seen a reliever as dominant as Jonny Venters, or have we, ever?

    Mariano Rivera

    • Kevin S. - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:12 PM

      Mariano Rivera, in the playoffs.

      FTFY.

  3. halladaysbicepts - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    “Why didn’t anyone make a big deal out of the fact that Star Trek:DS9 and Battlestar Galactica were the same series?”

    Both shows sucked. And this is coming from a major trekie and a fan of the original Battlestar Galactica.

    • aceshigh11 - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:32 PM

      I’m just getting into the newer version of Galactica, and you’ve gotta be out of your mind.

    • solidzac - Jun 23, 2011 at 2:38 PM

      and a fan of the original Battlestar Galactica.

      Well, there’s your problem right there.

  4. scottj27 - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:15 PM

    Q: What’s your favorite baseball player name of all-time?

    There needs to be an honorable mention to current Tigers reliever Charlie Furbush.

    • spudchukar - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:24 PM

      Yep, there is a little Chuck Furbush in all of us.

    • churchoftheperpetuallyoutraged - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:59 PM

      Rusty Kuntz or Dick Pole have to be up there as well.

  5. chrisdtx - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    E. Vedder’s cover of “Masters of War” is mighty fine, FWIW.

  6. Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    “Hendrix’s version of “Watchtower” may be the greatest cover ever”

    I shit you not…this song came on my Pandora station the second I read that line. That’s just spooky and awesome at the same time. Yes. best. cover. ever.

    • Jonny 5 - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:26 PM

      synchronicity.

      I don’t know this Elmore James song isn’t a bad cover either….

    • aceshigh11 - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:07 PM

      I cannot think of another song that was so jaw-droppingly reinterpreted as Hendrix’s version of “All Along the Watchtower.”

      The only other one that comes to mind is Johnny Cash’s version of Nine Inch Nail’s “Hurt”…I defy anyone to watch the music video for that song without getting tears in their eyes.

      I was haunted for a few days the first time I watched it.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:10 PM

        Cash DID nail Hurt. Nailed it to the wall. Also in my MP3 library.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:11 PM

        Agreed on all counts.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:13 PM

        When the Levee breaks was a good Young cover too.

      • spudchukar - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:37 PM

        Just chiming in. Totally agree.

  7. curufindir - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:25 PM

    Q: Which version of the Enterprise is your favorite?

    Gotta go with the TMP version of the Big E, myself. The Sovereign class is nice, but I could never get into the TNG aesthetic of flatter ships.

    Oh, and +1 for Sierra Nevada over Sam Adams.

    • Kevin S. - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:26 PM

      TMP never happened. That’s why they gave the reboot the exact same name.

  8. sknut - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Favorite name–Rusty Kuntz

    • kopy - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:04 PM

      Always been my favorite as well.

    • jimbo1949 - Jun 23, 2011 at 9:04 PM

      Vaseline will cure that

  9. spudchukar - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:33 PM

    Craig, regarding the Nats, the return of Zimmerman, might coincide with their current surge. Get them a centerfield, like I dunno, Colby Rasmus, and they have potential All-Star candidates at 6 starting positions, and with Morse and Nix contributing offensively they are dangerous. Look for them to move a reliever or two soon, most likely Coffee, who is rumored to be a hot commodity. I know their starting pitching is suspect, but so far it has held up pretty well, and my guess is .500 should be a modest goal.

    • halladaysbicepts - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:40 PM

      Spuds,

      Pass the word. This is the Bicepts last post on HB talk. I’m sick of the little children that run this site and want to citique me.

      No longer will I post on a site where the people are sheep.

      Craig, you are a nice guy and I appreciate your time on this site. Much thanks to you, Craig.

      • Kevin S. - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:42 PM

        One last bit of attention whoring from the attention whore? Oh, how we could only hope to believe you.

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:48 PM

        No need for spuds to pass anything except the bud (heh). The clear lack of douche in the comments will become glaringly apparent to everyone in a matter of hours. Peace be with you or whatever.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:55 PM

        Spuds, The Nats will finish above the Mets and possibly the Feesh this season. They are fair to middlin’ in the NL east. And yes Zimmerman makes them better.

      • aceshigh11 - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:08 PM

        No reason to throw a tantrum.

        You may not be well-liked, but every once in a while, you post something humorous.

        C’mon, stick around!

      • spudchukar - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:39 PM

        Was it something I said?

    • natstowngreg - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:26 PM

      .500 is the next stage in the Nats’ evolution from joke to contender. Then, sustaining .500. Zimmerman’s return and better than expected starting pitching (especially Jordan Zimmermann’s recovery) sure help, but this team also seems to be learning how to win.

      Coffey would be the logical bullpen guy to go, since he’s overachieving this season, and could fetch something by July 31. Sean Burnett, an underachiever this season, is possible because contenders will be looking for a lefty. Pudge might yet be traded to someone needing a backup catcher. This won’t be like last year, when the Nats had a big-contract free agent to be (Adam Dunn).

      This all assumes, of course, that the Nats will be sellers. That’s the most likely scenario, but one can dream…

    • handsfour - Jun 23, 2011 at 3:08 PM

      Coffee is a hot commodity? Nice one.

      • spudchukar - Jun 23, 2011 at 3:44 PM

        Thanks, but it is low hanging fruit.

  10. gvots - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    I can see where you were concerned Craig. The tucking inquiry was referring to Seinfeld/bed sheets. Not the Friar, or tranny logistics.

    • kopy - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:10 PM

      Everyone knows you only tuck in at the foot of the bed, and leave the sides untucked.

      • gvots - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:30 PM

        I’m definitely a “no tuck”. I probably wouldn’t even do the foot of the bed if my wife would let me get away with it.

  11. aleskel - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    “Why didn’t anyone make a big deal out of the fact that Star Trek:DS9 and Battlestar Galactica were the same series?”

    uh, because BSG’s showrunner (Ron D. Moore) had a big hand in DS9 during it’s run? And it’s not unusual for writers/producers to cover similar themes in different works?

  12. b7p19 - Jun 23, 2011 at 12:49 PM

    I don’t agree with the all righthanded perfect baseball player approach. I would want a lefty to go along with halladay so he could pitch from either side and a switch-hitter at the plate.

    • Jonny 5 - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:11 PM

      Genius!

    • kopy - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:36 PM

      What if you combined two right-handed pitchers, but one of them had a sidearm delivery? That way the pitcher could randomly decide to throw overhand or sidearm with every pitch in an at-bat. I feel like that would really mess with a hitter.

      • Jonny 5 - Jun 23, 2011 at 2:10 PM

        Sounds like my kid. He naturally throws sidearm, and has refined his over hand delivery, using both while pitching. He doesn’t have the best velocity so this really helps to get kids out.

      • Utley's Hair - Jun 23, 2011 at 2:20 PM

        You need to work on his batting skills too.

  13. Gardenhire's Cat - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    I’m sorry, but there’s no way in hell Mike Lupica is @OldHossRadbourn because Lupica is (a) not funny and (b) not clever enough.

    • Kevin S. - Jun 23, 2011 at 1:44 PM

      Somebody needs a tuneup on their sarcasm meter.

  14. gogigantos - Jun 23, 2011 at 5:13 PM

    oh I do miss me some Sierra Nevada
    Pale
    Porter
    Stout
    loved the whiskey post
    miss miss miss me some Sierra Pale effin Ale
    Winter
    Fall
    Holiday
    lived long enough to see it in the super market aisle
    in this asian land there is none,,,,
    ready to import, and think they may be ready for it too
    help me

    • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jun 23, 2011 at 5:31 PM

      where are you? are you only allowed to right in extended haiku? is there a gun to your head? where do we send the 12-pack variety pack? be well sir and keep fightin’ the good fight.

      • cur68 - Jun 23, 2011 at 11:51 PM

        I think 1 time he said Taiwan, or maybe it was Thailand but it’s definitely someplace in Asia (or Asia-ish). The haikuss are pretty cool. Wish I could write like that…

  15. nicosamuelson2 - Jun 24, 2011 at 5:10 PM

    The White Stripes’ cover of “Lovesick” is my personal favorite.

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