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“Game called on account of ‘Can’t feel my face.'”

Jul 11, 2011, 5:00 PM EDT

Doc Ellis

This is more of a link than a post, because there’s not a ton I can really add to this without appearing to endorse the content. But let me say this much:

  • Doc Ellis’ LSD-aided no-hitter of June 12, 1970 is one of baseball’s weirdest feats;
  • The linked story that is sort of about it is from A.J. Daulerio at Deadspin, so you’re right to think it may be slightly gonzo; and
  • I really, really hate it when a ricotta pizza tries to attack me too.

Anyway, it’s a good story about video games, pizza, history and lysergic acid diethylamide that, under no circumstances whatsoever should you try to replicate at home. And not just because there is no need for any drug in this world apart from some top-end liquor taken in moderation, though that should be reason alone.

  1. skerney - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:04 PM

    I got the ice in me.

  2. dailyrev - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    Poor Buccos — playing their best ball in two decades, could be in 1st place by Sunday, inspiring us all to “hurdle” our past — and this is the treatment the jolly roger gets today. Arrrr…Parrot, pass me the purple haze…

  3. florida76 - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    It’s a unique story to be sure, but we don’t actually know if Dock Ellis was LSD or anything else for that no-hitter back in 1970. One giant red flag is the reality he waited until 1984 before announcing this story.

    Another obvious fact is how difficult it is to pitch a no-hitter drug free, with all senses working perfectly, as opposed to being on mind altering drugs.

    Dock Ellis was also known for having an eccentric personality, so this tale of a drug aided no-hitter falls into this category.

    • frankvzappa - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:30 PM

      Oftentimes incredibly difficult tasks can be aided by certain substances. If you are able to focus, your mind works on a different level and is capable of accomplishing tasks that it otherwise often wouldn’t. So basically your theory about difficulty is nonsense. And the time lapse can be explained by being terrified of living in a police state and not wanting to incriminate oneself at the time.

      Note: I do not recommend any ever take LSD, under any circumstances, ever.

      • Panda Claus - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:46 PM

        To support this theory, a well-known NY linebacker was reported to be under the influence of who knows what on certain game days. I’m not naming names because I don’t have the facts in front of me, but thought this was fairly well documented.

  4. frankvzappa - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Actually there is much need for drugs in this world. Psychologists are discovering that psilocybin works wonders for terminally ill people, And medical marijuana is highly necessary and is so effective that Big Pharma is terrified of people waking up to it’s medicinal wonders. Never heard of Rick Simpson? The man doesn’t want you to know the truth and you should stop aiding and abetting the attempt to extinguish truth. Oh yeah, and…

    “Alcohol is a (expletive deleted) drug!” -Bill Hicks

    • Reflex - Jul 11, 2011 at 6:42 PM

      I’ve never understood the ‘big pharma’ argument about marijuana. Lots of drugs can be pretty easily synthesized or grown at home. Most people still purchase them when they need them. If pot is such a good medicinal product and were it legal to sell, why wouldn’t ‘big pharma’ or the tobacco companies or anyone else simply sell it like they do thousands of other products you can also make or grow at home?

      At the end of the day most people won’t bother to grow it themselves. Most of the real money to be made will be made by megacorps. There is no reason that I can think of for corporations to oppose something like pot legalization, as its nothing more than a revenue stream for them. Most of the pressure against pot legalization is social, not economic.

      Note: I’m not making a statement for or against marijuana legalization. I am only saying that the conspiracy theorists don’t seem to think things through very well.

      • koufaxmitzvah - Jul 11, 2011 at 11:30 PM

        “I really, really hate it when a ricotta pizza tries to attack me too.”

        Kids: Smoke pot and attack the ricotta pizza.

      • koufaxmitzvah - Jul 11, 2011 at 11:44 PM

        That comment was supposed to go at the end of the thread. But, hey, kids, when you smoke pot, almost anything can happen.

        I did want to respond to the above. There is a lot of money being made by keeping pot illegal. Law enforcement and the legal system are raking it in. “Big Pharma” does want you to pop mood swingers just like DuPont wants to avoid anything hemp. And Coors, Budweiser and Miller want all-American kids to know that growing up means cracking brewskis with your friends.

        That’s corporate America, and a corporate America will grow fields and fields of cheap weed once they deem it reasonable for them. In reality, the states are the ones who are losing by not taking advantage of taxing weed. Seriously, the first state that says Yes to legalization will change their entire populace.

        Weed is a social plant. True stoners make sacrifices in order to continue smoking dope. To each his own, and it’s not for everybody, but I don’t know one stoner who wouldn’t love to pay taxes in order to smoke pot openly.

        As it is written: On the 7th day, G-d said, “Damn, I glad I planted that 4 days ago. And creating Zig Zags and matchbooks is brilliant of Me.”

      • kopy - Jul 12, 2011 at 12:40 AM

        No way, the war on drugs costs American taxpayers a TON of money. It’s not speeding tickets. The government spends a ton of money on law enforcement, anti-drug campaigns, and then more money prosecuting and rehabilitating the offenders. I don’t even know if offenders pay fines. If they do, the amount is negligible in comparison.

        When contrasted against the money the government could make by legalizing drugs and taxing them, money is the opposite of a good reason why drugs are illegal. I’m not taking a stance on the issue, just saying that illegal drugs do not make the gov’t money, and is in fact very much the opposite.

      • Reflex - Jul 12, 2011 at 3:33 AM

        Thats another argument that dosen’t make much sense, economically. Yes, if you legalize and tax weed you will make money on it. However a new product does not magically expand the economy or personal disposable incomes. The money made in taxing weed will come from other things the money could have been spent(and taxed) on, whether it be alcohol, tobacco, or other products. Its ultimatly zero sum in that regard.

        A good argument could be made that money will be *saved* by not engaging in a war on drugs, however. In fact I cannot really think of a flaw in that argument. But thats not the one being made by advocates, even if it should be since its the realistic one.

      • kopy - Jul 12, 2011 at 8:39 AM

        It’s not zero sum because legalized drugs would be ridiculously cheaper. The government could tax the hell out of legalized drugs and it would still cost less to the consumer than before. Disposable income would actually grow up. The decline would be in the money that the growers and sellers make because they no longer take on risk when they push their product.

      • koufaxmitzvah - Jul 12, 2011 at 11:49 AM

        Since there is still a prohibition on pot, it’s silly to say one way or another as to what will be cheaper.

        Fact is, stoners like good weed. Good weed goes for a set price right now. The medical marijuana distributors are selling good weed at that rate. When I was in Amsterdam, I bought good weed for the same clip. I don’t think the cost of good weed will change in terms of the cost.

        Folks may continue to grow in their closets. They will probably do so for themselves and friends, but when a store front down the street can open and grow and sell freely, the closet grower will find out who his friends still are that will buy from him.

        Legalizing weed means no more wasting money on law enforcement and no more losing out on tax revenue. Colorado has a great plan and I hope it works out well.

        Downtown Denver seems like a cool place to live. Watch out, America. The huddled masses of stoners are ready to migrate and help make everyone’s lives better. Pizzerias, supermarkets, organic grow shops. Hop on board the Chattanooga Choo-Choo, cause where there’s smoke, there’s somebody who fired it up.

  5. frankvzappa - Jul 11, 2011 at 5:37 PM

    “So next time you wanna go out there, when you feel like feeding your head, think twice before dropping acid, hold out for mushrooms instead.”

    –Loudon Wainwright III

  6. Glenn - Jul 11, 2011 at 6:05 PM

    Time to break out this link to an animation narrated by Dock himself:

  7. bigleagues - Jul 12, 2011 at 1:49 PM

    CC: Agree with your statement except for the top shelf licka. Some folks (actually more than you think) are allergic to alcohol – and marijuana has proven over and over again to be safer that booze.

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