Skip to content

Your Roger Clemens chuckle of the morning

Jul 7, 2011, 10:22 AM EDT

Roger Clemens departs with his wife Debbie Clemens after the first day of his perjury trial, at the federal courthouse in Washington

I find this funny for some reason. Under the headline “Clemens not getting a lot of love from jury pool” comes a report that, really, it has not been all that hard to find people who don’t know the first thing about The Rocket:

So far the pitcher hasn’t gotten a lot of love from the line of Washingtonians who have been questioned about their fitness to serve on his trial. There were some sports fans in the group, but most said they don’t know much about him.

Which is how it should be with a jury, of course. ┬áBut if there’s any former player who bristles at this while thinking “don’t you know who I AM?” you figure it has to be Clemens.

That said, it’s in his best interests, I think, that they don’t know who he is. Because I don’t get the sense that to know Roger Clemens is to love him.

  1. Chris Fiorentino - Jul 7, 2011 at 10:36 AM

    Prospective Juror: “Roger Clemens…he’s that really rich guy who took steroids and could have been sitting by the pool in Texas right now…but had to go and open his big f*****g mouth in front of Congress and now is in a deep pile of s**t?”

    • bjavie - Jul 7, 2011 at 10:50 AM

      Good stuff! You just cannot lie to Congress. Your feelings on what Congress is doing, whether or not it’s a waste of $$, whether or not Congress should be focussed on more importants things, etc., etc. is neither here or there.

      If Congress asks you the best way to make a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhich, you cannot say with Creamy Jif if your a Chunky Skippy guy.

      Saftey tip of the day: Don’t lie to any 1/3 of the gov’ts main branches.

      • seimiya - Jul 7, 2011 at 10:51 AM

        Besides, what kind of idiot would be a chunky skippy guy? Those people practically deserve be thrown in prison. Chunky peanut butter is for heretics and terrorists.

      • Jonny 5 - Jul 7, 2011 at 10:58 AM

        Chunky peanut butter is vastly superior to creamy peanut butter. That is all.

      • seimiya - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:00 AM

        Wrong. Have a nice day!

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:06 AM

        J5 has it right again. Question: how does a pie-loving, chunky pb eating, civil and scholarly person like Jonny 5 become a Phillies fan?

      • gammagammahey - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:07 AM

        Perjury! Creamy Skippy all the way!

      • b7p19 - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:21 AM

        All chunky all the time. No question about it.

      • bjavie - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:28 AM

        Gald I could get that started. Yay me!

        For the record: Reduced Fat Creamy Jif.

        Chunky tears the bread, man!!!!

      • Mr. Jason "El Bravo" Heyward - Jul 7, 2011 at 1:00 PM

        Get some tougher bread or toast it first. Boom.

      • jimbo1949 - Jul 7, 2011 at 2:33 PM

        Only thing worse than chunky PB is refrigerated chunky PB. Warm and creamy rules.

  2. seimiya - Jul 7, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    The fewer know about him, the fewer know he used to put icy hot on his balls.

  3. gammagammahey - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:09 AM

    If the jurors are really unfamiliar with his career, maybe he should show them video evidence of the time he was hypnotized into believing that he was a chicken. Surely that could play into his defense’s strategy.

  4. phillydano - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:29 AM

    who’s the chick in the background?

    • jwbiii - Jul 7, 2011 at 2:50 PM

      Looks like Mrs. Clemens.

  5. royalsfaninfargo - Jul 7, 2011 at 11:50 AM

    I wonder if they will call Mindy McCready as a witness?

    Just to clear things up for all of you- Chunky peanut butter and pie are the answers!

  6. Matt - Jul 7, 2011 at 7:15 PM

    I think that Clemens should just take the stand and tell the jury that his inaccurate statements to Congress were not intended to be factual statements. It worked for Senator Kyl.

Leave Comment

You must be logged in to leave a comment. Not a member? Register now!

Top 10 MLB Player Searches
  1. D. Wright (2470)
  2. D. Span (2317)
  3. G. Stanton (2247)
  4. Y. Puig (2207)
  5. J. Fernandez (2161)
  1. G. Springer (1979)
  2. B. Crawford (1952)
  3. M. Sano (1794)
  4. M. Teixeira (1788)
  5. J. Hamilton (1713)