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Brief Digression Theater: Do you lie while getting a haircut?

Jul 1, 2011, 11:41 AM EDT

pinocchio

In the great HardballTalk tradition of “do you put your ketchup in the refrigerator?” comes another random question that has absolutely nothing to do with baseball …

Earlier this week I got a haircut and shortly after sitting down the woman asked me what I did for a living. Without hesitation I replied “accountant” and that pretty much shut down the rest of the conversation, because really how many possible follow-up questions are there for someone who’s an accountant?

At the time it seemed like an amusing thing to do, but then I started thinking that maybe it means I’m insane. So my question is …

Does anyone else ever make up stories while getting a haircut?

(I’d ask Calcaterra, but … well, you know.)

My first haircut lying experience so successfully reached my goal of limiting small talk and encouraging silence that I’m already planning my next story. Pretty soon I’ll be wearing certain clothing to haircuts in order to corroborate my lies. And if that seems like a needlessly complicated and cruel way to interact with a stranger then you’ve never seen someone’s confused reaction when you reply “baseball blogger.”

  1. heyblueyoustink - Jul 1, 2011 at 1:06 PM

    Lie you say? Why of course i’m single darlin’ ;*) ……….

    Of course I save the big guns for Atlantic City: Seismic Geologist by trade…….

  2. nightman13 - Jul 1, 2011 at 1:50 PM

    Tell her you’re a plastic surgeon and ask if those are real. She’ll clam up or you get to have a very interesting conversation.

  3. uuddlrlrbastart - Jul 1, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    I don’t lie, but I don’t talk much. My barber is completely awesome and always has stories to tell. Anything I have to say just gets in the way something way more interesting or amusing.

  4. mornelithe - Jul 1, 2011 at 5:55 PM

    I typically go to the same stylist, who knows part of my family. Lying to her would simply be stupid. Never felt it necessary, myself.

  5. capsboy - Jul 1, 2011 at 6:27 PM

    I don’t mind the chit chat but for some reason if they ask “how long has it been since your last haircut?” I always say ” about a month”. Even though I almost always go at least two months between cuts.

    Do I really think I am fooling them? And even if I am, Why?

  6. kiwicricket - Jul 1, 2011 at 8:24 PM

    Why pay someone for something that I can do myself? I can, and do, cut my own hair.

    • cur68 - Jul 1, 2011 at 10:32 PM

      Oddly enough Kiwi, the only other guy I knew who cut his own hair is also in Oz. Must be something about the climate…

      • kiwicricket - Jul 2, 2011 at 4:09 AM

        Haha, please don’t lump me in with that lot. Australians, or people who cut their own hair. It was an Office ref.

  7. cur68 - Jul 1, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    I have to lie. No, really. I go to the same place all the time. The guys there are Lebanese, related, really friendly and speak about 6 languages (simultaneously I think). They all know me and they all talk about the customers they are serving (tip to all; wash your neck, behind your ears and wear a shirt with a clean collar when going to get your hair cut). None of them know I can understand about a quarter of what they say so I’m able to eavesdrop a bit. The problem is that the first time I went there one of their wives was there. She was pregnant, and obviously so. She asked me what I did. I lied, because you NEVER tell a pregnant woman you work in an NICU or have any training in medicine at all, EVER. Not unless you want to see a crying, pregnant woman, in a room full of uncomfortable men holding sharp implements, you don’t. Now they all think I’m a shoe salesman and I can’t correct them because they’d know I lied to one of their wives. I have been forced to google facts about shoes every time I need a haircut. God, my life sucks sometimes. Got a good haircut though.

  8. macjacmccoy - Jul 2, 2011 at 4:01 AM

    No I dont lie and hell yea if its open you gotta keep it cold bc you can always heat it up in the microwave if you want it warm in like 10 seconds but you cant really get it cold in a servicable time frame.

    • macjacmccoy - Jul 2, 2011 at 4:08 AM

      I get my $5 haircuts at Kims in Kensington by Koreans who barely speak english all you say is i want this this and this in the beggining and then the talking is over. They also give a better hair cut for 5 bucks then the 40 dollar shops in center city.

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